Go Ahead And Steal My Heart
by smc-27
Summary: There's a certain way he's always said her name in quiet moments that's always made her feel like there's more to them than either of them knows. The journey takes years, and somehow, they never really get any further than where they started out. Leyton.
1. Melt My Heart To Stone

**A/N:** The only thing that is different in this story is that Peyton and Lucas rebuild their friendship in season 2, and she never accuses him of being a crappy friend. The Pete Wentz thing never happens. Lucas never does the 'It's You' speech at the state championship game. Everything else should be fairly self-explanatory.

There will be two chapters to this (maybe three, but I haven't thought that far ahead!) so...if you want to read the second part, you'll want to hit that little 'alert' button.

The song in the first chapter is _Melt My Heart To Stone_ by Adele. The title of this fic comes from her song _Right As Rain_.

**----**

_| Right under my feet there's air made of bricks  
Pulls me down turns me weak for you |  
_

Sure, she broke up with Nathan because he was a jerk and she was tired of it, but there's also something else.

Someone else.

Lucas.

It's amazing to her that he was _nowhere_ and _no one_, and now he's _everywhere_ and _the only one_.

He makes her heart beat a little faster when she sees him, and everything just seems _thicker_, somehow. The air around her gets harder to breathe, and her feet seem to stick to the pavement. Her arms feel like they're weighed down so she won't just reach out and grab him.

She really doesn't want to listen to that voice in the back of her head that's telling her that's what love feels like.

She _can't_ love him. She barely knows him. She was with Nathan for the better part of a year and they never spoke those words. She's had a few conversations with Lucas, and he's doing things to her heart and her head that she really can't explain.

And Friday night was almost unbearable.

The car ride was tense in so many ways. Brooke wanted Lucas. Peyton wanted Lucas. Lucas wanted Peyton. Nathan wanted Peyton. Haley was just there, and uncomfortable, and it was all just bad. Peyton was nervous, and her hand was clutching the wheel so tightly that her knuckles were white, as they all tried to pretend that the silence wasn't unbearable.

Now they're back at school and everything's back to 'normal'. Well, the normal they've been living in for the past few weeks, anyway.

"Hey," Lucas says with a smile as he starts walking beside her. "Some Friday night, huh?"

"I don't know what was weirder. You and Nathan together in the middle of nowhere and him wearing your clothes," she says, making him laugh. "Or Brooke passed out in the back of her car with her ass in the air and Haley and I walking through the fog to a seedy gas station."

"Twilight zone," he states softly. They walk a few paces in silence, both acting like they're not itching to talk or touch or just...do _something_. "Hey, that CD was awesome."

"You liked it?" she asks excitedly. "I thought you would. I mean, sometimes people make mixes that are totally self indulgent, but I was..."

"What?" he asks when her voice trails. He loves the way she rambles a little when she talks about music.

The bell rings and they both look towards the building they should already be inside, and she flashes a little grin as she runs a hand through her unruly curls.

"I was just thinking of you when I made it."

She turns and walks away before he can respond, and she already hates herself. She doesn't know if she should, though. Maybe putting herself out there like that will help speed things along. She's been under the impression that he's totally nervous around her, too, and it's flattering, but she kind of wants him to just make a move already. Maybe he's just giving her time to 'get over' Nathan. The truth is, though, she doesn't need it.

She sees him in the library at lunch that day, and she's listening to her iPod, but she smiles at him and pushes out the chair next to her with her foot, signaling for him to sit down.

He smirks as he sits next to her and pulls out a tattered novel, and he reads while she sketches.

She doesn't know if she should be that comfortable in the silence he brings.

_| I find myself repeating like a broken tune  
And I'm forever excusing your intentions |  
_

She's had a really shitty week.

Actually, she's had a really shitty year.

Somehow, in the span of only a few months, she's managed to lose Nathan, Jake and Lucas; the latter several times.

And he's the only one she really wishes she could have held onto.

But she said no. She said_ 'this isn't supposed to be that'_. She walked away, and he walked to Brooke, and when he came back to her, she wasn't strong enough to say no again. They got caught up in one another and she betrayed her best friend, and while she'd really like to be able to say that it wasn't worth it, she can't.

He was her first love.

Maybe he still _is_ her first love.

But, as they say, the hits just keep on coming, and just as she thought they might get another chance, she learns that he's slept with someone else. That it was Nikki? Well, that only makes matters worse.

While she'd really like to say that she was throwing punches for Jake and Jenny the other night, she knows every last raised fist was selfish. She doesn't like Nikki, and now she just has another reason.

And as mad as she is at Lucas for his actions, she still loves him. Dammit.

He apologized, and she believed him, but she won't show that. He doesn't deserve to think that she's forgiven him this time. She's forgiven him everything else, and she's tired of this game.

She's tired of always being the one to get hurt and the one to be left behind. She's lost too much for him and not gotten anything back.

And now he's leaving.

He's leaving and he might not come back, and he told her he's going to change and he wanted her to know. He made that sound like some sort of promise. He made it sound like just maybe he's changing for her.

But what good is that change if he isn't around for her to see it?

She wants to tell him that he can't go anywhere because they aren't over yet, and maybe they'll never be over and she doesn't know how she knows that, but she does. She wants to tell him that she'll help him change.

But instead, she spat angry words at him and likened him to his brother, when his brother was the bad guy.

She knows, on some level, that it's his journey to take, and that if he feels like he needs to leave, he should leave.

But she _wants_ him to stay.

She just can't tell him that.

So she says nothing.

_| And I give in to my pretendings  
Which forgive you each time |  
_

The last thing she expects, when she walks into the record store that early in the morning, is to catch attitude from the scrawny guy stocking records. She almost would have rather his suggestion of her taking off her top be serious than have him insulting her taste in music. She supposes that says a lot about her passion.

She takes a moment to watch him after he tells her he never went to sleep and runs his hand through his messy hair.

She finds herself wondering what kept him up all night, until she notices the guitar case peeking out from behind the counter. She knows Max doesn't play, so it must be this guy's. She takes another look at him, and he was blatantly staring at her ass as she walked out the door, and she has to remind herself not to smile.

Something stops her from letting herself think he's cute. That something has blonde hair and blue eyes, and though she hasn't _really_ talked to him in a while, it hits her like a freight train that no one will ever measure up to him.

But she's pretty sure Lucas is into some 'mystery girl', as Nathan called her. He's moved on, and Peyton should, too, but she won't move on with that guy. And it's not just because he obviously doesn't share her taste in music.

She's sitting at a quiet table on the quad by herself at lunch when Lucas sits down beside her and rests his elbows back on the table.

"So you're really doing it, huh?" he asks with a smile.

That damn smile.

"What?" she asks absently, trying to focus on the spreadsheets in front of her. She thinks she's crazy; what other high school student takes on worrying about staffing a club on their lunch break?

"The all ages thing," he specifies, his tone suggesting that it's the most obvious thing in the world that he'd be talking to her about it.

"Yeah," she says, finally looking over at him.

He's wearing that sweater. _The_ sweater. The one he wore the night she almost ran him over, and the one he's worn a lot of nights since then. Some of her best memories involve him in that sweater. Actually, her best memory of that sweater was the night he showed up at her house wearing it, and she shivered. Instead of crawling beneath her covers or grabbing one of her own shirts, he took off his and she slipped it over her head. She can still remember that smell it carried...

"I think it's awesome, Peyton," he says sincerely. "I know my mom really appreciates all the work you're doing, too. You know? With the café and college, she's pretty busy."

"Yeah, well, I figure it's good experience, right?" she says before noticing that a girl with long brown hair, a short skirt, and a revealing halter top has stolen his attention.

But_ she_ used to be the one who stole his attention.

"Right," he says softly.

It hits her again that she's lost him, and neither of them says goodbye when he gets up and walks away.

_| Without me knowing  
They melt my heart to stone |  
_

Never before have three little letters rocked their circle of friends as much as these three letters.

HCM.

It's scary, they all learn. It's degenerative, and it's hereditary, and the chances are one in two that it's been passed onto one of the Scott brothers.

The already know that Nathan hasn't got it.

Peyton doesn't tell anyone, but she sheds a few tears at the thought of anything being wrong with the boy she still somehow thinks is pretty close to perfect. But if he has this flaw, she thinks it'll hurt her heart as much as it'll hurt his.

Karen tracked her down and the two of them sat on Peyton's sofa and talked about the possibilities and the very real fear that Lucas is too stubborn to accept that he did inherit something from Dan. Both of them know that Lucas' refusal to take the test has everything to do with his issues with his father, but they both agree that it isn't about Dan anymore. It's about Lucas, and how they just want him to be safe.

She does an internet search that night that terrifies her even more. Things like_ 'leading cause of mortality among young athletes'_, and _'sudden unexpected cardiac death'_ jump off the page and have her wiping her eyes again and grabbing her jacket and keys.

She finds herself at the River Court, where she sees Junk, Fergie and Skills sitting on the bleachers, as Karen told her they'd been doing, and Lucas sending up shots alone on the court. They won't play with him, but they won't leave him there alone, either, and she loves that he has friends who care that much.

He's a little scared when she gets out and slams the car door and starts stomping towards him. He's seen her like this before, and it's never been favourable for him. He knows she's not there to see any of the other guys.

"We need to talk," she states, putting her hand on her hip. Lucas looks to his friends for help, but they're as terrified as he is. "Don't do that. They aren't going to bail you out."

"Let me guess. My mom talked to you," he says dryly.

"Yo, Luke, we're gonna go," Skills calls out, shooting Peyton a smile before they leave the court. He knows that if anyone can get through Lucas' thick skull, just maybe this girl can.

"Yes, she talked to me," she says, her voice softer now that it's just the two of them. "And I'm a little hurt that _you_ didn't talk to me."

"I was..."

"In denial," she fills in. No one has put it like that, and he both loves and hates that she understands.

"Something like that," he mutters, kicking a weed that's growing through a crack in the pavement with the toe of his sneaker.

"Denial or not, you _need_ to take the test and deal with the results as they come," she says, stepping closer to him.

"Nathan doesn't have it, Peyton," he says seriously, locking eyes with her.

"I know."

"Which means that I probably do," he continues.

"I know," she says, nodding her head. Why he doesn't realize that's _exactly_ why he needs to take the test, she has no clue.

"Which means that basketball is over for me," he says softly, looking to the ground again before raising his eyes. "Basketball is the only dream I've ever really had."

"You can't live your dream..."

"If you're not alive," he says, rolling his eyes. Everyone keeps saying that.

"Don't do that," she warns sternly, wagging her index finger at him. "Don't scoff and roll your eyes and make it sound like you can just pretend this isn't happening!"

"Peyton..."

"No, Lucas!" she cries. She can feel the tears forming in her eyes again, and she doesn't care if he sees them. Maybe he needs to, to realize how important he is to everyone. To _her_. "There are other dreams for you to chase." She pauses to take his hands in hers. "There's only one _you_."

He pulls her into his arms because he just can't let her cry without comforting her, and he's never been able to. He feels her tears seep through his shirt, and he closes his eyes as he breathes in the scent of her shampoo. He doesn't realize how much he's missed that smell until this very moment.

The thought of never smelling that scent that's so uniquely _her_, or holding her in his arms again, has him rethinking everything.

She pulls away from him and lets go completely so she can wipe her eyes.

"Lucas, if you have this, you need to find out, OK?" she says almost pleadingly. "I'm not...I'm not ready to be without you yet."

He's about to question what that means, but she's already walking away, and he can't find it in himself to call after her.

He takes the test. Maybe Keith gives him the final push and they go together, but he knows, and maybe she knows too, that Peyton was the one who made him really reconsider.

_| And I hear your words that I made up  
You say my name like there could be an us |  
_

It's just the two of them for the summer, and that's more exciting to her than it should be. She knows he's still hopelessly infatuated with Brooke (she won't admit to herself that he's in love with Brooke), and she's still getting over Jake, but it's kind of nice to just be two kids together for the summer. The more she thinks about it, the more she realizes that there's no one else she'd rather spend two months in Tree Hill with, just the two of them.

They stroll along the boardwalk with their arms linked as they eat ice cream, and she pretends she doesn't see him staring at her in her black bikini. They spend evenings at each others' houses, since no one else is around to tell them it's a bad idea, and she'll wake up with his heavy arm draped over her stomach. And that's somehow the most comforting thing she's ever felt. Nathan used to do the same thing, but it felt restricting. It felt like he was holding her down.

With Lucas, it just feels like he's holding onto her. She loves that.

She has another encounter with her birth mom, and he goes with her to the salon when she insists that she's cutting her hair. He pleads with her not to, telling her that he loves her curls, and she almost reconsiders. But she doesn't want to be the girl who'll style her hair to please a guy, so she cuts it anyway. She realizes, as she runs her fingers through her now short, straight hair, that she didn't only cut it to separate herself from Ellie, she cut it to separate herself from Lucas, too.

If only it were that easy.

He stands in front of her and buries both hands in her blonde locks, and he smiles at her when he tells her he likes it.

She's glad he doesn't notice the shiver that runs down her spine.

They find a bottle of Jack Daniels at her house, and they decide that they might as well drink it. It's a silly, adolescents-in-summer thing to do, but they don't care. They go to his house and she grabs two shot glasses while he changes into his sweats, and they play name that tune, with each of them singing (badly) the guitar strains of songs, or belting obscure lyrics as they sit on his bed.

The bottle's nearly gone, but they'd changed the rules so that if you were _right_ you had to drink, because Peyton still hadn't had a drink after four rounds of the game.

They lay down when they see that it's 3:00 in the morning. They stopped drinking hours ago, but she still had a bit more than him and she's smaller than he is, and he's learned quickly that she can't handle her alcohol.

She snuggles close to him like she always does when they share a bed, and his hand falls to the contour of her waist, clumsily pulling her closer, though even in his foggy state, he knows that's probably a bad idea.

He's been meaning to ask her how she's really been dealing with everything they haven't really talked about in a week or so. Jake and Jenny and Ellie and her dad. The two of them have just been having _fun_, and he's loved every second of it, but he's still worried about her. He's caught off guard and distracted by her words when he tries to broach the subject.

"Peyton..."

"Mmm. I like that," she mumbles, cutting him off.

"What?" He almost laughs at the sleepy expression on her face. She's just so damn cute, even after several shots and when her hair's a mess.

"How you say my name," she continues.

"OK, boozy...," he says, shaking his head.

But the girl certainly knows how to make his heart race.

"No I mean it," she says, smiling over at him. "Sometimes you say it like..."

"Like what?" he asks when her voice trails.

"Like...not a friend," she finishes.

Her eyes close and she falls asleep before he can say anything in response, and he brushes the stray locks of hair away from her face as he thinks about what those words mean.

He knows she didn't mean that he says it like they _aren't_ friends. He knows she means that he says it like they're _more_ than friends.

_| I best tidy up my head I'm the only one in love  
I'm the only one in love |  
_

"What are you gonna tell her?" she asks, holding her paintbrush still in her hand.

"Nothing," he says with a shrug of his shoulders.

"You're not gonna tell her that you and I spent every day together this summer, or that you have HCM, or that you saved Dan from the dealership fire?" she asks disbelievingly.

"I don't need to tell her," he says, flopping back on her bed as she shakes her head.

All she can think is that he and Brooke aren't even in a relationship yet, and he's already doing the two things that tore them apart the last time. He's keeping things to himself, and he's failing to mention his relationship with Peyton. She knows this is all bad news.

"And why not?" she asks.

"Because I've got _you_," he says with a smirk, making her roll her eyes.

Inside, she's swooning.

She knows he means that he's got her to talk to about the big things that he doesn't want anyone else to know, but he certainly did a bang up job of making it sound like more than that.

She turns back to her wall, and she hears him getting up off the bed, and she kind of doesn't want him to leave. It hits her that everyone is home now, and that means less time for just the two of them. That bothers her more than it probably should.

"Alright, I've gotta go," he says, stretching his arms over his head in that way that always makes her heart race. "I guess I should go talk to her. Figure out if somehow the captain of the cheerleading squad will give a loser like me a second chance." He walks toward her and hugs her again, smiling when he pulls away.

"Bye," she says softly.

"Seeya, Peyt," he calls over his shoulder when he's already halfway out the door.

There's a beach party, and she doesn't want to go, because she knows that it'll mean seeing Brooke and Lucas together, but she pushes that thought aside. She doesn't want Lucas. She can't want Lucas. Lucas and Brooke are dating, and non-exclusive or not, she won't get in the way of that. Again.

She's drinking her second beer when he comes over and makes a comment about the music, and when he sees that there's no one else around, he reminds her of the last time they drank together, and they woke up at 1:00 in the afternoon with him in just his boxers and her in just her underwear and tank top. She blushes and he laughs, and she swears out loud that she's never drinking Jack Daniels again. He winks at her before he walks away, and she hangs her head.

She really doesn't need this.

She watches as Brooke toys with him for weeks. She tricks him into dressing up like Tommy Lee for halloween - which Peyton has to admit was at least a _little_ sexy. Brooke insists he go on dates with other girls, then gets mad when he does. She creates a manipulative scheme that backfires and doesn't pick him in the boy draft.

Peyton sits back and watches it all, and her heart aches for the hell he's going through to be with a girl that Peyton's pretty sure might not even _really_ want Lucas. Brooke's always enjoyed the chase, and Peyton just really hopes that Lucas won't be hurt. She knows, on some level that he will be.

But she keeps her mouth closed, because as much as she'd like to ask him if it's worth it, she knows he needs to figure it out on his own; it's not her place to meddle. And she wants to believe that her best friend isn't just chasing him because he's letting her.

Her heart breaks for him when she hears that Brooke's slept with Chris Keller.

She thinks back to when she first met Chris, and how thoughts of Lucas stopped her from even giving the guy a second glance, and she has to wonder how Brooke, whose supposedly dating Lucas, didn't even think twice about his feelings.

She comforts Brooke, but the whole time, her mind keeps wandering to that blonde boy, and she's almost thrilled when Brooke begs her to go talk to him for her. _'You're good with words and pain and Lucas.'_

If Brooke only knew...

She walks to Lucas' house, and the entire distance, she's wondering what she should say. She comes up empty.

When she sees him with a can of black paint and a brush in his hand, she comes up with a biting remark, and he makes one right back. She loves that he can hold his own with her, even when he's visibly upset.

She tries to explain that Brooke's sorry and she feels terrible, but he won't hear it.

"Luke, Brooke made a mistake, OK? Kinda like we did. And she forgave us," she says objectively. She can't say that anything she's really done with Lucas has been a mistake, but she knows she _should_ feel that way, so she says the words anyway.

"Yeah, well, she has a _really_ funny way of showing it. But, you know what? She made it perfectly clear that we were non-exclusive. I made the mistake of thinking we were meant to be with each other," he turns back to the door and splashes more paint on the surface. "I _won't_ make that mistake again."

She can't help but feel just a little bit happy, thinking that maybe he and Brooke are done for good, and she knows how selfish that is.

She ignores the voice in her head that's telling her that even if he is done with Brooke, that doesn't mean he'll want _her_.

_| Each and every time I turn around to leave  
I feel my heart begin to burst and bleed |  
_

There's too much going on for any of them to really process. They're too young for this, though she knows that even if they were older, they wouldn't understand it any better.

Death and disaster and pain and grief. It never gets easier, and maybe it shouldn't. If it did, that'd mean that people just _felt_ less, and that would be a greater tragedy.

Even so, two people have died, and Peyton was shot, and it's all just a lot to handle. Too much.

The thing that scares her most is that she finally admitted aloud the words that she now wishes she could take back.

She's at a party she's pretty sure is a terrible idea, but Brooke begged her to go, so she showed up. She finds herself in the library in the dark, and she feels a lump form in her throat for a moment when she sees Lucas walking towards her.

She knows this library will never be the same.

And neither of them will ever be the same.

He teases her about her love confession and the ensuing kiss, and it breaks her heart enough to make her cry. She knows he doesn't mean to, but he's downplaying her emotions and assuming she didn't mean it the way she did. He expresses his love for Brooke, and she has to smile. He loves Brooke. She won't get in the way of that. Again.

He tells her not to kiss anyone outside, and she closes her eyes as she shakes her head.

But she _needs_ to kiss someone. She needs to kiss someone and be done with Lucas, because he's so obviously done with her, and maybe her feelings are only there because there's no one else.

And the image of Jake flashes in her mind, and she lets herself _really_ think of him for the first time in a long time.

She wonders how he's doing and if he's seeing anyone, and what Jenny looks like. She wonders if he misses her. She wonders if just maybe, if she could just see him, they'd fall back into each other again and they could be together. They never really got a chance, and as she lays on her bed that night, she thinks that they deserve one.

So she follows her heart, and it takes her to Savannah. And as soon as she gets off the plane, she feels like her heart is _full_ again. There's a little girl toddling towards her, and there's a perfect man standing in front of her when she scoops that little girl up into her arms.

It's not easy. The first night, she wakes up alone and he's making excuses. He's not a great liar, but she'll go along with it because she doesn't want to start anything. She realizes that just maybe she was crazy coming here, thinking he'd just be waiting and she could just be his again.

They spend the day together and they flirt, but it's not like it used to be, and she's a little scared.

But then he sings a song that he doesn't need to tell her was written for her, and she's in as far or deeper than she ever was. They sleep together that night, and she feels like maybe all the pain she's had to deal with since he left is going away, just being with him again.

And then she proposes.

It's impulsive and crazy and probably not the smartest thing she's ever done, but she does it.

And he says yes.

But who knew three simple words would make her world fall apart?

Well, four not-so-simple words.

She leaves Savannah with tears in her eyes, a twice broken heart, and the knowledge that not only did she maybe never _really_ love Jake, but that she maybe only ever _really_ loved Lucas.

_| So desperately I try to link it with my head  
But instead I fall back to my knees |  
_

It's all a disaster when she comes back to town. Her car breaks down, and she's terrified of how she feels, and she knows Lucas is hurting since because isn't on the team anymore. She finds herself worrying about him more than she's worrying about herself, and she realizes that's just the way it's always been.

She's awkward around Brooke now, as they set up for the evening and Nathan and Haley's rehearsal dinner. She's afraid that something will happen and their friendship will suffer again, and she really doesn't want to lose Brooke again.

But what she realized junior year still rings true.

Lucas Scott is the one boy who's worth whatever she has to lose.

And then she gets paired up with him for a scene in the skit Brooke's prepared.

And they have to be in bed.

And he has to tell her he loves her.

This is bad.

As soon as he says the words, her heart starts beating in her chest and she feels like she can't breathe the air around her. He's never said them to her before, not really except that night in the library right before he told her he was in love with Brooke.

And their entire relationship flashes before her eyes. Their first meeting, and their first kiss, and his hands on her hips and his lips on her stomach, and the way he looked at her that day in the library. She realizes quickly that he's made it really easy to fall in love with him, even if he wasn't trying.

"Hey," he says worriedly. "I love you, you know that?"

She turns to him because he isn't just prompting her line again. He's telling her, without having to tell her, that he knows something's wrong, and that he's there for him if she needs him.

And she _does_ need him.

The tears start falling before she can stop them, and maybe she doesn't want to stop them. She closes her eyes before she looks at him again, and he's staring at her like it's killing him to not know what's bothering her.

"I love you, too."

_| As you tear your way right through me  
I forgive you once again |  
_

She tries not to think it's selfish that Brooke breaks up with him on what may be one of the scariest days of his life to date.

It should have been happy. It was a wedding. Two people coming together and promising forever. But Peyton and Brooke weren't speaking, and Rachel was a disaster. A car accident, a couple comas, and Nathan's brief hospital stay capped off the day.

And Brooke chose _that_ day, of all days, to break his heart.

He shows up at Peyton's house and they immediately embrace, because they can each see that they need it.

She doesn't want to be mad at Brooke, but the more Lucas talks to her and recalls the things Brooke had said to him, the more Peyton is starting to believe that the brunette just doesn't get it; that she doesn't get _him_.

Peyton tells him all about the letter and the prospect that she has a half-brother. He makes a joke, wondering what's in the water in North Carolina, that everyone has half-siblings. She lays down on the bed next to him, and they're both on their backs with their hands clasped on their stomachs.

"Sometimes I wonder, you know?" he says vaguely.

She laughs spiritedly and turns her head to look at him.

"Any more detail you wanna share?" she teases, and he rolls his eyes.

"I just mean...Brooke and I have been through so much," he says pensively. "And I'm...I mean, I want to be with her, I do. I wonder if...if maybe all these things keep happening because maybe we're not supposed to be together."

Her heart beats against her ribcage so fast that she's sure he'll hear it. But she's heard words like that before from him, and she won't let herself believe that he genuinely means them. Not again.

"Well...if you want to be with her..."

"That's what I'm saying, though," he says, turning to her. "Maybe I just _want_ it. Just because you want something, that doesn't mean that it's meant to be."

His words hit her harder than she can let on, because she's worried that's how she feels about him. Maybe she feels about him the way he's feeling about Brooke. Maybe the want is there, but that's all it is, and those feelings will never really be justified or explored like she wants them to be.

"Well...I think that you can't...You can't just ignore what you want, either," she says, though it's killing her to do it. She wants him to be happy, even if that's not with her.

She's so damn in love with him that it still surprises her sometimes.

"You ever think sometimes that..." he starts, before his voice trails.

"What?"

"I just keep thinking about the things that happened that didn't need to happen," he muses, turning to look at her again.

"Well...What do you mean?" she asks, rolling onto her side to look down at him.

"Like...with the Halloween party and the Rachel disaster and that stupid boy draft thing," he lists. "Not to mention her having sex with Chris Keller."

And there it is. All the things she'd been thinking since the beginning. All those signs that he and Brooke shouldn't be together, he has finally realized.

"But...you want to get back together with her," Peyton states almost disbelievingly.

"Look, I know you probably don't understand this, Peyton, but...I love her. You can't just turn that off, you know?"

Part of her wants to tell him to leave. She doesn't understand? She understands him better than anyone, and she understands the concept of loving someone though all explanation and rational thought tells you that you shouldn't. She understands it. Probably even more than he does.

"What?" he asks when she doesn't respond.

"Nothing," she says softly.

"Peyton," he says pleadingly.

"It's nothing, Luke." Her tone suggests finality, and he knows her better than to push the issue.

But he does it anyway.

"Why are you all moody and distant all of a sudden?" he asks with a cheeky grin as he nudges her arm. She smiles again and he sees her roll her eyes. "Sorry. I know I'm being a total girl about this Brooke stuff."

"It's OK."

She can't even pretend it's not a lie anymore.

_| Without me knowing  
You've burnt my heart to stone |  
_

She wonders, bitterly, if Tree Hill is the epicenter of the universe's drama.

She's laying in Lucas Scott's bed and wearing his sweatshirt, but not because he necessarily wants her there.

She's there because she's absolutely _terrified_ to be anywhere else.

She's thankful he gave her a key during the summer, and yet she still felt it was silly and inappropriate to use it. He assures her that it wasn't, and he smiles a sleepy smile as he takes her hand in his. Just the gentle feel of his skin on hers in such an innocent way already has her feeling better.

He really does always save her.

"You ready to talk to me yet?" he asks softly.

He's the only one she really _has_ been talking to, but that isn't saying much. She doesn't want to relive it all, and she doesn't want to cry in front of him anymore. But every time she thinks of that psycho's face inches from hers, and his rough hands on her skin, she feels like she can't breathe, and she can't stop the tears.

And they're welling in her eyes now as she lays with Lucas, because she's in awe that he takes such good care of her without her ever really having to ask.

"Hey," he says worriedly, moving closer to her once he sees the tears.

"Sorry."

"Don't apologize," he demands gently, placing his hand on her upper arm soothingly.

"I just...can't even close my eyes without seeing..."

"Don't," he cuts her off, maybe a little too harshly.

He realizes quickly that despite the fact that he's just told her to open up to him, he doesn't want to hear about the guy who almost...did whatever he was going to do to her. He knows she needs to talk, but he still doesn't really want to hear it. He _can't_.

He'll never really understand his need to protect her so fiercely.

"I'm scared," she whispers brokenly.

"Me too," he admits.

She lets out a breath and closes her eyes briefly, letting the tears fall. She doesn't know what he's scared of, but there's something about him admitting it that makes her fall a little more in love with him.

"Yeah?" she asks.

"People keep trying to take you from me," he says, smiling weakly as she looks at him from across the pillow. "Come on. Get some sleep."

She doesn't know how he can say those perfect things, then change the subject so quickly and remind her that he doesn't love her the way she loves him. He makes it sound like he can't live without her, then he brushes it off like it's nothing. She really wishes she could hate him for that.

"I don't want to," she says softly. "I can't."

"Yeah, you can," he insists.

She smiles at his faith in her, even in something so simple. He really does believe she can do anything.

He opens his arms to her, and she moves to settle into his embrace, and he holds her in that way he always does. Secure and tight, but still comforting and so very perfect. No one else holds a woman like Lucas Scott holds a woman. She really wants to believe that Lucas Scott doesn't hold any other woman like he holds her, but she doesn't know if that's the case.

"Just close your eyes, baby," he coos, brushing his fingers through her hair. "I'm right here."

She's asleep within minutes.

_| And I hear your words that I made up  
You say my name like there could be an us |  
_

Derek - the real one - is gone, and Peyton feels alone again. The only thing different now is that being alone somehow isn't quite so scary. She's got five locks on every door, and double paned windows that lock from the inside, and the security company is coming next week to install the alarm system.

But she can't stop another kind of fear. Brooke and Lucas went to the banquet together, and Peyton couldn't help but feel a little - OK, a lot - of jealousy when she saw his arm draped over the back of her former best friend's chair. They looked cozy. They looked like they used to.

And Peyton had no one.

Sure, Derek was there, but it wasn't the same and everyone knew it. Nathan nudged her knee under the table at one point when he saw her hold her gaze on Lucas just a little bit too long, and the younger Scott brother smirked at her when she looked at him. He knew, and she could tell, but she just closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Nathan wouldn't say anything to anyone. Besides, he had his own things to worry about, what with the championship game the next day and a child on the way.

She stands in her bedroom and she hears the front door open and close, but it doesn't make her breathing erratic or her heart race. Well, not out of fear anyway. Only Lucas has keys to her house now, so she knows it's him and he's come to...She doesn't know what he's come for.

She's got her back to her bedroom door when he comes in, and she smiles to herself when he applauds and tells her he likes the new decor. The red bedroom always did kind of define her.

He tells her that he and Brooke realized they were over, and that he left her on her front porch before driving over to see Peyton.

She doesn't know what that means, but she knows what she wants it to mean.

Maybe he realized that he and Brooke are over, because he and Peyton will never be over.

"So, I just wanted to come see how you were doing," he says as she wraps her arms around herself.

The words are right there on the tip of her tongue. I love you. I'm in love with you.

But on the tip of her tongue is where they stay.

"I know Derek leaving can't be easy," he continues.

"Yeah," she says quietly. "Seems like everyone I need always leaves."

He wants to roll his eyes at her oft-used sentiment, but he stops himself when he realizes that it's almost true.

Almost.

"Not me," he counters with a smirk.

She can't bring herself to tell him that she knows someday he'll leave, too. She just knows it. No one ever stays with her.

"What's wrong?" he asks when she doesn't respond.

"Nothing," she says with a shrug of her shoulders.

Nothing _is_ wrong, and that's the problem. It's the same as it always was. Her wanting him, and him wanting something - anything - else.

"Peyton, I know you," he reminds her.

"Don't do that," she says softly, shaking her head.

"What?" he asks confusedly. The girl is known to be a closed book, but not with him. Never with him.

"Don't..." She pauses and lets out a heavy sigh, then lets her eyes meet his. "Don't say my name like you mean it."

He's brought back to that night during the summer and the words she said, and it hits him hard that maybe she meant those words that night even more than he'd thought. These words, so similar, but so different, are scaring him. During the summer, it was whimsical and sweet, though sure, there was alcohol involved. This is dejected and desperate and almost whispered.

He wonders how long she's been in love with him.

"I'm gonna go," he says.

He knows it's stupid. She's Peyton Sawyer, and he's a fool if he runs. But he has to run. He can't be here with her right now, and he doesn't know why, but he can't. He knows he's just told her he won't leave, and now he's doing that very thing, but he hopes they both know he'll be back.

She shakes her head as he walks out of her bedroom, and in her mind, she's replaying all the words she never said.

_| I best tidy up my head I'm the only one in love  
I'm the only one in love |  
_

There's a moment - a split second, really - after the game, when she thinks of talking to him. She hasn't yet, and she wants to congratulate him. She wants to let him know that it's OK. Whatever is or isn't happening between them, it's OK.

But then Brooke intervenes.

Peyton has to laugh. She actually laughs out loud. Hasn't that been how her entire relationship with Lucas has gone? They come close to...something...and Brooke shows up.

So she walks away without saying a word to him and catches a ride with one of the other cheerleaders back to Tree Hill.

She doesn't think she's ever hated herself more than she does when Brooke comes into her room and tells her that something's wrong with that boy.

The last thing she said to him was sad and probably hurtful and maybe selfish, and on their way to the hospital, she faces the very real possibility that she'll never get to talk to him again.

And she absolutely breaks down.

Brooke lays a comforting hand on her former friend's back as she tries to focus on the road. Peyton offers a broken smile. Only Brooke and Nathan know how Peyton feels about Lucas, and she has to wonder if maybe she and Brooke can eventually restore their friendship. If Brooke can comfort her right now, then maybe they'll get there.

Karen's at home for a bit of sleep, so Peyton takes the spot next to his bed, and everyone who knows the two of them, knows that she's not moving until Karen comes back and she has to.

"Lucas, please," she says.

She wants to say more, she really does, but the words won't come. They get caught in her throat when the tears start to fall, so she just reaches for his hand with both of hers and hangs onto him like somehow that simple action will wake him up and bring him back.

"Please," she manages once more.

It's probably her imagination, but she thinks she feels him squeeze her hand, and when she looks up at the monitors that she shouldn't understand as well as she does, she sees that nothing's changed. His heart and brain function are steady, and nothing's spiking, and he probably didn't squeeze her hand.

But she squeezes his on the off-chance that maybe he can feel it.

_| Why do you steal my hand__  
Whenever I'm standing my own ground  
You build me up, then leave me dead |  
_

They're supposed to go to prom together. Just two friends in formal-wear.

But Brooke just _had_ to sleep with Nathan two years ago, and they just _had_ to tape it, and that tape just _had_ to be found the night before prom.

So she insists she's not going. She stupidly kicks Lucas out of her house for visiting Brooke first, though she has no real reason to be mad about that, and he had no real reason not to visit the brunette before the blonde.

The brunette has always come before the blonde, she thinks bitterly.

When Nathan shows up, she really wishes she could hate him. She _really_ wishes she could. But he apologizes, though he probably doesn't really need to. This is all ancient history anyway, but it's still nice to hear the words.

She tells him she's not going to prom, and his face falls like she's just told him the worst news he's ever heard. As one of two people in the world, well, three if you count Derek, who knows about her feelings for Lucas, he of course has to say the _one_ thing that'll make her reconsider.

_Don't take it out on Lucas. _

She's decided to go before he's even out the door.

She'd question, later that night when her stalker returns, why everything bad always seems to happen to her, but she's too busy trying to convince herself she's not going to die at the hands of this psycho. And, stupid girl that she is, she really wishes Lucas were here, and she's almost wondering why he isn't saving her.

Between she and Brooke, they manage to fight off their attacker, and as they sit on the front steps of the house, wrapped in a blanket, bloodied and bruised, dresses torn and hair a mess, that's where they regain their friendship. It's the very place that, earlier that day, Peyton had proclaimed she was done. She knows on some level, that no one would have been there for her like Brooke had been that night.

That they both start sleeping in Lucas' bed is a little odd, but the three of them joke about it and the tension dissipates. The girls need each other, and Peyton needs Lucas, so that's where they end up.

It's not lost on any of them that he only holds one girl's hand beneath the covers.

Brooke goes back to school, but Peyton isn't ready yet, and no one questions it. She lays in Lucas' bed and watches as he pulls his tee shirt over his head. The day's newspaper is tossed onto the porch outside, and when she hears it 'thud' against the wood, Peyton flinches and her breathing speeds up.

"I'm _not_ leaving you here alone," Lucas states with finality.

He sits on the edge of the bed and she closes her eyes and shakes her head. He really can't keep making sacrifices for her, and she can't let him.

"I'll be OK," she insists, though it's a weak attempt and her hands are still shaking.

"Yeah," he says with a smile. "Because I'm staying."

"You can't just skip classes," she tells him. "Just go to school."

"Peyt, I'm a senior and we're in our last few weeks of school. I've already gotten into college, and there aren't even any assignments to do," he explains. "I'm staying here with you."

She rolls her eyes when he lays down facing her and takes her hand in his, and she falls back to sleep shortly afterward. She can only sleep when he's holding her, and as he watches the rise and fall of her chest and listens to the incoherent ramblings she speaks in her sleep, he smiles to himself.

But why does he smile to himself?

She wakes up an hour later, and they drink coffee and watch The Price is Right, shouting their bids at the screen and laughing at how silly they're being.

"Know what's crazy?" he asks after a while, when her legs are draped over his and her bottom pressed up against his thigh. One of his arms lays across her thighs, and the other is on her calf with his hand on her knee. He's oddly comfortable with her laying like that.

"Hmm?" she asks after taking a sip of her tea.

"We didn't even really know each other until a year and a half ago," he states. It's common knowledge, but the way he says it makes it sound like it's the most profound information he's ever spoken.

"You were just a loser driving around in a tow truck with a book in your back pocket," she teases, and he squints at her. "Now you're just a loser driving around in a Mustang with a book in your back pocket."

"Oh, you are _so_ mean to me," he says, glaring at her as she laughs.

"See? I'm still the same bitch I always was," she says, punching his arm playfully.

"No you're not." He shakes his head and his tone is soft, and he lets her see that dimple on his cheek when he smiles. "You never were."

Her heart flutters in her chest, and she's reminded once again that no one ever saw her the way Lucas did. The way he does.

"Try telling Nathan that. Or Brooke," she mutters. He looks at her questioningly. The girl still doesn't get it.

"No one thinks that about you," he tells her. "We all know who you are, Peyton."

She smiles at him and turns her attention back to the television, and he lets out a breathy laugh at her inability to take a compliment.

"You're a great friend," he says softly.

Her heart shatters in her chest and she doesn't say anything in response.

She tries to sleep that night without his skin on hers, but he senses her restlessness and places his hand on her hip. Brooke's asleep next to her, and when Peyton looks at Lucas through the darkness and says thank you, he smiles at her and says a word that heals her heart again.

"Always."

_| Well I hear your words you made up  
So I say your name like there could be an us |  
_

The road trip they take to Texas is therapeutic, though sharing a bed with Lucas in a motel room in that sleepy little town makes it really difficult. Or maybe not that difficult at all. They aren't supposed to sleep in the same room, but Skills and Brooke have a little 'after party' in the girls' room, and Skills winds up passed out on Peyton's bed. She just laughs at him as she grabs her things, and sees Mouth and Brooke sleeping atop the covers on Brooke's bed.

She supposes she could sleep in the other bed in Lucas' room, but when she tries, he looks at her like a sad little boy, disappointed that she isn't laying down with him. For the first time since the summer before, they hold onto each other completely. They meld together in the middle of the bed, and they wake up with numb limbs, but it's worth it.

But she still moves in with Brooke and starts sleeping in her own bed, without Lucas. She needs to start pulling away from him, and they all know that.

She's leaving soon, and it came as a surprise to everyone, Lucas especially. He told her he was a little hurt that she didn't tell him she applied for the internship, and after an all-too-brief conversation, he left without really saying how he felt. The fact that he just walked out told her everything she needed to hear.

So she's on his doorstep, and she intends to maybe yell at him a bit and ask him what the hell his problem is.

When she walks in, he's reading a book she's seen him read at least three times before, and he's listening to an album she lent him a few days earlier.

There will be no yelling.

"Hey," she says, closing the door behind her.

"Hi," he greets, closing his book and setting it next to him. "Sorry about before. I was a jerk and you don't deserve that."

"No, it's OK," she says, shaking her head as she sits down on the edge of the bed.

"Not really," he sighs, trying - and failing - to smile at her. "I just...everything's changing."

"You're leaving, too, Lucas," she points out. "Everyone's going places, and you can't expect me to just...stay here and wait for you all to come back."

"I know that," he says softly, nodding his head. "But...you're going to _L.A._, Peyton."

"So is Brooke."

"Brooke's not you," he replies quickly.

She closes her eyes and shakes her head. She's heard that before.

"I just...I need to do this," she says, breezing past his comment when he doesn't apologize for speaking it.

"I know," he says, nodding his head.

"Do you?" she asks gently. "Because it seems like you really aren't being very supportive right now."

She's right and he knows it, but it's not that he doesn't support her. She's become his best friend, and while he'll have Nathan and Haley with him for the upcoming year, he won't have her. He hadn't realized how hard that was going to be until she told him she was leaving.

"I..." He pauses and runs his hand through his hair while he tries to think of the right words to say. "Look, you remember that night at the River Court?"

"Luke," she laughs, "need specifics. We've had a lot of nights at the River Court."

He smiles because he loves that they've had a lot of nights at the River Court.

"Last year. You yelled at me about the HCM test," he explains. She smiles weakly and nods her head. "You remember what you said?"

"Not really," she says with a furrowed brow. All she remembers his him holding her as she cried.

"You said you weren't ready to be without me yet," he says quietly, locking eyes with her for a moment before she looks away. "That's kind of what I'm dealing with right now."

"Well, the difference is that going to L.A. isn't going to kill me, and you not getting medication for a heart condition _was_ going to kill you," she reminds him.

"OK, that is so not the point!" he says almost angrily as he sits up a little straighter. "The point is that you're...You're my _Peyton_, OK? And...I honestly don't know what I'll do without you."

His Peyton. _His_ Peyton? She resists the urge to laugh bitterly. He's really clueless. He doesn't realize how many chances he's had for her to _really_ be his Peyton.

She's about to respond when he weaves his fingers through hers and smiles a perfect smile at her.

She looks down at their hands, and she bites the inside of her lip to keep from crying. He still doesn't get it, and he's just making it a lot easier to leave, if she's being honest.

"I don't want you to go," he finally admits.

She looks up at him again, just to make sure that he's being absolutely serious, and she sees that he is.

She also sees that look in his eyes that used to be there.

That look that used to tell her that he wanted her. That look that told her that they weren't merely friends. It's been a long, long time since she's seen it, but it's still the same. His eyes shine just a little bit, and they turn up at the sides because he's smiling, and the dimple on his cheek has her weak in the knees.

"Lucas," she says softly, letting herself smile at him.

She doesn't say anything else. There are a thousand words on the tip of her tongue. Some of them are angry, and some of them are sad. Some of them say that she'll stay if he thinks they could be something. Some of them tell him that he's too late.

But she doesn't speak any of them. She just pulls her hand from his and leaves his room because she has to.

And he finally knows what she was saying when she told him not to say her name like he meant it.

But he means it now, and it's all too late.

_| I best tidy up my head I'm the only one in love  
I'm the only one in love |  
_

He finishes his novel the night before she leaves for L.A.

It's not until he's written the last paragraph that he realizes it's a love story.

It's their love story.

It's the love story he didn't even _really_ know he was a part of until he saw it there before him in black and white. All the turning points they never had, and all the chances they missed to tell their feelings. Looking back now, he wonders how he could have possibly not realized it before. He's known she's felt something deeper. He's known it since that day in the library when she was fading fast and he was willing to do everything he could to keep her safe. Why he's ignored it, he'll never know. He'll never forgive himself for it, either.

It's the reason why he's having such a hard time wrapping his head (and heart) around her leaving, and the reason she said his name that way the other day.

It's three in the morning, and he should be sleeping. They went to a party, and they went to the River Court, and he was acutely aware that it was maybe the last time they'd all be together that way. No matter how much they all nodded and agreed that they'd be back there after they were done with school and traveling and internships, he knows, on some level, that they won't.

He wakes up after a restless night of barely sleeping, and he feels like his whole world is changing and he has no control over any of it. She told him yesterday not to come to the airport, and he knows why. They said their goodbyes last night when they left the River Court, but there's no way he's not going to see her one last time. There's no way.

Haley and Nathan and Jamie are there, and he catches Peyton's eye before anyone else sees him. He sees tears in her eyes and they hurt his heart as he walks towards her. Nathan pats his back and purses his lips.

None of them really believed he wouldn't show up.

He takes her by the hand and pulls her away from their group of friends, and he just looks at her for a few moments, as though just looking at her will somehow make him OK again.

"I'm sorry," he says. He knows she'll hear what he's sorry for without needing to really say all the words.

"Luke," she breathes out.

"No," he says firmly. "_I'm sorry_."

Sh gives him a broken smile and weaves her fingers through his.

"Me too," she whispers.

He pulls her into his arms and they stand like that for a while, just embracing and feeling each other one last time. He kisses her temple before they pull apart, and they almost laugh when her flight is called immediately after.

"I have to go," she says softly, and with far more meaning than anyone else would assume.

He doesn't say anything, he just nods his head. He won't say it's OK, because it's not. He won't say 'yeah', because that'll confirm it. He won't say 'let's go', because he _isn't_ going.

He won't tell her to stay, because he knows she doesn't want to.

They walk back to their friends and everyone hugs her one last time, and she wraps her arms around him again, just because she needs to, and she can see that he needs it, too.

"I'm scared," she admits, loud enough for only him to hear.

He lets out a weak laugh at the familiarity of those words as he cradles the back of her head against him.

"Me too," he says. It's the only response he can think to give, and it's the most honest.

She kisses him on the cheek and she locks her eyes with his. She's not crying. There aren't tears in her eyes, and her chin isn't trembling, and she's not even biting her bottom lip like she always does when she's trying to keep herself from tearing up. She's just looking at him like they both now realize what they never had; what they could have had.

But she leaves.

And he can see it in her eyes that she's not coming back.

In his mind, he's replaying all the words he never said.

**----**

To be continued...


	2. Best For Last

**A/N:** So, I still haven't decided if there will be a third part, but I'm leaning towards 'yes'. I have no idea when that'll be written/posted, though. I hope you like the second part.

**----**

_| Wait, do you see my heart on my sleeve?  
It's been there for days on end and  
It's been waiting for you to open up |  
_

In the first bag she unpacks when she gets to L.A., she finds something she knows she didn't put there. He must have, when he was 'helping' her. Helping is a generous term, since he was really just distracting her from the task at hand.

But finding this item now, she realizes he helped her more than she ever thought. It's a little piece of home. It's a little piece of him.

It's that grey sweater with his last name on the back. She holds the worn grey cotton in her hands, and she smiles at how sneaky he was and how much she loves him for giving it to her. It smells like him, and if it wasn't so damn hot in her little apartment, she'd pull the fabric over her head.

But she folds it and goes to put it in a drawer, and before she can, she realizes there's something in the front pocket. She pulls out a little note with only one word written in his unique, all-caps printing.

_Remember? _

She remembers.

She doesn't mention it to him when they talk, but they both know she's found the sweater. They don't talk about it because they don't need to.

The first few weeks of summer are almost unbearable for him. Everything he does that he used to love, somehow reminds him of the girl who isn't there. Everything that comes with summer reminds him of her and the summer they spent just the two of them.

Silly things, too, like watching the sailboats maneuver in the marina, or checking their favourite ice cream shop on Mondays after lunch to see what new flavours have come in. Sitting on his bed while she reads Rolling Stone and he reads whatever classic he's got his hands on.

He can't even set foot on the beach until three weeks after she's left.

They still talk - or at least correspond - every day. She'll text him something goofy, or she'll send him an email if she can't call. Her emails _feel_ like her. She writes the way she speaks, and he loves that.

Somehow, he's falling even harder now that she's not around. He realizes that he took her for granted, and he can't help but hate himself for it.

He's at the River Court one day when Nathan walks up with Jamie slumbering in his stroller, and Lucas runs his hand over the infant's soft hair as he greets his brother.

They make small talk for a bit, and Nathan pulls out a few photos from their last weeks of high school, and he notices that Lucas's shoulders drop when he comes to one of that beautiful blonde girl.

"You miss her, huh?" Nathan points out needlessly. "Me too."

"I talked to her yesterday," Lucas says, knowing he doesn't need to answer his brother's question. "She sounded so...happy."

"She was happy here, too," Nathan insists, knowing what Lucas was implying.

"Not like that, Nate," Lucas says, shaking his head as he flips to the next photo.

This one tugs at his heart a little more, because it's of him and her, and he didn't know it was taken. They're facing each other and smiling, and his arm is draped around the chair she sits on. They look like a couple, and he hates that they never really were one.

"Yeah, she was," Nathan counters. He points to the photo and smiles. "Look at that."

Lucas knows it's naive of him to think he's the only one missing her, but he knows that no one else misses her the same way he does. No one else knows he loves her, and if they do, they aren't letting on. Maybe they don't want to encourage it.

Or maybe they've just known all along.

If that's the case, a heads up would have been nice.

But he still smiles at the photo of the two of them. Maybe she really was happy. Jamie stirs and starts to whimper. Nathan grabs the photos, but leaves Lucas with the one in his hands. He says they'll talk later, and he starts walking back in the direction he came.

Lucas dials her number as he's walking home with that photo tucked in the back pocket of his jeans. Maybe it was silly to think she'd answer, but he's still a little hurt when he gets her voicemail.

"Mint chocolate chip, cherry cheesecake, chocolate truffle, french vanilla, and rum butter."

He knows she'll know what that means, and when she texts him back a couple hours later, he laughs to himself.

_"Have some chocolate truffle for me! xxoo"_

He goes to that little ice cream shop the next day and does that very thing, and when he replies to her email of the day, he tells her she would have loved it.

They haven't made mention of the unspoken, but completely understood, feelings between the two of them, and something in him knows that she won't bring it up.

He's not sure if he should, either.

_| Just you baby, come on now  
I'm trying to tell you just how  
I'd like to hear the words roll out of your mouth finally |  
_

Near the end of the summer, he tells her he can't wait for her to be back in North Carolina, even if they're still a few hours apart. He's, perhaps naively, been holding onto the hope that she'd come back, and that the look in her eyes at the airport wasn't really there. He thinks that just maybe all the underlying emotions he's put into his calls and emails is enough to make her realize that she's got something to come back to.

But she's in L.A., and she's already making a name for herself. She loves her apartment, and she loves meeting up with Brooke after a long day at work and eating sushi in hidden little restaurants. She loves shopping at obscure boutiques and finding vintage vinyl in milk crates at flea markets. L.A. looks good on her, as her best friend has told her so, and she kind of doesn't want to leave.

She wonders if she ever really believed she would.

She accepts the full time job she's offered on the spot. She doesn't take time to think. She doesn't call Lucas for advice. She doesn't ask Brooke if she thinks it's a good idea. For the first time in a long time, she's making a decision based solely on what she wants, and she's reminded of how good that feels.

Telling Lucas, however, doesn't feel good.

In fact, it feels pretty terrible.

He's telling her he misses her, and how once she's back in Tree Hill, he'll visit from school and they'll hang out on weekends like they used to.

And all she can think is that it _won't_ be like it used to. It'll be more, or it'll be less, but it won't be like it used to. It can't be.

She knows he loves her, even though he hasn't said the words, and she's thankful that he hasn't. She can't deal with that. He had his chance; they had their chance. That chance is gone, and now she needs to take this next one and see where it leads her.

"Luke...I'm...I'm staying here," she says softly, wincing as she waits for his reaction.

She gets nothing.

"Luke?"

"I...Staying?" he asks disbelievingly.

"They offered me a job!" she says excitedly. She hopes the excitement in her tone will instill some in his. "It's entry-level, and it'll probably suck for a while, but it's a job."

"That's...That's great, Peyton," he says, trying his hardest not to sound disappointed. They both know he is, but he knows she doesn't need to hear it, so he'll try to be supportive.

"I'm...are you sure?" she asks. He sighs, and she can hear him, but when he speaks again, she knows he's really trying to be happy for her.

"If you think so, then I think so," he says.

She lets out a breath, relieved that he understands, but she doesn't expect his next words.

"I just miss you way more than...way more than I ever thought," he admits.

They've done this before. They've done _I miss you_'s, and _I wish you were here'_s, and Y_ou would have loved to see me on Friday night!'_s. They've done _Skills made me drink shots of JD with him and I thought of you_, and_ Brooke asked if you were still brooding non-stop over losing the two hottest girls you're ever gonna get_.

This is different. It's heavy and almost desperate, and it's like he's pleading with her to confirm that she misses him just as much.

It's like he's pleading with her to tell him she loves him.

She won't say it and they both know that, and he won't say it and they both know that, too.

"Well, Thanksgiving's not far off, right?" she says, faking cheeriness. "I'll probably be home then."

"Yeah," he says, forcing himself to believe her when he's not sure he should. "Yeah. Thanksgiving."

"Well listen, I've gotta go, OK?" she tells him abruptly. "A few friends are taking me out to celebrate."

"Alright. Have fun. Be careful," he insists, just like he always does. He's still protective, even from so far away. She kind of loves that.

"I will," she says softly.

"OK."

"Hey, Luke?" she says, using that tone she knows always makes him really listen.

"Yeah?"

"I miss you, too," she admits. "So much."

He's pretty sure that's as close to an _I love you_ as they're ever going to get.

_| Say that it's always been me  
That's made you feel a way you've never felt before  
And I'm all you need and that you never want more |  
_

She really does come home for Thanksgiving, and he's more surprised by that than anyone else. He tries to tell himself that it's just because he knows she's so busy, but he knows the real reason is much deeper.

He knows it's easier to have low expectations and have them be exceeded, than high ones and be disappointed.

He feels a surge of adrenaline pump through his veins when she tells him her flight number and arrival time.

Nathan jokingly says he'll pick her up from the airport, and they all laugh at the angry look on Lucas' face.

And Peyton's excited. As much as she was thankful to leave that little town, she's pretty happy to be going back for a little visit, no matter how brief. She's using some overtime hours she's got saved up to take an extra day off to spend in her hometown, and she's not surprised when Lucas says he'll skip his classes to spend the day with her.

She really has no idea what this visit is going to bring, but she finds herself comfortably anxious to find out.

Truthfully, she's felt her feelings for Lucas waning a little bit, and she wants to know if that's just because she's been so far away from him, or if maybe she really is just getting over him.

She sees him at the airport, standing with his back to her, and when her heart starts beating against her rib cage, she knows she's not getting over him.

"Is it me, or are chauffeurs getting cuter and cuter?" she asks teasingly as she walks up behind him.

He turns around and pulls her into his arms before he even looks at her.

He takes her bags, and she's got her arm around his waist like she doesn't want to let him go yet, and he smiles when he breathes in the scent of her shampoo. It's still the same and he's never been more grateful that some things never change.

He drives around for a while, and they both know he's just not ready to share her with everyone else yet, and to be honest, she's not ready to be shared.

"How _are_ you?" he asks with a smile as they drive along the back roads of their little town.

"You talked to me yesterday!" she laughs.

"Yeah, but it's not the same." He doesn't elaborate, and he doesn't have to. She just smiles and shakes her head at him.

"I'm really good," she says, shifting her body towards his just a little more. "But it's good to be back, too."

He literally has to clench his teeth to keep from telling her to just _be_ back, then.

"It's so good to see you," he says, taking her hand in his and holding it against his thigh as he drives.

That's the moment she realizes that if she moved back, they would be together.

So why is there still something telling her not to do it?

_| Then you'd say all of the right things without a clue  
But you'd save the best for last  
Like I'm the one for you |  
_

She gives Nathan, Haley, Lucas and Karen handwritten letters from Brooke. They're written on Clothes Over Bros letterhead, and everyone makes a point of saying how proud they are of her. Peyton makes a mental note to tell the brunette that when she gets back to L.A.

They spend her first evening back talking and catching up, and everyone notices the way Lucas looks at Peyton, and the way she looks at him. Haley's close to just asking why the hell they aren't together, but she manages to bite her tongue. She's sure they have their reasons.

They settle into bed that night - she's sleeping in his room, of course - and neither of them is sure what to do. Should he hold her like he wants to? Should he let her decide? What if he touches her and she doesn't want him too? He's working himself into a panic, but when she runs in from the bathroom wearing her pajama pants and one of his hoodies, she snuggles into bed as quickly as she can and her hand falls to his chest.

_God_, he's missed this.

"It's so cold here," she says, making him laugh.

"It's not _that_ cold," he reminds her.

"It's cold enough!" she retorts.

She moves a little closer, and her leg drapes over his a bit, and she hears him sigh in contentment right before he kisses her temple.

_God_, she's missed this.

They're inseparable for the next three days. Literally, they barely leave each others' sight. They playfully tease one another, and he lays a hand on her shoulder when she's holding Lily. She watches him shoot around at the River Court, and they walk hand in hand back to his house.

He knows they look like a couple, and he's glad. He wants them to be, and he doesn't care if she knows that or not.

So why can't he just say the words?

He drives her to the airport and she's in his arms at the terminal, and he knows she's crying. It feels like six months ago, all over again.

"God, why am I crying!?" she asks with a laugh as she pulls away to wipe her tears. He just smiles at her.

"Because you don't want to leave?" he ventures. She laughs again and intertwines their fingers.

"I have to, though," she reminds him. They both know it's true, he just really doesn't want it to be.

"Peyton, why's it so easy with us?" he asks after a moment of silence. His tone is soft, and she can tell he really just wants to know.

"It's not," she answers, smiling weakly as their eyes lock. "We just really wish it was."

Her flight is called, and she takes a deep breath as he sighs again.

But then she leans forward and presses her lips to the side of his mouth in a quick, chaste, seemingly platonic kiss, and winks at him as she picks up her carryon.

"I'll be seein' ya, Lucas Scott."

He's not sure she knows that she's just said the perfect things to keep him hanging on.

He watches her walk away, and she doesn't look back once.

_| You should know that you're just a temporary fix  
This is not rooted with you it don't mean that much to me |  
_

She meets a boy.

It's unexpected and he catches her off guard. He's persistent - a little like Nathan was in the beginning - and he smirks at her like he knows something she doesn't. She doesn't even really know why she likes him.

She finds herself agreeing to go out with him before he's even really asked.

She didn't go to Tree Hill for Christmas, and she knows that everyone there is disappointed, but she couldn't really afford it, and she could only get two days off, and it just really didn't seem worth it.

Something about Lucas' tone of voice when she told him the news made her angry. Really good and angry. She tried not to let on, and she's not sure if he bought it, but that tone of voice made it just a little easier to not feel guilty for not going to Tree Hill.

She's at a New Year's Eve party that she's not sure is really all that fun, and she calls Lucas just after midnight, his time, just to wish him a happy new year. She couldn't not.

"Happy New Year!" she sings into the phone. OK, so she's had a couple glasses of wine, too.

"Hey! You too," he says. "I mean, three hours from now."

"Yeah," she laughs.

"Sounds loud. Where are you?" he asks curiously. There's nothing jealous or possessive in his voice, he's just asking the simple question.

"This party. It's _so_ lame. I honestly don't even know whose apartment this is," she says, sitting herself down in a chair in a corner away from the crows.

"You know, you're really not making me feel very good right now," he teases, and she laughs. Maybe it's the wine, but he's actually making jokes, so she laughs.

"What did you do?"

"Just me, mom, Lily, Nathan, Haley and Jamie," he says. "Oh, and Deb."

"So, sparkling cider and teething infants," she points out with a laugh. "Honestly, that might be more fun than this party."

"So why are you there?" he asks. She can hear him smirking, and the thought of seeing that smirk almost has her forgiving him for the things he said about her 'abandoning' her friends for the holidays.

"Nothing else to do, I guess. If I go home, it'll just be me, and that's a little sad," she explains. "OK, I'm gonna go. I have an empty glass and I need to decide if I should stay or go."

"I say go," he says predictably. "But either way, be care..."

"Careful," she says, rolling her eyes. "Yes, Luke. I'll call you...soon, OK?"

"OK. Bye, Peyton."

"Bye, Luke."

She's still smiling when she snaps her phone shut, and she wonders if maybe she was just mad at him because she was mad at herself. She doesn't want to be the one who makes him upset. He had reason to be disappointed, and she should have been sensitive to that. He just wanted to see her, and that's just about the sweetest thing.

"So, you think my party's lame, huh?" a voice calls from behind her.

"Oh!" she cries, placing her hand over her heart. "You scared me!"

"Well, when you sneak off to corners and complain about how horrible the scene is here, I feel the need to check in and see how I can improve it," he says, flashing a grin that makes her heart race a little.

"It's not bad..._per say_," she tries.

"Per say?" he asks skeptically.

"Yeah. It's just...it's 9:30 and almost everyone's hammered, and in my experience, that just means the party is unbearable," she says, standing from her place and crossing her arms.

She's usually not so bold with people she doesn't know. Maybe it's the wine. Maybe it's that she's still hung up on the boy she just hung up with. Maybe it's the fact that this guy in front of her with his arms crossed over his chest actually seems like he can hold his own with her.

"So...let's leave," he says with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Leave? You want to leave your own party?" she asks incredulously.

"Sure." He grins again and she knows she's going. "My roommate can handle it."

"I don't even know your name," she points out.

But she's already following him to the door.

"It's Julian," he tells her, pulling open the door and letting her step into the hall.

She doesn't say anything back, because she wonders what the hell she's doing. She went from contemplating going home and slipping into that old grey sweater, to stepping into an elevator with a complete stranger.

"This is usually the part where you tell me your name," he says with a chuckle.

"It's Peyton," she says softly.

This guy is so _not_ Lucas. He's rougher around the edges, and his eyes are so brown they're almost black. He's not an athlete, she can tell right away, and she notices, since he's really not trying to hide it, the way he checks her out as she pulls on her jacket. He grins a little wider when she catches him, and he doesn't blush like Lucas always did.

"Well, Peyton, how do you feel about French fries?" he asks once the elevator starts moving.

"I feel great about them," she says with a smile.

They spend a couple hours eating fries and sipping soda at a little hole in the wall that she's walked past at least 20 times before and never noticed. They talk about their work and their hometowns, and she finds herself flirting before she can stop herself. And he's flirting back. He tells her, as they pass a particular billboard for the product, that her eyes are the colour of a Mountain Dew can, and she laughs, but he places his hands on her shoulders and positions her in front of the photo to make the comparison. She raises an eyebrow and asks if he wants to know what his eyes remind her of, and he chuckles and tells her to keep that one to herself.

They've walked around parts of the city she didn't even know existed, and by the time they make it to her building, it's 4:00 in the morning.

He kisses the apple of her cheek gently and winks as he walks down the steps towards the sidewalk. She turns around when she realizes he's still standing there staring at her, and she's acutely aware that this isn't the boy she wants.

But she still agrees to go out with him again.

_| You're just a filler in the space that happened to be free  
How dare you think you'd get away with trying to play me |  
_

She starts dating Julian. _Really_ dating him. They go to dinner and watch movies on her sofa and he spends the night. He's funny and he challenges her, and he's good to her.

It's the middle of March, and the weather is just warming up, and it's her first spring in L.A. He shows her his favourite places. Flowers bloom and she's paying attention to them while he only sees her. He brings her fresh lilacs the next day just to prove that he was paying attention when she told him she always loved the smell.

All she can think of are the azaleas Lucas used to pick for her every so often a couple summers ago.

They're spending a Saturday morning in bed, talking and cuddling, after a very strange breakfast of coffee and rice cakes, and her phone rings next to her bed while she's brewing another pot to get them through the lazy day.

"Can you grab that?" she shouts from the kitchen.

"No!"

"Julian," she whines. "Please!"

"I'm not answering your phone," he says, just before he hears her running back towards the bedroom.

He's got her cell in his hands, and he's wondering who Lucas is.

"Gimme," she demands with a smile, holding out her hand. He grins and shakes his head, but he does as he's told. "Hello?"

"Hey! How are you?" Lucas asks. It's been a few days since they last spoke, and he has something he's excited to tell her.

"Good! What's up?" she inquires. Julian grabs her waist and pulls her back onto the bed, and she shoots him a look to tell him to stop.

"I have news," he states.

His news is forgotten when he hears the unmistakable sound of someone kissing her. Or her kissing someone.

She shrugs Julian off and she knows that he's just trying to somehow mark his territory.

And she doesn't like it one bit.

She's not property and he shouldn't be insecure, but she saw him glancing at the name on her phone, and she's sure he's only acting like this because she's talking to another guy.

But Lucas _isn't_ just another guy, and in her heart of hearts, she knows that Julian has every reason to be insecure. She also knows there's a very heavy reason she's never even so much as mentioned Lucas' name to Julian.

She knows there's an even heavier reason why she's never even so much as mentioned Julian's name to Lucas.

"What's the news?" she asks, standing up again and turning her back to Julian. He groans loudly and she looks at him admonishingly.

"What's _your_ news, Peyton?" Lucas asks quietly.

She wonders if that's the sound of someone's heart breaking.

"Lucas, I..."

It's not lost on Julian that she leaves the room as soon as she speaks the other guy's name.

"You're...you're dating someone," he states needlessly. His blood is boiling at the thought of her with another man, but he knows she'll be mad if he actually speaks those words.

"Yeah, it's kind of new-ish," she says lamely. It's not even true, and she knows that he's going to ask what he asks next.

"How new?"

"New Years?" she says it like a question because she's not sure how he's going to react.

Well, she _is_ sure and she's bracing herself for it.

"New Years?! Peyton, it's March!" he shouts. "You've been dating someone for over _two_ months and you're just telling me _now_!?"

"OK, look," she says firmly, "you don't get to judge me Lucas. You have _no_ right."

"I'm not judging! I'm just...pissed that you didn't tell me!"

"And why should I?" she asks bitterly. "It's not like you've been all that truthful with me, either."

"What the hell does _that_ mean?" he asks.

"Don't pretend you don't know exactly what I'm talking about, because you do, and we _both_ know it," she says, speaking at a dangerously low level.

"OK, you're being crazy. I'm not even going to _pretend_ I know what you're saying right now," he argues. But she's _not_ being crazy, and he _does_ know what she's saying.

"Luke, you won't ever just say..." she starts, before remembering the man in the other room. "I'm not having this discussion right now."

"Fine!" he shouts. "Keep your secrets, Peyton. Tell them to your boyfriend."

"Luke!"

"And by the way? Nathan and I won our game last night. We're playing for the title next weekend," he says just before he hangs up.

The line goes dead before she can ask 'what game', and it kills her that she doesn't already know the answer.

Julian comes out of the bedroom fully clothed, and he reaches for his shoes without ever looking at her.

"What are you doing?" she asks in frustration.

What the hell is with men today?

"Leaving," he says coldly.

"Why, exactly?" she asks, putting her hand on her hip.

"Because you just had a more passionate conversation with whoever the hell Lucas is than you've ever had with me," he points out. She lets out a sigh and looks away. He's right and they both know it. "Maybe I was crazy to think a girl like you didn't come with baggage."

"_Baggage_?" she asks indignantly.

"You're...incredible," he says as he stands. He grins at her the way he always does when he compliments her. "There's no way you haven't broken hearts."

"Julian..."

"I won't let mine be one of them," he says softly.

He kisses her forehead gently and reaches for the door handle, and he doesn't turn around when she calls his name again.

She's lost her boyfriend and the love of her life in the same day, and all she can do is ask herself why they aren't the same person.

_| Why is it everytime I think I've tried my hardest  
It turns out it ain't enough cause you're still not mentioning love  
What am I supposed to do to make you want me properly? |  
_

She cries for a day and a half.

She's not crying over Julian and the way he left and the things he said and the hurt look on his face.

She's crying over the very tone of voice she heard from Lucas that used to make her mad. She's heard it before, she realizes, a lot of times before. She doesn't know why it affects her so differently now.

He's hurt, and it's all her fault, and as much as she's been the one hurting because of him in the past, she can't keep herself from feeling like it really doesn't need to be that way. She doesn't need to be mad, and he doesn't need to be hurt, and if the two of them could just talk it out instead of dancing around one another, they might actually be OK.

It's late when she calls him. Well, late for him. It's almost midnight, but she needs to talk to him, and something tells her that he won't mind if she wakes him up.

"Hi," he says softly. He kind of hates himself for smiling when he sees her name on the caller ID, but he can't stand the way they left things, and all he's wanted for a day and a half is to make it right.

"Hi," she almost whispers back. They're quiet for a moment, because she really doesn't know what to say, and _I'm sorry_ just doesn't seem like enough. "We broke up."

"Oh," he says. He props himself up on his elbow in his bed. All he wants is for her to be happy, and as painful as it's been, he's realized since finding out about her boyfriend that she deserves that no matter where she finds it.

"Don't say you're sorry," she says with a weak laugh.

Only Peyton could make jokes like that and make him laugh right now.

"I wasn't about to," he tells her.

"Yes, you were," she sighs. She knows him too well, and she knows that even if he didn't like the relationship, he'd still feel bad for her if it ended. "So listen, I was...I said things..."

"So did I," he says softly. There's a moment of silence that still sounds a lot like understanding. "Why'd you break up with him?"

It's a selfish question to ask, but he does it anyway. He wants her to tell him that it's because she can't see herself with anyone but him.

She doesn't.

"He broke up with me."

"What?" he asks in shock. "Why the hell would he do that?"

She laughs because she finds it hilarious that he doesn't know Julian. He doesn't know any of the details of their relationship or how serious it was (or wasn't), but he's still questioning the stranger's motives.

"Because I yelled at you," she explains.

"How does that...?"

"He said I have more passion for you than I ever did for him," she says before she can stop herself. But she likes being honest with Lucas. Being honest with Lucas has always been easy. Well, when she wasn't avoiding telling him she was in love with him.

His heart's beating faster and all he wants to do is tell her that he's been waiting for her to say something like that for what feels like forever. If she could see him now, she'd see the goofy smile he's wearing.

"Luke?"

"Yeah," he says quickly, making her laugh. "I...I thought maybe you argued over his taste in music or something."

"I wouldn't break up with someone because..."

"Peyton," he says admonishingly. She can practically see the smile on his face.

"OK, fine, so I would," she admits in defeat. She lays back on her bed and it hits her that she's only gone a day and a half without talking to him, but it's felt like a lifetime.

"So, I probably overreacted, then," he says shamefully. "I just...I guess I always held out hope that..."

"Me too," she whispers.

"So...what do you want to do?" he asks. It's heavy and deep, and they've never even really acknowledged their mutual feelings, and his heart is beating fast again as he waits for what she might say.

"I want to hear all about the Division II title you and Nathan are going to win this weekend," she says.

And he has to laugh.

He has to laugh so he doesn't cry.

She loves him, and he loves her, and he's really wondering how long they're going to do this little dance before they either crash and burn, or come together.

He tells her all about the game and their last win and how excited they all are, and she's excited, too, he can tell. She tells him she knows a sports bar where they'll be playing the game, and that she'll wear the Gilmore tee shirt he sent her and cheer him on.

They say goodnight after an hour-long conversation, and she hangs up thinking that maybe it really _is_ easy, and they just make it harder than it needs to be.

_| I'm taking these chances and getting away  
And though I'm trying my hardest you go back to her  
And I think that I know things may never change |  
_

He heads to New York for a weekend when he's shopping his novel. He's - miraculously, he thinks - gotten competing offers, and he's meeting with a few different publishers to talk advances and resources and...whatever other bargaining chips they're trying to use to sway him. He can't say he hates the attention and validation that comes with creating this little bidding war.

Peyton cried into the phone when he told her, and he loves her for that.

No one knows he's actually written two full novels, and that this isn't the one they all think it is. The first one, he's not sure he'll ever show anyone. It's all - well, mostly - about Peyton, and he won't share that with the world just yet. It's too personal and it's too much of himself, and he can't show anyone that yet.

This novel, about a boy and a comet, is full of metaphor and meaning, and he's sure only one person will really understand it. He wouldn't have it any other way.

Peyton calls him when he's in New York, and she's surprised, though she shouldn't be, to hear her best friend in the background, giggling and calling his name.

But the brunette has always come before the blonde, and this is just another reminder of that fact.

_| I'm still hoping one day I might hear you say  
__I make you feel a way you've never felt before  
And I'm all you need and that you never want more |  
_

She tells him she wants to take a vacation. He's off for the summer, and she has a ton of overtime hours logged that she can use for a vacation, and she really just needs to get out of L.A. for a bit. He tells her just to come home, but she needs more of a break than that. She's thinking Vegas or Austin or maybe even Seattle, but he raises the very good point that you can't get into bars and clubs if you're underage (though they both have very convincing fake IDs) and that those three places would be no fun if she couldn't experience all the music she knows is there.

He suggests Toronto since the drinking age is 19, and she's already decided that's where she's going before he even starts listing off the things that are there to see. She knows the music scene is incredible there, and she's heard from friends that it's a great city, and the summer there is warm and bright and busy.

He doesn't expect her to ask him to go with her.

Of course, he says yes.

She meets him in the lobby of the hotel, and she runs towards him and throws her arms around him before he's even really through the door.

But it's been eight months since she's seen him, and being wrapped in his arms is really all she could think about the entire flight. If she's being honest, it's all she's been able to think about since he agreed to meet her there.

"So what first?" he asks as the bellboy takes his bags. He looks between the guy in the fancy suit, and Peyton, and he raises an eyebrow. "Jeez, how much are they paying you?"

She managed to get a corporate rate at one of the nicest hotels in the city through work. Maybe she stretched the truth a little bit and said it was for the president of the company and not the assistant to the assistant to the A&R director, but she doesn't feel guilty about it at all.

"Not enough," she says with a laugh. "First? First...we nap."

"Nap? Peyton, we just got here!" he points out as they make their way to the elevator.

"I know," she says softly, shrugging her shoulders. "I just missed...being with you."

He just lets out a breath and shakes his head as he throws his arm around her shoulder.

He's missed being with her, too.

They go to a live show at a place called the Reverb that evening, before going to another place called the Horseshoe, and he's a little blown away that there are so many good music venues all within the same few blocks. They listen to singer-songwriters, and one in particular stands out to the both of them.

They've been sipping Jack Daniels on the rocks like the good southerners they are - and also because it's kind of their thing - and he's got a heady, buzzy feeling he's sure she's experiencing, too. The singer starts playing a song called _Lost_ that hits him hard, and when she places her hand on his thigh, he knows she feels it, too.

"Let's dance," he says.

She looks at him like he's crazy, but he raises his eyebrow like a challenge, and she downs her drink while he holds his hand out to lead her to the dance floor.

They sway together to the music, and she can't ignore the way his hand feels on the small of her back, and he can't ignore the way she sighs when a particular lyric speaks to her. It's the same lyric that speaks to him, and when she pulls away to meet his eyes, he knows it's now or never.

So he pulls her a little closer and he presses his lips to hers like he now realizes he's been waiting to do, really, since the last time he kissed her.

They part, and she looks at him, and he's not really sure what to expect.

She smiles.

She smiles and closes her eyes, and he almost sighs his relief. She leans up to speak in his ear, and she says, "let's get out of here."

His heart's somehow beating faster than it ever has.

But it's never felt better.

_| Then you'd say all of the right things without a clue  
But you'd save the best for last  
Like I'm the one for you |  
_

They walk hand in hand in the sticky night air back to their hotel, and she slips her hand into the back pocket of his jeans when they're in the elevator with an older couple, and all he can do is smile and wrap his arm around her a little tighter.

They make it into their room, and as soon as the door's closed, his lips are on hers and she's tugging his tee shirt to bring him closer to her. His hands tangle in her hair like they always used to do when he would kiss her, and he realizes he's missed this entirely too much.

Her skin is impossibly smooth, and her lips are impossibly soft, and the way she murmurs his name in his ear when he's kissing her neck is so impossibly sexy it has him groaning against her skin. He doesn't know why they haven't been doing this since they were 16, and if he weren't preoccupied, he's sure he'd take more time to think of the reasons.

They each mumble things that sound a little bit like _I want you_, and _I need you_, and _you're so sexy_ as they pull articles of clothing from one another, but they stay away from declarations more serious than that.

But then she's laying naked beneath him and he's looking down at her like she's the most precious and perfect thing he's ever laid eyes on. She might be. He brushes the hair back from her face as he smiles down at her and she smiles up at him.

And he says it.

"_God_, I love you."

He kisses her and distracts her before she can tell him that he can't, or that he doesn't, or that he only _thinks_ he does. He kisses her before she can get scared, and they get lost in each other and they make love for the first time. He's pretty sure nothing has ever felt as perfect as she does.

She's laying in his arms beneath the sheets, drumming her fingers over his heart, and he's running his hand up and down her arm. The only sounds filling the room are the their lazy, sated breaths and sirens from the outside world, every now and again.

They're both about to drift into slumber, but she can't let him go to sleep without saying it, and she can't let herself go to sleep without saying it.

"I love you, too."

They go to a baseball game and they go to the beach. She laughs at his formerly-hidden fear of heights when they're at the top of the CN Tower. She kind of loves the worry in his eyes when she walks across the glass floor close to 1,500 feet in the air. He pulls her into his arms when she walks back to him, and he tells her not to scare him like that. She kisses him gently in the room full of strangers and all is forgiven. They shop and wander vintage clothing stores and explore the sights and eat at restaurants they're told by locals are the best.

But all that's during the day.

At night, they find themselves in each other's arms, like that's somehow exactly where they're meant to be.

Neither of them says those words again, but they don't need to. They're implied in their own ways, and that means they don't need to be spoken.

It's five days of just the two of them, and they're each wondering if maybe that's how it should have been all along.

They go their separate ways after their five short days together, and she tells him she'll talk to him soon like they haven't just changed their entire relationship by spending most of their time making love.

But his heart doesn't break this time when he watches her walk through the gate at the airport.

_| You should know that you're just a temporary fix  
This is not rooted with you it don't mean that much to me  
You're just a filler in the space that happened to be free  
How dare you think you'd get away with trying to play me |  
_

He sleeps with a girl.

He hasn't spoken to Peyton in nearly a week because they're both so busy, and the last time they talked, they had a stupid argument and she told him that maybe she just needed a few days and she'd call him later.

A week is certainly _later_.

It's been a few months since their trip, and nothing has really changed from what they were like before those five days in Toronto. He can't decide whether that's good or bad. They aren't together, and they don't really talk about their relationship, though they both know that it's really dangerous not to and they're only going to hurt themselves and probably each other by not having the conversation they really need to have.

There's always, since the end of their senior year - which now feels like forever ago - been the underlying promise of _someday_. _Someday_, they'd work it out. _Someday_, they'd express their feelings. _Someday_, they'd be in the same place at the same time.

_Someday_, it wouldn't be so fucking hard to love her.

He's in New York and in the final stages of publishing the first edition of his novel. He's just chosen cover art and read the the jacket description and the reviews, and it's being well-received before it's even printed.

All he wants to do is share this with Peyton, but when he calls her, he gets her voicemail. When he calls again, he gets her voicemail. He doesn't leave a message either time. She calls him back and she sounds like she's at a party and she says she can't talk, but that she'll call him later.

He's really starting to hate the word _later_.

She hangs up before he's really gotten to say anything, and he sighs as he sits on a stool in the bar at his hotel. He's never really felt so far away from her.

So he calls the one person in the city that he really knows.

Brooke Davis.

She blows into the bar, escaping the flashbulbs outside, and she's dressed far too fashionably, he thinks. He knew her when she was denim jackets and matching jeans, and tank tops from a store in the mall. But tonight, she's in a black cocktail dress, and he feels completely inadequate to her in just his jeans and blue button down shirt. And really? That's kind of the way he's always felt around her.

They fall into easy conversation as she sips gin martinis and he sips scotch, and neither of them mentions the blonde girl on the other side of the country.

Brooke knows that she should have kept in touch more, but she's busy, and Peyton's busy, and they haven't spoken in months. Not so much as a single email or text message since April. They never talked about Lucas anyway. The boy had always torn them apart, so they didn't even really speak his name, unless it was in passing.

So it's not completely out of the question for Brooke to think that Peyton doesn't love Lucas anymore. And with him sitting there, sipping his fifth glass of scotch since she sat down, it's really easy to believe that he doesn't really care that much about Peyton either. In her heart, she probably knows both those things are untrue.

But when his hand falls to her leg and his fingertips lightly caress the inside of her thigh, all the lies get even easier to believe. She's not second best and she never has been, and she could say no if she wanted to, and neither of them will think this is a mistake in the morning.

She drops a few bills on the bar and she gives him the same look she used to give him. He musters a weak smirk, and in his foggy frame of mind this all seems like a good idea.

They get up and walk to the elevator, and they're kissing in his room in a matter of minutes.

He sleeps with a girl.

They both wake up in the morning knowing it was the worst and most self-destructive thing they could have done. Brooke, because she knows her heart will never really heal from the things he's said and done in the past. Lucas, because she's not at all the one he wants, and he hates himself for ever really thinking that she was.

They glance at each other, and they each recognize the shame in the other's eyes, and she wraps herself in the sheet before stepping into the bathroom.

She emerges moments later wearing her dress and pulling her hair up. She's on her phone, arranging for a car to pick her up at the service entrance of the hotel so no one will see her doing the walk of shame.

"Brooke," he says as she's stepping into her shoes.

"Luke, we really don't need to talk about it," she insists seriously.

"No...I mean, yeah, OK," he agrees. "But...Peyton can't find out about this."

She freezes in her place for a moment before she laughs humourlessly and shakes her head.

"Tell me - _please_ tell me - you two aren't together," she pleads, straightening up and putting a hand on her forehead.

"No!" he answers, far too quickly, considering how much he _hates_ that they aren't together. "No. We aren't...but we're...I dunno. We're something. Or we could be. It's...She just _can't_ know."

"You know something, Lucas?" she asks as she violently grabs her purse off the dresser. "I won't say anything. I'm not exactly proud of this either. But...One of these days you're going to have to make a choice."

She's out the door before he can tell her that he already has.

_| But, despite the truth that I know  
I find it hard to let go and give up on you  
Seems I love the things you do |  
_

He didn't expect this. Not even a week after he and Brooke's...whatever it was...there are photos and rumours, and he's getting calls from his publishers. They're thrilled that he's generating some publicity before the book launches. Photos in every trashy gossip rag asking if Brooke Davis snagged herself an intellectual in the form of Lucas Scott, emerging author. She calls him to apologize, saying she had no clue that pictures of the two of them laughing and holding hands and entering a hotel elevator together were being taken.

Haley and Nathan look at him, and he knows they're disappointed. Neither says a word, but Haley shakes her head at him like he should know better. He knows he should, too.

And through it all, the only thing on his mind is Peyton.

She doesn't answer her phone the first four times he calls, and the fifth time, he's cursing himself aloud when she picks up.

"Peyton," he says desperately when he hears her answer. His voice is met with silence, and he doesn't know what that means, but it scares hell out of him. "It's..."

"So help me God, Lucas, if you tell me it's not what it looks like..."

"No," he insists. "I wasn't going to. I just..."

"This is...I don't think you know how much this hurts me, Lucas," she admits.

He knows - _knows_ - she's about to cry, and he's never felt worse in his entire life than he does right now.

"I'm sorry," he says sincerely. "Peyton, I'm so sorry."

"You know? The thing is...I've heard it all from you before," she says, unable to hide her disappointment. "You say you're sorry, and that it was a mistake, and that you want me, but..."

"I _do_ want you!"

"Well, _forgive me_ for doubting it," she says bitterly. There's a moment of silence where she can practically _see_ him trying to find the right words to use on her. She's really not sure she wants to hear them.

"I don't know what to say," he says, shrugging his shoulders.

"I guess you don't have to say anything," she admits quietly. "I'm the idiot that keeps holding onto you like...like there's something to hold onto."

He lets out a resentful laugh because he can't hold it in.

"Are you _really_ hanging on, Peyton? Because you pretty much push me away every time we get close to anything," he points out angrily.

"_I_ didn't sleep with Brooke!" she shouts.

She wonders if she said it just to get confirmation one way or another. There's no hard evidence that he and Brooke actually slept together. Maybe they just talked, or maybe they watched old movies on television, or maybe they...Her mind has been racing since she saw the photos.

She knows in her heart that it's crazy and stupid and naive to think that they didn't spend the night doing what she's been picturing in her mind. It's been torture.

Hearing the confirmation he speaks next doesn't feel any better.

"It just...happened! You and I aren't together, and we're...we're drifting apart," he adds. "I was hurting and you wouldn't talk to me!"

"You don't think it hurts me even more to know that you wouldn't have even _told_ me about this if it hadn't been printed in People magazine!?"

"I wanted...I didn't want to hurt you," he says lamely.

"Funny," she scoffs. "Did you come up with that plan before, or after you fucked my best friend?"

He's never heard her sound more disappointed or disgusted or hurt or angry. He's seen those emotions from her before, but not like this. Never like this.

"God, you'd almost think I _like_ getting my heart broken," she says, finally letting herself cry.

"Peyton, I'm..."

"The worst thing is that I still love you," she admits softly.

She hangs up before he can say another word, and he collapses onto his bed. He feels like he's just been hit by a truck.

She thinks that loving him is _the worst thing_.

The only thing that stops him from drinking an entire bottle of whiskey is that he promised to take care of Jamie that evening.

He's halfway through an old Dr. Seuss book with his nephew on his lap, when he realizes that he never, not once in that call, told her that he loves her.

_| Like the meaner you treat me, the more eager I am  
To persist with this heartbreak and running around |  
_

She won't talk to him, and he can't say he doesn't deserve that treatment.

But it's still slowly killing him.

It's been a month since they last spoke, and even then it was because she called the house to talk to Nathan, and Lucas answered the phone. It was another three weeks before then that they actually had a conversation. Well, that one big argument that had them both feeling like they were falling apart.

He really is lost without her.

His grades have slipped a little - though it's nothing to really be alarmed about yet - and he's been late for practice a handful of times. Not good when you're the head coach. Nathan harshly told him to, "Quit being a bitch, and get your head out of your ass."

But it's just not that easy.

His book is coming out next week and at this point, he wouldn't be surprised if she didn't even read it. He can't blame her, and even if he could, it wouldn't be fair. He's sure they're _both_ blaming him, anyway.

He gets a few advance copies for his friends and family, and he goes to the post office before giving them to anyone else. He packages hers up and sends it to her address. He doesn't include a note or a message like knows he could. The book says all he wants to, and just maybe if it shows up in her mailbox, she'll actually take the time to read his words.

He won't give up on her. He won't give up on _someday_.

|_ And I think that I know things may never change _|

She hasn't spoken to Brooke. The brunette hasn't called, and Peyton can't decide whether or not she would have answered if she had. It hurt her at first, but then she realized it just figured. Any time she's lost Lucas, she's lost Brooke, too. She can't even really deny that she and Brooke's friendship had pretty much fizzled out before 'the incident' anyway.

Lucas, on the other hand, has called every day, at varying times. He's given up on leaving her voicemails, but he hasn't given up on at least trying to get in touch with her. She hasn't told him to stop calling, because she really doesn't want him to. She loves that he still cares enough to want to make things right.

She _still_ loves him.

She tries not to. She even calls Julian one night when she's feeling miserable and his name jumps out at her from the list of contacts on her phone. They meet for coffee, but he tells her he doesn't expect anything. She sighs in relief, and they both laugh. He looks good, she can't deny, but she finally admits to herself what she hadn't been able to admit when they were actually dating.

Julian Baker is not Lucas Scott.

And Lucas Scott is the only one for her.

She's still too mad to answer his calls, and she really doesn't know when she'll be able to. She knows that someday, they're going to have to stop playing this game, it's just really clear that neither of them are ready to give up, no matter how much she might make it seem like she has.

She gets a package in the mail, and when she tears it open, she holds his first novel in her hands, and she tears up, seeing his name in block letters on the cover. There's a beautiful photograph of the River Court at night, and that familiar red Mustang parked at the edge of the asphalt.

She waits until she's inside her apartment to open the cover, and the book opens naturally to the page he's dog eared.

And the dedication reads; _"I'll be seein' ya." _

She can't stop the tears, and she doesn't need to read anything more than that to know that it's about her. She still stays up all night, though, reading the words and hanging onto each and every one of them.

It's beautiful, his prose. It's passionate and sweet and humble and honest. And she's pretty sure that it's sexy, too, but she might be the only one who thinks it.

She flips back to the dedication page and reads those words one last time before going to work that morning.

When her label tells her they're downsizing and she loses her job that day, she takes it as a sign.

_| I'm still hoping one day I might hear you say  
I make you feel a way you've never felt before  
And I'm all you need and that you never want more |  
_

She tosses her keys on her kitchen table, and drops her box of meager personal things from her office, and she does the only thing that makes any sense to do. It's the only thing she's really wanted to do since she last did it, and the only thing she's _really_ wanted to do since yesterday.

She calls Lucas.

"Peyton," he says softly.

And the way he says her name sometimes...

"Did you mean it?" she asks after a moment.

He knows she's read the book, and he closes his eyes and he smiles for what feels like the first time in ages.

"Every word," he assures her. "All of it. Everything."

She knows he's telling the truth, and she closes her eyes and she smiles for what feels like the first time in ages.

"I don't know what to do," she admits quietly. He can hear in her voice that she's crying, and he knows, somehow, that there's more to those tears than just whatever is or isn't going on between them.

"What's wrong?" he asks worriedly.

"I don't have a job, and I..."

"What?" he asks in shock.

"I got laid off," she says before letting out a pitiful laugh. "Today, actually."

"Wow. That's..."

"You're allowed to be happy," she says, cutting him off.

"I just want _you_ to be happy," he tells her, his voice remorseful and apologetic. "Are you OK?"

She cries a little harder, because they've hardly spoken in two months, and he's still taking care of her. She realizes that even though he hurt her, she hurt him right back with the things she said and the way she treated him on the phone when he answered at the house. That she's still worried about him and he's still worried about her, tells her all that she needs to know.

Maybe that's the moment she decides to move home.

"I think so," she says. She goes to her bedroom and reaches for the grey sweater that sits in the top drawer next to her underwear - he smirked when she told him that while they were in Toronto. "Hang on a sec?"

"Mhmm."

She pulls the fabric over her head, and she feels a million times better already. It hasn't smelled like him in far, far too long, and she wonders if that's just the saddest thing.

"I really miss you, Luke," she says after grabbing her phone again.

"I've missed you so much," he sighs.

She lays down on the bed and glances at the photo of the two of them that Haley sent her ages ago in a 'care package'. They're facing each other and smiling, and his arm is draped around the chair she sits on. They look like a couple, and she kind of hates that they never really were one.

"Can you just say it?" she requests. She knows it's vague, but they always do this. They dance around the subject and around each other, and she's tired of it. She wants to hear the words, and she knows that as soon as she does, shell be packing her things. "Can you just...can we stop pretending?"

He smiles and shakes his head. She's pleading with him to say the one phrase he's felt like yelling for the past two months; maybe the past two years.

"I love you." He says it in that tone that she once told him she loved. "I'm so insanely in love with you that I can't stand myself for ever hurting you, and I'm...I'm amazed that you're even talking to me."

She feels like a weight has been lifted from her shoulders that's been there since her junior year of high school. All the uncertainty and misunderstanding and miscommunication and mistakes. It's all gone, just because he's finally really said those words, and he means them the way she wants him to mean them.

"I love you, too," she manages, though there's a lump in her throat. "You have no idea."

"Oh, I think I do," he says, and she can hear that smirk, and even though she can't see it, it makes her stomach flutter a bit.

"I went out with Julian," she says, and before she can continue, he's interrupting her.

"Uh...you tell me you love me, then you mention a date?" he asks. It's not jealous - well, it's not entirely jealous - and she just _knows_ he's got one eyebrow raised.

"It just hit me...I've never really wanted anyone but you."

The tears in his eyes are the kind he's only ever cried over one girl.

_| And we'll say all of the right things without a clue  
And you'll be the one for me and me the one for you |  
_

"I'd say the same thing, but you wouldn't believe me," he says, almost sadly, she notes.

"Yes, I would," she insists softly. "You've just been an idiot."

"An idiot you..."

"Yes, an idiot I love," she says with a giggle. "Even though I've really tried not to, and you've given me lots of reasons not to."

"So why do you?" he asks timidly. He's momentarily afraid of her answer, but he realizes he has nothing to be afraid of. Because it doesn't matter _why_.

"Because...," she starts. "OK look, I'm not going to list all the reasons just to boost your ego."

They both laugh and he's thinking how much he's missed this. The banter and playfulness and just..._Peyton_. Everything she brings to him, and everything she makes him feel.

And he _loves_ to hear that laugh.

He doesn't want to ever not have the chance to hear that laugh.

"So," he says after a few moments, "are you coming home?"

He thinks he already knows the answer - at least he hopes he does - but he still doesn't expect the words she says.

"I never should have left."

"God, I love you," he sighs. "I love you...so much."

She's wondering when the next flight leaves.

"I don't know...I have no clue what to do," she says with a deprecating laugh. "I have no job and no real skills."

"Shut up," he scoffs. "You're one of the smartest people I know."

"_Any_way," she chuckles, "I guess I could apply to schools, or..."

"Schools? Plural?" he asks indignantly. "_One_ school. This little college with a _great_ basketball team. And you're lucky I happen to know someone on staff there."

"Coach Scott, are you gonna pull some strings for little old me?" she asks in a southern drawl. Even when she's teasing him, she's still sexy as hell.

"I'll do anything for you, Peyt," he promises. She lets out a little sound like she always has when he's said things like that.

"God, I have so much to do," she says, already overwhelmed. "I need to pack and everything, and find a place to live."

"You're living with me," he insists firmly.

"Luke..."

"You are."

"You want me to live in sin with you?" she asks teasingly.

And no, he realizes, he doesn't.

He's not sure if he's taking pages from his brother's book, and why he is, if he is. But all he can think is that he won't waste any more time with her. He can't. He's wasted too much already, and he won't do it any more.

"We could get married," he suggests.

She knows he's being 100 per cent serious, and it scares the hell out of her.

But only for a moment.

And then she's thinking that it's irrational, but it's all she really wants.

"Luke, we...we can't just get married," she says, just to say she had.

"Can't we?" he counters.

She's pacing her bedroom, wondering if he's actually proposing to her over the phone when they haven't even seen each other in ages.

"We've never even been a real couple before!" she reminds him. "We...Lucas..."

"You want to, don't you?" he asks confidently. She stops in her tracks. He really does know her better than she wants to admit.

"I...yes, Luke, but..."

"But what?" he asks. Hearing her say yes made him have to press his hand to his heart.

"I just...I'm trying to at least be able to say we talked about it rationally," she says, and he laughs into the phone, and she can only smile.

"Listen, I have a book signing in Vegas next week," he tells her. "Meet me there."

"You're being awfully demanding," she teases. "We..."

"Can?" he suggests. "I know. I just have to get you to stop being rational."

"If we do this..." she says softly, her voice trailing.

"If we do this, I'm going to love you forever," he says seriously, meaning every word. "And you'll be...my wife, Peyton."

She starts crying again, because no words he's ever spoken have ever sounded as good as those words.

"Our parents are going to be pissed," she says, laughing through her tears.

"Is that a yes?" he asks, almost in awe.

"Yes," she whispers.

"Yeah?" He just needs the confirmation, and he almost shouts his excitement when he gets it.

"Where do I need to meet you?"


	3. Daydreamer

**A/N:** Part III. Am I now toying with the idea of a Part IV? Yes. _However_ (and that is a _very_ strong however) I make no promises. Enjoy!

**----**

_| Daydreamer__  
Sitting on the seat  
Soaking up the sun |  
_

All she's thought about all week is what she's about to do.

She's never wavered from her decision. Not for a second.

Her flight gets in before his, somehow. He's just coming in from Pheonix, and sure, L.A. is a little closer, but in true L.A. fashion, nothing is ever on time. Her flight was delayed 45 minutes, and she felt like screaming as she sat in her seat in coach with her carryon tucked beneath the seat in front of her. She wouldn't waste time with checking a bag, and she'd decided to buy a dress there.

She knows it's crazy. He hasn't told anyone, and neither has she, and she'd packed all her things into boxes and sent them to her father's address. She called him and told him she was coming home, and she could hear him smiling through the phone line. He'll be there to receive her things, but he's leaving for a job he can't get out of, so he won't be able to pick her up airport in a couple days when she gets in. She's not sure if that's good or bad.

He doesn't know she's coming in from Vegas.

He doesn't know she's coming in with a ring on her hand.

Her flight was torture. She didn't want to think and choose between snack mix and cookies. She didn't want ice in her water, and she didn't want to purchase a headset for only five dollars. She just wanted to get in the air, and touch down in Vegas and get everything underway.

She just wants to see him.

They'd agreed to meet in the main part of the airport, but they hadn't given any more specifics than that, and she's cursing herself for it now. What were they thinking? They needed to have an exact meeting point! Gate C by the book store, or next to the taxi stand. She's standing in a huge expanse of indoor space, and every head of blonde hair is catching her eye, and she's sure she looks crazy.

She asks herself for the millionth time today how they've even ended up here.

Someone bumps into her, and she spins around as quickly as she can. She wouldn't put it past him to greet her that way, and she won't lie, she'd kind of love it if he did. But this is an older gentleman with khaki shorts on and his socks pulled up to his knees. He apologizes and she mumbles something in return. She runs her hands through her hair and pulls it up off her neck, holding it in place with her fist as she closes her eyes.

Then she feels a hand on her hip, and she doesn't have to turn around to know that it's him. He kisses the back of her neck before she drops her hair and spins around in his arms. She throws her arms around his neck, and he laughs as his twine around her waist.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," she murmurs into his ear.

"You sure?" he asks before pulling away. "I thought I was going to have to fight that old man for you."

"Shut up!" she squeals, swatting his chest. She tries to pull away, but he won't let her go, and he just pulls her closer.

"I love you," he says seriously, locking eyes with her.

He presses his lips to hers, and it's all a little less crazy.

All week, all he's thought about is her, not that it's been much of a change from any other week. All he could do was ask himself why on Earth she was giving him another shot. He didn't dare say the words out loud, but he had to wonder if maybe she was thinking them, too. They'd had a couple really serious conversations, but they'd only begun to scratch the surface of a few of the things they needed to discuss.

But, like she'd told him, they had plenty of time to talk. _'How does forever sound?'_ were her exact words, and his legs almost gave out.

Forever sounded pretty perfect, if you asked him.

He's been on the road, and his editor, David, doesn't know the details of what's going on in Vegas. All Lucas told him was that he needed an extra couple days, and the company - willing to do anything to keep their young author happy - had obliged and moved dates around to accommodate him.

He tries to pull away from her again, but she squeezes him a little tighter, so he squeezes her a little tighter.

They're drawing stares from people in the airport, but she can't find it in her to care. They're a couple, finally, and they're in love, and they're getting married. If ever there's a time to stand in the middle of the airport wrapped up in each other, it's this moment, right now.

"I missed you," he says softly.

"Me too," she says. She moves away a little bit and presses a series of kisses to his lips and cheeks as he does the same to her.

"You're gonna get us kicked out of here," he says with a laugh when her hand slips beneath the shirt at the small of his back to sit just above the waistband of his jeans.

"It'd be worth it," she tells him, and he chuckles and reaches for her bag.

"Come on," he says, and she links her arm through his and leans against his shoulder.

She doesn't say anything, because she can't find the words to tell him how much she loves him, and how much she's missed him, and how happy she is that they're finally together.

They step outside and there's a car waiting for them. It's a luxury sedan that Lucas explains his publishers have paid for while he's in town. She slides in the back seat while he holds the door for her, and he sits next to her, and neither are surprised when they come together and their hands are intertwined and her head rests against him.

"What do you want to do first?" he asks as he checks his watch.

It's just shortly after noon, and the sun is high in the sky, and they really should take advantage of the day and stroll the Strip and experience Vegas.

All she wants to experience is him.

She leans up to speak into his ear, and a chill runs down his spine when her hand falls to the inside of his thigh.

"Hotel," is all she says.

She doesn't need to say anything more, and he's taking a shuddering breath and looking at her with hungry eyes.

They pull up to the Bellagio and she tells him it's too much. He laughs and tells her that it's all paid for by his publishers, and she says that it's a good thing, because they'll need all the money than can get their hands on to start their life together.

_Their life together_.

His girl is saying all the right things and she has no idea.

She can barely contain her annoyance - though Lucas is the only one who notices - when the bellboy insists on following them upstairs with their bags. All she wants is to spend time with her_ fiancée_, and this overeager kid in a polyester suit is taking up precious moments.

Lucas places a bill in the palm of the guy's hand, and Peyton has her arms around her man before the door is even clicked closed. She's standing behind him and her hands are already working on the button of his jeans, and _God_, he loves her.

He turns around and they're on the bed and undressed in record time, and he finds it hard to believe that they've only really done this a handful of times. Well, a few more than a handful. But the point is, they haven't been doing this all along.

He runs his fingers along the line of her jaw, and his eyes lock with hers, and he tells her he's sorry.

"Luke," she whispers, shaking her head.

"Peyton," he says seriously, "I need to know that you forgive me."

"I already have," she insists, bringing her hand up to caress his cheek.

"I'm serious," he tells her, shaking his head.

"So am I," she promises. "So will you please just kiss me already?"

He closes his eyes and smiles, and intertwines his fingers with hers, and it's all a blur from there. It's perfect and wonderful, and they both want to remember every little thing, no matter how impossible that might be. She gasps his name and his head drops to her shoulder, and he knows that this is it for him. This is it for them. They'll always be together.

He falls asleep, something she knew he'd do from the last time they were together. He's on his stomach with the sheets gathered at his waist, and she pulls on the blue button down shirt he was wearing. She sits at the edge of the bed and just looks down at him, and she runs her fingers through his short, messy hair as she wonders how in the world they've finally come together, after all they've been through. She knows it's insane that they're here, but she doesn't care.

He's the only man she's ever needed, and she knows it'll always be that way.

She steps onto the balcony, and she sits on the chair with a glass of water in her hand and soaks up the desert sun. She should be sleeping, because she knows that once he's awake again, he'll be ready to go explore and play and..._get married_. But she's too excited, and there are too many thoughts in her head, and she just couldn't sleep if she tried.

He panics when he wakes up and she's not next to him, and once he's shaken the sleep from his mind, he realizes that it's a panic he loves.

Because she's _supposed_ to be next to him.

He rolls onto his side, and that's when he sees her, all matted hair and glowing skin; endless legs and perfection as the sun beats down on her. He just hopes she's wearing something beneath his shirt, or the way her foot is propped up on the glass of the balcony will be quite revealing.

But he wonders what she's thinking. He wonders if she's thinking of him, or if she's thinking of nothing.

He wonders if just maybe, she's thinking this is the start of their forever.

He steps into a pair of boxers and walks outside, and he kneels beside her. Her hand runs through his hair and settles at the back of his neck, and neither of them says a word. They just sit there together, with his hand caressing her calf, and her fingers toying with his short hair in a way that sends a shiver down his spine.

But after 10 minutes, he can't hold his piece anymore.

"Please, _please_ tell me that you have on underwear," he says pleadingly.

"Oh my God!" she cries, lowering her leg quickly. He winces when he looks up at her, and he notices the colour on her cheeks.

"That's it," he says. He stands and pulls her up by the hand, and he wraps his arms around her waist, lifting her feet off the ground and carrying her into the room.

"Lucas Scott, put me down right now!" she squeals.

"Or what?" he taunts in a low voice. He tries - in futility - to resist the moan in his throat when she wraps her legs around his waist, and he knows he really just needs to get used to her having the upper hand.

She'll always get her way with him.

"Or I won't let you marry me," she says, not at all seriously, and he kisses her until she's begging him to be her husband.

And that's a plea he'll gladly give in to.

|_ He is a real lover _|

When they finally leave their hotel room, she's wearing a simple green sundress and her hair is swept up off her back, and he knows he's probably seen her look more beautiful, but he honestly can't remember a time.

She weaves her fingers through his as they walk, and he pulls her into the first jewelry store they come upon.

It's then that he realizes he'd forgotten all about the ring in his bag that he meant to give her. They got preoccupied and he didn't get down on one knee and explain the sentiment the ring holds and how much he loves her, and how he's known since his mother gave it to him that it was _her_ ring.

But, he thinks, they have plenty of time for that.

She's clutching his hand like she's afraid to look at rings, and he can only laugh at her.

"Peyton, rings come with marriage," he reminds her.

"I know," she says with a nod of her head. "I just...we...we're in Vegas, buying rings and...It's just _so_ like us to do something this insane."

He turns to her and brushes his lips against hers, and says, "you always did make me a little crazy."

"Stop that!" she hisses. "Keep the sexy literary voice to yourself while we're in public."

"I could start reciting Shakespeare right now," he says gruffly, holding her hips a little tighter.

"Well, I'm sure we wouldn't be the first to be arrested in Vegas for indecent exposure," she says, and he just laughs and shakes his head.

They look through the cases, and he explains that they need white gold, but he doesn't tell her why, though she looks at him questioningly at his adamant statement. They choose simple, traditional bands, and they contemplate getting them engraved, but they have a playful argument and they can't decide on what the rings should read, so they leave them blank.

"If anyone asks, there are just too many words to fit on one little band," he says, smirking as he looks at her.

"OK, seriously. Stop," she warns him, unable to hide the pink on her cheeks.

The salesperson just smiles at them, saying that it's not very often they get two rational, sober people in the store buying bands, and that their love is 'palpable'. Lucas kisses Peyton's temple as he slips the rings into his pocket and they head for the door.

"I need a dress," she announces as they step onto the sidewalk.

"Not for what I have planned," he growls, kissing the hinge of her jaw.

"For the wedding," she specifies with a laugh. "I didn't have anything white."

"Well, let's get you a dress," he says, smiling as he kisses her knuckles.

"You can't come with me!" she shouts. "That's...no. You can't. We may be eloping, but...you're not seeing the dress before the day."

"Today could be the day, Peyt," he says with a raised eyebrow.

"Well...you're not seeing it before...before we get ready," she says. "Just...You go play blackjack or poker or whatever guys do in Vegas, while I shop."

"I think guys go see strippers when they're in Vegas, babe," he says teasingly.

"Well, it could _technically_ be your bachelor party," she tells him. She has to laugh at the shocked look on his face.

"You are the coolest wife ever," he says. "But...no. I'm not...I'll just grab a coffee and wait."

"And you are the coolest husband ever," she says upon hearing that he'd rather sip coffee than do what she'd suggested. She leans forward and presses a gentle kiss to his lips before skipping away from him. "An hour, tops! I promise!"

He's a little surprised when she comes rushing towards him 20 minutes later with a bag in her hands.

"That's it?" he asks skeptically. "You bought a dress in that amount of time."

"And shoes." She leans down to whisper in his ear. "And some lingerie for the wedding night."

He's pulling her back to the hotel as he tells her that tonight is the night.

She gets ready in the bathroom while he slips into his suit, and he paces the room as he waits for her to emerge. He doesn't know why he's so nervous, but he's got two wedding bands in one pocket, and an engagement ring in a box in his hand, and it all just feels too good to be true.

She stands in front of the mirror and nervously tucks a curl behind her ear. She smooths out her dress and takes a deep breath, and all she can think is that none of this makes any sense. It doesn't make sense that she flew to Vegas or that he's in the next room. It doesn't make sense that she's just barely 21 and she's standing in a white dress, about to marry a man she's never _really_ been in a proper relationship with.

The only thing that makes any sense to her is that they're together, and so she'll ignore the rest. She's moments away from all she's ever wanted, and so one last look in the mirror, and she pulls open the door and steps into the room.

And that's when Lucas starts to tear up.

The dress is simple - just strapless and cut to the knee, with a crimson red satin sash around the waist that ties in the back - but it's so _her_ that a lump forms in his throat. She's his _bride_. She looks beautiful, and she's just the most perfect thing in the world, and she's all his.

"Lucas," she says softly, smiling and placing her hand on his cheek.

And the way she says his name sometimes...

She doesn't expect him to drop to his knee and open the black box she hadn't noticed he was holding.

She really doesn't expect to recognize that ring.

"Lucas, what...?"

"Peyton, I love you," he starts, shaking his head gently at how simple and _right_ it all is. "And I think I've always known. You've given me so much, and...I feel like I don't deserve it..."

"Luke..."

"But I love you," he repeats. He notices the tear trailing down her cheek, and he knows it's the good kind. "And I've somehow convinced you that we're meant to be together."

"We _are_ meant to be together," she says with a smile.

"So, will you marry me?" he asks, though they both already know the answer.

He just wants to do this right. Well, as right as they can when they're eloping. He wants to propose with the sentimental ring and the proper words, and he wants her to cry as she says;

"Yes."

He stands and gathers her in his arms, and she rests her forehead against his as he slips the ring onto her finger.

"This is the ring Keith..." she starts, toying with the band of the ring with her right hand.

"Yeah," he confirms.

"It's perfect," she whispers, and presses her lips to his.

"You're perfect," he insists. He kisses her again, and he pulls her a little closer to him, just trying to etch the memory of this moment in his mind. "Let's get married."

And so they do.

They have a complimentary gourmet meal at their hotel after the wedding, and then Peyton miraculously wins $500 playing Roulette, though she really has no idea what she's doing. They quit while they're ahead, and go back to their hotel room like they've really been wanting to do since the ceremony.

They spend the next two days - well, one and a half, if you take out time for Lucas' book signing - in their hotel room, eating only from room service with the blinds drawn and as little clothing on as possible.

She flies back to Tree Hill after their three day whirlwind marriage and honeymoon. He's clutching her hand as they stand in the terminal, and he runs his thumb over the rings on her finger.

"This sucks," he pouts.

"Honey," she says, tilting her head to the side, "it's not even two weeks."

"We just got married!" he reminds her needlessly. "I just want to be with you."

"You will be," she promises quietly.

"Forever?" he asks with a smirk.

"Absolutely," she confirms before kissing him gently.

"You gonna be OK?" he inquires as her flight is announced on the loudspeaker.

"Yeah," she says convincingly. "I'll just go to North Carolina and wait for you."

He's reminded for the millionth time that she's absolutely perfect in every way that counts.

In every way.

"OK," he whispers. He kisses her again, and closes his eyes as he presses their foreheads together.

"Go make us some money," she teases, patting his cheek as they walk towards her gate.

"Oh, so I'm your sugar daddy now?" he says with a raised brow.

"One of us has to have a career path, and since it's obviously not me..."

"Hey," he says, stopping and taking both her hands in his again. "It'll all work out. I promise."

She kisses him again and pries her hands from his to pick up her bag.

"I love you, Lucas Scott," she says with a smile as she backs away from him.

"I love you, Peyton Sawyer."

"It's Scott!" she shouts, handing her boarding pass to the attendant at the gate.

He closes his eyes and shakes his head, and he waves at her as she disappears down the corridor.

They've done this too many times, he realizes. She's always walking away from him, and they're always saying goodbye in airports.

But this time, they'll also say hello in one in a couple weeks.

_| Of making up the past and feeling up his girl  
Like he's never felt her figure before |  
_

When her plane touches down in Tree Hill, she feels that sense of happiness and home and comfort that she's missed since she's been away. This has always been her home, even when she didn't realize it.

Her cab pulls up to Lucas' house, and she feels just a little strange. Karen and Lily are traveling with Andy, and though Karen was a little shocked when Lucas called her and told her he'd married Peyton, Lucas let the two women talk, and soon enough, they were both crying. Karen was happy for them, so long as they were serious about each other, and it was clear, in that long phone conversation, that they were. She assured Peyton that it was fine if she stay at the house until Lucas returns from his tour, then they'll go to Gilmore and live together there.

But she's never been in this house without him, and when she steps through the door to his bedroom, it all feels too quiet. The house feels huge and empty, and though in her heart she knows she might just belong there, it's really easy to feel like she doesn't.

She calls him like she said she would, and she gets his voicemail like he said she would, but she tells him she got home safe and that she loves him.

And then it hits her that she has no one else to call.

Other than Nathan and Haley, who she and Lucas had agreed to tell together, she doesn't have a friend to call and share the news with. She doesn't have family in this town, or high school friends she's kept in touch with. She can't call Brooke, and she probably wouldn't if she could.

She sets her phone on the table next to Lucas' bed, and she sheds her clothes and draws herself a hot bath. She pulls on one of his old tee shirts and realizes there's no food in the house other than a few bottles of water and some stale cereal. She feels like an impostor.

But then she sees the rings on her finger, and she smiles to herself, and she thinks that just maybe this is where she's belonged all along.

She orders Chinese from her favourite place, and she listens to some of Karen's jazz records as she looks through old photographs of her husband - and it's still totally weird to call him that.

Countless photos of him with his mom and Keith. He's a 10-year-old with a little Haley James. He's a 13-year-old clutching a basketball, or a junior in his Ravens uniform for the first time. She sees herself in the background of that photo, and she smiles. That was the night he told her that her art mattered. That was the moment she really let herself start to feel for him; to _fall_ for him.

There are photos of him and his brother, and of him and his sister, and of him with the River Court guys.

She's surprised to come upon three whole pages of photos of her and him together, and she smiles to herself. Maybe Karen knew it all along, too.

Lucas calls her that night, and they talk for an hour, like they didn't just spend three days together. He speaks in a low tone when she tells him she's laying on his bed in his shirt, and he tells her that she's fulfilling fantasies without even knowing. They say I love you before they hang up, and she falls asleep on what has always been her side of the bed.

She bumps into Deb at the grocery store the next day, and she tucks her left hand into the pocket of her jacket as they chat. Deb tells her to come by Tric or the café, and that if the young woman wants to tend bar or pour coffee, she'd be happy for the help. Peyton insists she'll be by, and then explains she's staying at the Roe home until Lucas returns. Deb excitedly asks if Peyton and Lucas are together, and Peyton doesn't confirm or deny it, but the blush on her cheeks tells the older woman all she needs to know.

She hesitantly slips off her rings the next day just after noon when she gets bored in the house, and she heads for the little café in the middle of town. She dishes out sandwiches and makes coffee, and she and Deb joke and laugh, and Deb tells Peyton she's glad she's come home, and that she never really thought Peyton belonged in L.A.

It seems everyone knew that but her.

After a week of being alone, it all starts to get to her. She wants him with her, and it's silly, but every little noise has started to scare her. She's gotten less and less comfortable being in his house alone, and she's tried everything to distract herself. Books and music don't work, and neither does drawing. She helps out at Tric one night, but she comes home to a dark, empty house, and she's back to where she started out.

She calls him late that night, and he's in Minneapolis. She knows he'll be in bed, but she needs to hear his voice.

"Hello?" he grumbles sleepily.

"Hi," she says softly.

"Peyton? What...? What's going on?" he asks worriedly. She can tell he's already been woken completely, no doubt just from panic alone.

"Nothing," she says, trying to smile. "I just missed you."

"I'd believe you if you weren't crying," he tells her seriously. "What happened?"

"Nothing," she assures him. "Really, I'm fine. I was just...This house...Tree Hill...it's not the same without you here, and I feel like...like I shouldn't be in this house."

"You belong in that house," he says sweetly. "My home is your home."

"But you aren't here," she says, and though she's trying hard not to make it sound like an accusation, it still comes out as one. "Sorry, I don't mean..."

"Hey, I know," he says. Just the fact that she knows he's smiling puts her at ease. "I'll be home in a few days."

"I know," she whispers. "I just love you, that's all."

"I love you, too," he says softly.

"Go back to sleep," she insists as she wipes her cheeks. "I'm sorry I called so late."

"You don't ever have to apologize for calling me, Peyton," he says, and she laughs a little. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, OK?"

"OK," she says. "Bye, Luke."

She hangs up and takes a deep breath, and then blows out the candle next to the bed.

Suddenly it doesn't seem so dark and empty in this house alone.

He gets home a day early, and he scares the hell out of her when he walks into the house quietly and wraps his arms around her while she stands in the kitchen doing dishes. She screams, then swats his chest, then kisses him as he laughs at her reaction.

The chore is quickly forgotten, and he's pulling her towards the bedroom within minutes.

And what she's learned since Vegas, and what she's reminded of every time he kisses her, is that every time they make love, it feels like the first time.

And if that never goes away - that tingle in her spine every time she feels his fingertips trail down the bare skin of her side - she thinks that would be just fine with her.

_| A jaw dropper__  
Looks good when he walks  
He is the subject of their talk |  
_

The drive to his college town and the little house he shares with Nathan and Haley is quiet, but not because he wants it to be. She's nervous, he can tell, but he knows - and she probably knows, too - that if anyone will understand the choices they've made, it's Nathan and Haley. Those two are in no position to judge anyone's rushed marriage.

"Hey," Lucas says as they pass the city limits sign, "take a breath, OK? You're scaring me."

"I just haven't seen them in...what, almost a year and a half? And now we're married, and...God, my ex-boyfriend is my brother-in-law, Luke!" she says desperately. "I have a nephew. A nephew!"

"Peyton," he says, shaking his head as he weaves his fingers through hers. "It's just Nathan and Haley. You know them. It's not like you're meeting anyone for the first time."

She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, and she raises their hands to kiss his knuckles. He's right and she knows that she's just overreacting.

Moments later, they're pulling into the driveway of the house, and Nathan and Haley are on the porch when they hear the car doors slam.

Lucas didn't tell Peyton that Nathan and Haley don't know she's there.

"Peyton!" Haley cries, rushing down the steps with Jamie in her arms. "What are you doing here? What's going on? Why are you with this idiot?"

Peyton sees Nathan smile and shake his head as she wraps her arms around Haley, and his eyes move to the ring she knows he's already caught sight of.

"Because...because," Peyton stutters, glancing at Lucas.

"Because...we need to go inside," Lucas states. He looks to his brother, and Nathan just nods his head.

Lucas carries their bags up the steps and Peyton walks into the house she's never been in before, but she'll call home for the next little while. She grasps Lucas' hand as they join Nathan and Haley in the living room, and Haley's eyes go wide when she sees their joined hands.

"Finally, you two get it together!" she states.

Nathan doesn't say a word. He just pulls his son onto his own lap and out of his wife's arms, because he knows she's about to freak out.

"Actually," Lucas says, looking to Peyton with a smile, "we got married."

Nathan smiles, and Haley's jaw drops and she shakes her head slightly. Peyton bites her lip nervously and holds up her left hand, and Haley takes a deep breath and rushes forward to hug her best friend and her sister-in-law.

"Seriously?" she squeals, taking Peyton's hand in hers. Tears shine in her eyes when she recognizes the ring, and that prompts the same from Peyton. "Oh...wow. This is..."

"Yeah," Peyton whispers.

Nathan comes over and the men share a hug, then he pulls Peyton into his side and kisses the top of her head.

"Welcome to the family, Sawyer," he says with a smile, and she rolls her eyes at him. "We all knew it'd happen someday."

They talk about Vegas and the ceremony, and Lucas shows photos they took from the day. They eat pizza and drink wine, and Jamie sits on Peyton's lap and twirls her curls around his little fingers. Lucas kisses Peyton's temple as she recalls her week and a half with only Deb as her ally in their hometown, and they share Karen's reaction to the news, which no one is surprised was favourable. Haley insists that Karen has always had a soft spot for Peyton, and they often talked about the two blondes' inability to just admit their feelings to one another.

Peyton shadows Lucas the next day as he runs his practice and returns calls and emails in his fancy head coach's office. He's missed three games in the two and a half weeks since he's been away, and he's missed it. They have a game the following night, and Peyton can't wait to see him in action again. She heads home as he goes to his afternoon class, and she and Nathan have a little time to chat one-on-one while Lucas and Haley are out.

They entertain Jamie and talk about how it all came together. He asks her if she can really forgive Lucas for sleeping with Brooke, and she raises an eyebrow and reminds him that Haley forgave _him_ for sleeping with Brooke. She tells him the same thing she told Lucas; that the two of them weren't together, and hadn't made any promises, and as much as it hurt, he really didn't owe her anything. He tells her that Haley said the same thing to him, and they both laugh at their messed up history. She asks if Haley and Brooke have kept in touch, and he says that they haven't heard with Brooke since a few months after she moved to L.A. Peyton's not surprised.

Peyton isn't a jealous woman. Well, not usually.

But as she and Haley sit in the stands surrounded by girls who are there only to scout attractive players, she has to clench her fist when she hears them making vulgar and suggestive remarks about 'Coach Scott'.

"Peyton," Haley says softly, "I'm married to the star player. I know."

"Could they be more obvious?" Peyton hisses. "God."

"The ring means he doesn't care," Haley reminds her.

She knows it's true, so she sighs dramatically and rolls her eyes, and she clutches hands with her friend at tip-off, and they take turns holding Jamie.

They both rush onto the court after the win that sends the team to the playoffs, and Peyton flies into Lucas' arms and kisses him with her feet raised off the ground.

He doesn't question it - he'd be crazy if he complained - but later when they're laying in bed and he brings it up, she shrugs her shoulder and tells him that he's a hot commodity.

He tells her he doesn't see anyone but her, and kisses her until she believes him.

She thinks that maybe she always did.

_| He would be hard to chase  
But good to catch, and he could change the world  
With his hands behind his back, oh |  
_

Lucas and Nathan win their second Division II title in as many years, and Lucas is named coach of the year, and he thanks his wife in his acceptance speech. She blushes from her place and she feels those butterflies in her stomach that she can remember feeling as a teenager.

She's his wife.

For so long, she was his friend. His buddy. The girl he'd go to for advice about his relationship with someone else. Somehow, they've passed all that, and she's the one wearing his ring. She's the one who falls asleep next to him every night, and she's the one he _loves_.

But it's not all easy.

He's busy with classes, and she couldn't start so late in the semester, and after a long talk with Lucas, she decides that she'd be crazy to start school now anyway. It'd mean that she would have to stay for two more years after he's done, and they both want to return to Tree Hill sooner rather than later.

So she gets a part time job at a local art supply store, and she schedules her shifts around Nathan, Haley and Lucas' classes so that she can take care of Jamie when none of them can.

The truth is, Peyton feels a little out of place as the only one in the house not getting an education. Lucas and Haley talk about the philosophy class they share, and Nathan talks about the business courses he takes.

And she sells paintbrushes.

But it's just temporary, and once they're back in Tree Hill, she'll decide what she wants to do with her life.

Nathan and Haley are on their weekly date night, and Lucas has a study group he can't reschedule, so Peyton's home with the little boy she loves too much for words. He calls her _aunt Peyton_, and he's recently started telling her that he loves her, and her heart melts every time she hears it. Of all the things she does, taking care of Jamie is the easiest - second only to loving Lucas.

Lucas knows Nathan and Haley are still on their 'date' when he doesn't see their SUV in the driveway, but he really doesn't expect what he walks in on.

He expects laughter and Thomas The Tank Engine, or Sesame Street, or Peyton trying to explain why one colour in the 64 pack of crayons is better than the other to shade the grass.

Instead, he walks in to complete silence.

She's laying on the sofa with Jamie's little body tucked into her side against the back of the couch. Her hand cradles his tiny arm and the light bounces off the rings on her finger. Jamie's got his little hand splayed on her collarbone.

And the both of them are smiling in their sleep.

Lucas is transported to a time in the future when the blonde baby in her arms will be theirs, and he feels his heart constrict in his chest. This is just almost the perfect picture. Almost.

He kneels next to the sofa and runs his hand over Jamie's head as he kisses Peyton's forehead. She makes that little sound she always makes when she's just woken up, and she blinks a few times and smiles a little wider.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep," she murmurs softly, feathering her fingers through her nephew's hair. She really didn't, she's just been really tired lately.

"It's OK," he says, smiling at her. "How was your night?"

"Good," she tells him. "We had mac and cheese and watched The Little Mermaid."

"Uh oh," he laughs. "Don't tell Nathan."

"Oh, come on. It's harmless," she says, looking down at the little boy in her arms.

"Here," Lucas says, hooking his hands beneath the boys arms. "I'll put him down."

He takes the boy down the hall, and Peyton feels a tear forming in her eye as she watches him with the toddler in his arms.

And the onslaught of emotions over something so simple has her admitting that maybe there's more to the fatigue and how tempermental she's been lately.

Lucas steps back into the room and drapes his arm around her as they sit on the sofa.

"So I have news," he says, before she can talk to him about the very thing that's had her close to hyperventilating for the last five minutes.

"Oh yeah?" she asks.

"They just green-lit me for another book," he says, and her eyes go wide as she smiles. "I know the last one just came out, but I have officially been signed for another one."

"Luke!" she says excitedly, wrapping her arms around him. And now she's crying again. "That's so great."

"Hey," he says as they pull away and he sees her tears. "What's this?"

"I'm just happy for you," she says.

But he's not buying it. She wipes her face and avoids eye contact, and when she looks up at him again, she knows he's caught her in her lie.

"Tell me," he demands seriously.

"I was just thinking...I've been...not myself lately," she says softly, looking down at their hands. "I've been really tired and moody."

"You don't have to tell me that," he says with a smirk, and she glares at him. "So?"

"So..."

"Oh," he says, interrupting her as he finally clues in. "Are you...Are you late?"

"Well, no," she says softly. "But I'm not...not till next week, and I just feel...I feel it."

"I hate to tell you, honey, but...it doesn't work like that," he tells her. He realizes it's stupid, though, because who is he to tell her how she feels? "We should...We should go to the doctor."

"Yeah," she whispers. "I'm just kind of freaking out right now."

"Hey, it's OK," he assures her. "We'll deal with it."

"Deal with it?" she asks, pulling away from him a bit.

"What? No!" he says loudly, before remembering there's a sleeping child in the house. "No. I meant...That's not what I meant. It's way too soon for this, but...we can handle it, Peyton."

"Way too soon? Lucas, we're married," she reminds him.

"I know that, but I'm not done school, and...It's...this is fast," he says, hoping she'll see his side.

"Well, maybe if you're lucky, we won't have a baby any time soon," she says angrily, getting up and walking to their bedroom. She closes the door behind her, and he's left wondering what the hell just happened.

She's crying as she packs some of her things into a bag, and she doesn't even know why she's doing it. She can't get through this without Lucas, but she's ready to run away from him because she's scared, and she's blowing things out of proportion.

But all she can do is wonder why he's not excited.

Why is he not even at least smiling a bit at the prospect of them having a child together? Why does he seem terrified? He's supposed to be her rock. He's supposed to be the strong one who points out the silver lining, and all he did was voice all her fears. He didn't sooth her like he normally does, and he didn't tell her it would all be alright.

Or did he?

Either way, she didn't hear it, so he obviously didn't try hard enough.

So she pulls on her jacket and she grabs her keys.

It's no surprise that he's standing right outside their bedroom door when she pulls it open, and he looks at her like she's tearing his heart out when he sees the bag in her hand.

"What are you doing?" he asks urgently. "Where are you going?"

"Tree Hill," she says simply, brushing past him.

"Wait," he insists, grabbing her elbow, which she wrenches from his hold. "Don't just walk away right now, OK? I...we need to do this together."

"Do what together, Lucas? Find out if our baby is about to ruin your life?" she seethes as she stuffs her feet into her shoes.

"I never said that!" he says angrily. "I never said anything like that!"

"You didn't have to," she tells him. "I just...can't be here right now, OK?"

"Why not? Why can't you be with me so we can...God, I just need you," he says, standing in front of the door so she can't leave.

"I..."

"You need me, too," he insists. "Whether you want to admit it right now or not."

"_I_ need the Lucas Scott who would hold me in his arms and tell me he's here for me. Not the Lucas Scott who's worried about how my problems affect his life," she says, and a tear falls down her cheek.

And he stops for a moment, wondering if he's really the guy she just described.

He's not, he realizes, and he'll do anything to prove it to her.

"This baby," he says, placing his hand on her stomach before she can move away, "is not a _problem_. And it's not yours. It's _ours_."

She really wants those words to make everything OK again.

But they just _don't_.

She kisses his cheek and moves away from him.

"Peyton," he says desperately as she pulls the door open.

"Maybe this is all too fast. Marriage and...all of it," she says, wiping her face. "I love you, Lucas. I just...I need to not be near you right now."

She's out the door and he doesn't say anything else to try to make her stay.

_| You can find him sitting on your doorstep  
Waiting for a surprise  
And he will feel like he's been there for hours  
And you can tell that he'll be there for life |  
_

Lucas waits an excruciating hour for Nathan and Haley to return home.

One hour, and he spends the entire 60 minutes trying to convince himself that he isn't losing her again.

He's halfway out the door as soon as they step inside, and when Nathan calls after him, all he says is that he's going to Tree Hill. When Haley peers into Lucas and Peyton's empty room, and there's no sight of Peyton in the house, she knows that Lucas is going after his wife.

Both Nathan and Haley have to wonder what happened in the few hours since they left Jamie in Peyton's care.

Lucas drives far faster than he knows he should. In fact, at one point, he has to force himself to slow down. But he just needs to get to Tree Hill and talk to Peyton and somehow convince her that he's the man she needs him to be. He is that guy, even if he doesn't do the best job of showing it sometimes.

It's late when he pulls up to his house. It's after midnight, and he knows she isn't there, since her car isn't in the drive, but he runs through the hall anyway, just to be sure.

He doesn't even bother getting back into his car. He just starts running through the dark streets of their hometown towards the little bungalow her father now owns. He knows it's stupid to run as hard and as fast as he is, and if she could see him, she'd scold him for pushing himself so hard.

So he slows down.

He slows down because he's no good to her if he's not around for her, and it hits him in that moment that it's not about him. None of it is about him. It's about _them_. Him and her, and any baby they might have between now and...forever.

She's not mad at him because she's scared and he wasn't saying the right things. She's mad at him because he was really only thinking of himself. He didn't ask how she was feeling or what she was thinking or if she'd be OK if they did have a baby. He immediately hates himself for it.

He walks the rest of the distance to the house. He's her husband, and he won't leave her, and she deserves more than his selfish actions and words.

So he'll stop.

He'll stop running, and he'll stop thinking of only himself, and he'll stop that little voice in the back of his head that's telling him to doubt that the two of them can get through anything together. They've already been through more together than any other couple he knows, and there's no reason to believe that they can't handle anything else that comes their way.

And during those last few blocks, all he can think is that Tree Hill is the perfect place to raise a baby. He finds there are tears in his eyes at the prospect of being a father, because he _wants_ to be a father. Whether that happens in nine months or nine years, he'll be OK. He'll be a great father, and she'll be a great mother, and he'll hold her hand and say all the right things any time she needs him to.

And then he's knocking on the door of the house her car is parked in front of. The lights are off and he doesn't know if Larry's home, but he doesn't give a damn. He keeps knocking and saying her name until the porch light switches on and he hears the lock click.

"Luke," she says tiredly.

Her eyes are puffy and she looks exhausted, but he notices when she rubs her eye that she's still wearing her rings, and he breathes a sigh of relief. He's not sure why he thought she'd take them off, but he's thankful that she hasn't.

"Peyton...I..."

"You're sweating," she observes worriedly. "Why are you sweating? Where's your car? Did you _run_ here?"

"No! I...yeah, part way...but I walked the rest of it," he says quickly. "I just..."

"What the hell are you thinking?!" she cries before lowering her voice when she recalls what time it is. "You could have...God, Lucas, you're...This is exactly the problem!"

"What?" he asks confusedly. He knows she's about to say all the things he's been thinking the entire distance from his house to this one.

"I told you I can't be around you right now, and you just went and ignored me. No surprise there!" she says, throwing her hands in the air. "You just do what _you_ want. All the time, Luke!"

It's a blanket statement and she knows that, but something flashes in his eyes that lets her know that maybe he feels it's true.

"I'm going to close this door," she warns him in an icy tone. "And we'll talk when I'm ready to talk."

"Peyton..."

"Go home, Luke."

She closes the door, and he sits himself down right there on the porch and leans his back against the side of the house.

Home is where she is, so he'll be where she is.

The porch isn't the most comfortable place he's slept. His legs go numb, and he's pretty sure there are a lot of animals walking around in the dark, and it's not exactly warm. But he curls his arms beneath his head and he grabs a couple hours of sleep because there's nothing else to do. He won't plead with her any more to talk to him, since she's made it perfectly clear that she doesn't want to right now, and he'll respect that even if he doesn't like it.

He wakes as the sun rises, and he shivers. It's cold out. It's _really_ cold out. Neighbours are looking at him like he's crazy, or a vagrant, or like he's casing the house and going to break in, but he offers friendly waves and says hello to people that pass.

And he'll sit right there on the porch looking like a crazy person as long as it takes.

Peyton wakes up and hears a conversation going on outside the door, and when she checks the time, she sees that it's 7:30. She has no idea what's going on, but she peers out the window and she sees her husband talking with Whitey Durham on the steps of the house.

"...The thing is, son, women are gonna do whatever they want," Whitey says with a smile, patting Lucas on the back. "You just have to trust they know what they're doing. And you know what? They usually do."

"She's really mad," Lucas sighs.

"Oh, I remember her temper," Whitey says, and Peyton laughs to herself as she eavesdrops. "The first months are the hardest. You'll sort it out."

"Thanks, Coach," Lucas says.

"Just don't screw it up even more," Whitey warns sternly. "You better have one hell of an apology for that girl. I swear, I don't know what the hell's wrong with you Scott boys..."

She closes her eyes as she wonders the exact same thing, and heads to the kitchen in her pajamas to make some coffee.

Lucas can hear Whitey's words ringing in his ear. He sits on the front step, trying to think of the perfect words to say to her to prove that he isn't just doing what he wants, and that even if he is, all he wants is her. Certainly she can't hold that against him.

He's so lost in thought that he almost doesn't hear the door open behind him. He just stares at her the as she puts the mug of coffee in his hands and drapes the blanket around their shoulders while she sits down next to him.

"I was an ass," he says softly. He has to resist the urge to cry out in victory when she rests her head against his shoulder.

"You're freezing," she observes. "I can't believe you stayed out here all night."

"I'll always be here for you, Peyton," he promises, taking her hand in his. "I can't be someplace you aren't."

As soon as he's said it, he thinks it's the most imperfect thing he's ever said, and if his professors hear him say something so strange, they'd certainly reconsider passing him.

But then she kisses his cheek, and he doesn't care about double negatives or conventionally constructed sentences.

"I'm sorry," he says softly. "I didn't even...How are you feeling?"

And that was exactly what she wanted all along. Just some indication that he wasn't just thinking of himself and his own future. She knew on some level that he would always have her in his mind, but he hadn't shown that when she needed it most, so it had been hard to believe.

"I'm sorry I walked out," she says, and he shakes his head to let her know that he doesn't need her apology. But she still wanted to say it. "I'm...scared."

"You don't have to be scared," he says with a smile, turning his body to hers a little bit. "We're Lucas and Peyton, OK? We can do this."

She really wants to smile, because he has such strong faith in them. But being an unemployed, married, pregnant 21-year-old was never quite the picture in her mind.

And then he looks at her as he holds her hand and toys with the rings on her finger, and she realizes he's right. They're _Lucas_ and _Peyton_. There's no reason to believe they won't be alright, no matter what.

"If I'm pregnant, Luke..." she says, her voice trailing as she looks down at their hands.

"Then our baby will be beautiful."

There's a confidence in his voice that puts her at ease, and that's exactly what she's been searching for.

"She will be," she whispers.

"She?" he asks with a smirk.

"Yeah," she says, looking up at him with a tear in her eye. "A daughter."

He kisses her gently, like it's killed him to have gone so long without kissing her. And she lets him kiss her, because it _has_ been killing her to have gone so long without kissing him.

"Let's get you off the porch," she says, and he laughs. "You're creeping out the neighbours."

_| Daydreamer  
With eyes that make you melt  
He lends his coat for shelter |  
_

She decides to stay in Tree Hill for a couple days. She assures him she's not mad at him, and he believes her. Her father is coming home for the weekend, and Lucas has finals coming up, so she tells him he should take advantage of the quiet and study while she's away.

The doctor won't have the results for a couple days, but Peyton tells Lucas she'll let him know as soon as she gets the call. She kisses him before he gets into his car, and she wraps her arms around herself while she watches him drive away.

And she already hates being without him.

She spends a full day with her father, but he can tell that she misses her husband, so he tells her to get out of his house and go home. He says he'll see her soon anyway, and she kisses his cheek as she smiles and runs to pack her things. She calls Lucas, but he insists she wait until the morning to drive back, and she can't argue with him; he won't let her. She tells him he's being stubborn, but she agrees, and she can hear the smug smile he wears when he says _'good_.'

She's halfway between Tree Hill and Gilmore when she gets the call from the doctor, and she's in a daze the rest of the drive. She should have pulled over. She should have stopped the car and processed it and tried to decode her reaction.

The truth is, though, she doesn't really _have_ much of a reaction yet.

"Hey, Peyton," Nathan says, looking away from the game on the television when she walks through the door.

"Lucas in our room?" she asks.

"Yeah," Nathan says, wondering what's with the lack of a greeting and why she's white as a sheet. He can only shake his head when she heads down the hall without another word.

Lucas is reading on his bed when she walks into the room, and she closes the door behind her. He puts down his book and smiles at her, and she lays down next to him without a word.

"What's wrong?" he asks knowingly.

She looks at him and smiles, and she kisses him.

"Nothing," she says. He's about to question it, so she speaks before he can. "We're going to have a baby."

He freezes for a moment, and then she sees a smile she's never seen before, and she's tearing up as he pulls her into his arms.

"Really!?" he asks excitedly, his eyes shining as it sinks in. "I mean...Really?"

"Yeah," she says as her chin trembles. "The doctor just called."

"I love you," he says, placing his hand on her stomach. She places her hand over his and she kisses him when she sees the shimmer of unshed tears in his eyes. "God, I love you."

"You too," she whispers. "Can we really do this? We've only been married a couple months, Luke."

She knows the answers to the question, and it wouldn't matter if they weren't married at all. They're having a baby, and she is terrified, but in a really good way.

"We can," he insists, brushing the tear from her cheeks. "We are."

"I'm still scared," she admits quietly. "I don't...I really don't know how to do this."

"Me neither," he says, kissing her temple. "But we'll figure it out together, OK?"

She lets out a sigh and leans over to kiss him sweetly.

_There's_ the man she loves.

"OK."

Everyone takes the news surprisingly well. Karen cries and tells them she's too young to be a grandmother, but that she can't wait to hold her first grandchild. She insists that she and Andy are there for them no matter what they need. Haley tears up, and Nathan offers happy congratulations. Jamie doesn't quite understand the concept, but is blissfully happy since everyone else around him is. Larry had been aware of the possibility, and tells Peyton that she and Lucas have his support no matter what.

They move back to Tree Hill for the summer when classes let out, and they find a note on the coffee table of Lucas' home from Karen, telling them that the house is now theirs, and they should consider it a wedding gift. Peyton cries and blames it on the hormones, but they both know she would have cried either way. Karen Roe is nothing if not generous.

They're strolling the beach one night and playfully throwing around baby names. Lucas suggests William, Charles, John, and Jerome for a few of his favourite authors, and Peyton suggests Dee Dee, Johnny, Jimmy, and Robert for a few of her favourite musicians.

They don't talk about girl's names, because they both honestly believe they'll have a girl, and joking about the name doesn't seem right.

Peyton has Lucas' sweater draped around her shoulders, and his arm around her waist. What she's learned in the few weeks since they've been back, is that she really, _really_ loves Tree Hill.

"I want to stay here," she says softly, almost holding her breath as she waits for his reaction.

"Yeah?" he asks absently.

"It's home, Luke. I know you have school and stuff, and it's all...complicated, but...I want to raise our baby in our home," she insists, and he turns to her when he sees that she's completely serious. "I don't want the first year of her life to be in a rental. I want those memories at _our_ house, Luke."

"I'll transfer here," he says with a shrug.

She stops walking and he turns so he's standing in front of her.

"You'd do that?" she asks, in awe that he's so willing to give it all up. "What about coaching? What about Nathan and Haley?"

"Coaching is just...a perk," he tells her. "And if anyone would understand, it's Nathan and Haley."

"I can't ask..."

"You didn't ask," he says, smiling as he pulls her into his arms. "I'll call the university here tomorrow."

She leans forward and kisses him, and he makes a sound when she catches him off guard. She's surprised he'll do this for her - for them - but it's really a no brainer. He agrees with everything she said anyway, and he won't be away from her. It just makes sense.

"I hope our baby gets your eyes," she says softly, resting her forehead against his.

"Why?" he asks in confusion. "I love your eyes."

"Oh, you have no idea how beautiful you are, Luke," she says, completely seriously.

"Stop," he scoffs.

"No," she says with a slight laugh. "I'm serious. I...you're gorgeous. Our baby would be lucky to have your eyes."

"Well, if the rest of her is like you, I'll be OK with that," he says, brushing his lips against hers.

"Even the temper?" she asks jokingly.

"Especially that," he insists. "I can't see your daughter not having a little sass in her."

"Our daughter," she corrects, slipping her hand into his as they resume walking.

And it hits him again that he's married to the love of his life, and she's carrying his child.

He really doesn't know what more he could ask for.

_| Plus he's there for you when he shouldn't be  
But he stays all the same, waits for you  
Then sees you through |  
_

"Sure, Luke. _Stare_ at the shirt. _That'll_ make it fit," she says harshly, pulling the tight cotton up over her head and throwing it at him.

Pregnancy looks good on Peyton.

Peyton doesn't think so.

In fact, she's not exactly the most joyful expectant woman ever.

It's been nine months of Lucas trying to placate her without speaking to her patronizingly, and at least six months of listening to her complain about her wardrobe - or lack of.

Lucas, of course, thinks she's beautiful, and she believes him every once in a while. Her figure has filled out, though she's still slender legs and arms, and she doesn't even look pregnant from behind. Her cheeks are pink and her hair shines, and she looks just...sweet.

But it's an interesting juxtaposition to her actual moods, which have been pretty volatile.

Lucas transfered to the local university, and took on an assistant coaching job with the Ravens, and has been there for Peyton through every weird craving or crying fit over her water being too cold. He'll never forget how she rushed into his practice the morning the baby kicked for the first time, or how they'd both just smiled at each other when they found out the baby is a girl.

But now she's a week overdue, and they both just want it to happen already.

"Here," he says, pulling a top from the closet that he knows will fit her. He caresses her arm and kisses her temple as he places the fabric in her hands, and then he notices her start to tear up.

"Sorry," she manages when he looks at her with a helpless expression on his face. "I'm just...sick of being pregnant, Luke."

She sits down at the end of the bed in just her jeans and bra, and it's all he can do not to yell and tell her how gorgeous she is. He kneels in front of her and places his hands on the outside of her thighs.

"Honey, any day now, OK?" he promises. "Any day, and then we'll get to bring her home."

"How come you're so calm," she pouts, and he just chuckles and wipes her cheeks.

"I'm not. But I need to keep you calm," he tells her. "I'm just as impatient as you are."

"Why isn't she ready yet?" she asks, laughing at herself as soon as she's said the question.

"She's already as stubborn as you are," he says, and she swats his arm.

They hear the front door open, and Lucas stands, leans down and kisses Peyton's forehead, and pulls his own shirt over his head.

"That's mom," he says. "You sure you're OK for a couple hours while I run to this meeting?"

"I love that you assume that _any_thing is going to happen," she says in frustration, reaching for his hand so he can help her up.

"What happened to positive thinking?" he asks, watching as she pulls on her shirt.

"Everyone else can be positive. I'm going to keep being the mean one. Maybe that'll scare her out of here," she says, and they both laugh.

She kisses him goodbye and sits down on the sofa with Karen, and the two women talk for a while about anything but babies and pregnancy.

It's not even an hour after Lucas has left that Peyton's water breaks.

_| There's no way I could describe him  
What I said is just what I'm hoping for |  
_

Thankfully, the labour goes more smoothly than the rest of the pregnancy, and Peyton jokes that the girl took her time getting ready to come out, then wanted to rush it. Lucas tells Peyton the baby is exactly like her already, and she tells him she'd hit him if she didn't have their daughter in her arms.

Anna Haley Scott has clear blue eyes and fine blonde hair, and she's already got a temper.

Lucas and Peyton learn in the first week that Anna's home that she has her schedule, and she likes to stick to it, and she'll scream until she's red in the face if she's not fed right on time. Lucas is smitten and Peyton feels like crying every time she sees him holding their daughter and hears him mumbling to her about whatever it is he talks to her about.

After two weeks, Peyton has to beg Lucas to start going to every class - not just the 'vital' ones - and to practice.

He doesn't want to leave his girls, and Peyton loves him for that, but he needs to finish college. It's already been hard enough for him, dealing with a pregnant wife, and now that he has the added bonus of midnight feedings, he knows he'll have to work twice as hard to get the same grades.

But he wouldn't change it for the world.

Coming home to his wife and daughter is always the best part of his day.

He steps through the door after his after-school practice, and Peyton's got the baby in one arm and the phone wedged against her shoulder, and Anna's crying for the bottle Peyton's desperately trying to prepare with one hand. Lucas walks to Peyton and takes the baby from her arms, and she shoots him a grateful look and he kisses her temple. Peyton finishes the bottle and hands it to Lucas, and he feeds Anna while Peyton disappears into the bedroom to finish her call.

She comes out into the living room five minutes later to see her husband gazing down at his daughter as a college basketball game plays in the background. Anna's little fingers splay over his large hand, and Peyton can only smile.

He always swoops in like Superman just when she needs him to.

"She's already a daddy's girl," Peyton muses from the doorway, and he turns his head and smiles.

"That shouldn't surprise you," he tells her as she sits down next to him and tucks one leg beneath her. It's then that he notices the tears in his wife's eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I was just totally overwhelmed, and you come in and it's like everything's under control. When you aren't here, I feel like a madwoman trying to do everything," she says, unable to stop the tears from falling down her cheeks.

"No one said you had to do everything on your own," he tells her, brushing away her tears with the back of his index finger. "That's what I'm here for."

"But...That was Deb on the phone, and she wants me to manage Tric," she says sadly. "And I want to do it, and she says I can just come in whenever I'm ready. But...I don't think I'll ever be ready."

"Peyt, it's only been three weeks," he reminds her, holding Anna against his shoulder and patting her gently on the back.

He's such a natural that it scares Peyton sometimes.

"You don't have to go to work right away," he says. "The advance on my book is coming through, and we have savings. We're good for a while."

"I know," she says softly, running her hand over Anna's soft hair. "I just can't ever see myself leaving her."

"You going to work doesn't mean you're leaving her," Lucas insists seriously. He knows there's more to it, and what she says next confirms it.

"I just want to be a good mom," she admits, just above a whisper.

"Peyton," he breathes out, shaking his head. "You already _are_ a good mom."

She just rolls her eyes and leans over to kiss him, and mumbles a thank you against his lips. He can say the simplest things to her, and somehow make her believe him every time.

"Gimme," she says, holding out her hands to take Anna from him.

Lucas just laughs and carefully passes the baby to her. He kisses Anna's forehead, and smiles fondly as Peyton gets up and starts down the hall to the nursery.

"How'd I get so lucky, huh?" she asks the little girl in her arms.

He can only shake his head in wonder.

She's his wife, and she's given him a perfect daughter, and they've started an amazing life together.

And she thinks she's the lucky one.

_| But I will find him sitting on my doorstep__  
Waiting for a surprise  
And he will feel like he's been there for hours |  
_

Anna's first word is Dada, and that doesn't surprise them, but Peyton still pouts about it.

He took classes all summer long so he would actually graduate early, and he's been staying home with their daughter while Peyton works at the club during the day. Of course, her hours are flexible, but she still feels like he gets more time with Anna, though they both know that's all in her head.

Lucas' second book - actually the first one he wrote - is an even better seller than the first, and that was all without a book tour. He'd refused to do anything that would take him away for more than a day at a time. Peyton tried to get him to reconsider, but she secretly loved that he wouldn't. He's up for the Ravens head coaching job for the upcoming year when the current coach retires; they all say he's a shoe-in.

The changes Peyton has made at Tric have upped traffic and bar sales, and brought in more reputable bands. She's good at what she does, and she loves every second of it.

She just hates being away from Lucas and Anna, even if she is only just across town.

She pulls her new black sedan into the driveway of the house, and she sees her two favourite people in the world waiting for her on the porch. She has no clue how Lucas would know she'd be home now, but she's learned not to question the things he does; he just always seems to know, and she loves him for that.

"Hey baby girl," she sings as she steps up the walk.

Anna's toddling down the pavement with a few daisies in her little fist, and she holds them up to her mother.

"We picked flowers," Lucas states with a smile as Peyton lifts their daughter into her arms.

"I see that," she says. "Hi."

"Hi," he mumbles as he kisses her softly. "You'll never guess what happened today."

"Another 'accident' with paint on the kitchen table?" she asks with a raised eyebrow.

Earlier that week, she'd walked into the house to see Lucas and Anna covered to their elbows in yellow, blue, and red finger paints. The only problem was that you would have thought they had forgotten paper all together, judging by how much paint was on the table.

"No," he says boyishly. "She said another word."

"Another word!?" she asks the little girl in a goofy voice that has her giggling that little laugh that melts both her parents' hearts. "What was it?"

"Mama," Lucas says, laughing when Peyton's jaw drops.

"What!?"

"I was carrying her down the hall and she saw the picture from our wedding day," he explains. "She put her hand on the glass and just blurted it out."

"Without me even there," Peyton says with a pout.

Sometimes Lucas has to ask himself who the little girl is. She hits him every time he says something like that, though, so he usually keeps it to himself.

"Can you say mama?" Lucas asks encouragingly as they all sit on the porch swing. "Come on, baby."

Anna just curls up against Peyton's chest and stays absolutely silent.

"She thinks I'm just a picture," Peyton mumbles.

"Babe," Lucas laughs, draping his arm around her. "She'll say it again. Just give her time."

Peyton nods and runs her fingers through Anna's straight blonde hair, and leans her head against Lucas' shoulder as their daughter sits on her lap.

"How was your day?" she asks him, just as she always does.

"Good," he says with a nod. "I got some pages written. She was awesome. Napped when she was supposed to and everything."

"So any word on the next book?" Peyton asks.

They've been waiting to hear from Lucas' publishing company whether they're optioning him for a third novel, and the call is supposed to come any day now. She assumes he'll tell her as soon as it does.

But apparently not.

"They called a couple hours ago," he says with a smile. "Book number three is slated for edit next year."

"Lucas!" she squeals, making Anna giggle at her tone and how quickly Peyton has her arms around her husband. "How is this...? We're only 23!"

"I'm aware," he says with a laugh as she settles into his side again.

"We're 23, and we're married and we have a perfect daughter. And you're a best-selling author," she finishes.

"And you're an incredible mom, and a successful businesswoman," he says in that tone of voice she loves. He leans over and speaks in her ear after pressing a kiss to the hinge of her jaw. "And you're amazingly sexy."

"Easy, mister," she warns, glancing down at Anna, who's playing with one of the daisies in her hands.

"You're in trouble once she's asleep," he warns her, and her cheeks flush as she takes a deep breath.

"What are you making me for dinner?" she asks, desperate for a subject change.

"It's already made and waiting for you when you're ready," he says, and she just lets out a breath and shakes her head. He's quite the Mr. Mom. He stands and reaches out to pull Anna into his arms. "Come on, little girl. Let's let mommy go change."

And that's when she says it. As soon as she's perched on Lucas' arm, Anna softly says those two little syllables.

"Mama."

Lucas looks over to Peyton, and she's smiling widely and out of her seat within seconds.

"Give her back to me!" she demands, making Lucas laugh as Peyton takes their daughter again. "You said it!" Anna giggles when Peyton kisses her cheek repeatedly, and then turns back to Lucas. "I never thought I'd love anyone more than you."

"Me neither," he says softly, leaning over to kiss her forehead.

_| And I can tell that he'll be there for life |  
_

They get ready for bed that night, and the smile hasn't left Peyton's face all evening. Lucas kisses the back of her neck and her shoulders as she sits at the edge of the bed and rubs lotion over her hands and arms.

"I can't believe she finally said it," she says, ignoring to his advances. "I swear, I could have cried."

"Mhmm."

"And...she's got such a perfect little voice, you know?" she points out. "Maybe she'll be a singer. Or...she could be a writer, and she'll have that great reading voice like you do."

"Mhmm."

He changes up his tactics and slips the strap of her nightgown off her shoulder, trailing his fingertips along her collar bone.

"And maybe I'll just keep talking and pretending I don't feel how amazing your hands are on my skin," she says, thinking he's not paying attention to a word she's saying.

"You could try," he growls as he nips at her earlobe.

"Lucas," she says, turning around to face him, "I'm trying to talk about our daughter's _future_, here."

She's smiling, so he knows he's not in trouble.

But he's still not exactly getting what he wants.

"And I'm trying to get laid," he grumbles, laughing when her jaw drops. He flops back onto his pillow, and raises an eyebrow at they way she eyes the strip of flesh between his tee shirt and boxers.

"Don't you want to hear me talk about Anna all night long?" she asks teasingly, straddling his lap and letting her hands fall to his chest.

"I love her," he says softly.

"Mhmm." She shifts on his lap and he stifles a groan he knows he doesn't need to stifle.

"And I love to hear you talk about her."

"Mhmm" she says, pushing up the cotton of his tee shirt.

"But I _love_ making love to you," he insists, sitting up and placing his hand on the back of her head to bring her lips to his.

"Baby, you always say the right things," she murmurs as he kisses her neck and pushes her nightgown up over her body.

And then they hear Anna crying through the baby monitor next to the bed, and Lucas throws his head back.

He immediately identifies that as a mistake, since he gets to view his insanely beautiful wife as she sits on his lap, and that only makes it even more painful that one of them has to leave the room. When she reaches for her nightgown and tugs it back over her head, he knows that it's her. He doesn't know if he'd feel any better had he been the one to leave, but he certainly misses her when she climbs off him and sets her feet on the ground.

He lays back against the pillow again and lets out a sigh as he watches the satin shimmer on her body, and she turns to him before she walks out the door.

"Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"The beauty of having our first baby so young? Is that we have _plenty_ of time to make more," she purrs.

He smiles at her and she winks, and all he sees are her legs until he can't see her any more.

_| And I can tell that he'll be there for life |  
_

"Did you hear all that?" she says when she walks back into the room and and closes the door behind her.

In the beginning, they each used to forget about the baby monitor, and so Peyton would hear Lucas every time he'd read to Anna and tell her all about his favourite books. And Lucas would hear Peyton tell Anna all about her daddy and how wonderful he is. It eventually just became another way for them to tease each other. Lucas will be reading or writing, and he'll hear Peyton making fun of him, and he can only shake his head.

He's laying back against the pillow with one arm behind his head as he reads a copy of Hamlet he's had as long as she's known him.

"You mean her just saying 'Mama' over and over again?" Lucas says with a smirk. "And you squealing like a little girl? Yeah. Heard it."

"Wasn't it great!?" she says excitedly, rushing towards the bed and settling against his side. She pulls the book from his hands and closes it without marking the page, just like he always scolds her for.

"Great," he says, doing his best - and failing - to ignore the way her body presses against his.

"Can you imagine when she starts really talking?" she asks, trailing her fingertips down his side and toying with the bottom of his shirt.

"Baby, you need to pick one thing to focus on, here," he tells her as he places one hand on her hip. "And I _really_ want it to be me."

"Yeah?" She kisses along his jaw line and he pulls her onto his lap to mimic the position she was in earlier.

"Uh huh." He watches intently and his mouth goes dry as she pulls her nightgown off her body again.

"And why would I do that?" she teases, leaning down to speak against his lips.

He can manage only one word, and the way she kisses him lets him know it's the right one.

"Anniversary."

"Is that why you were being so nice to me today?" she asks coyly, shivering beneath his fingers as he runs them down her back.

He'd made breakfast in bed, sent her flowers at work, made dinner, and given her a simple necklace she'd had her eye on for weeks and had not-so-subtly told him that it would be the perfect gift.

"You say that like I'm not nice to you every day," he points out, smirking at her. He flips them over so she's beneath him, and he brushes the hair from her face with the tips of his fingers.

"I kind of like you," she says as she clutches his bicep.

"That's a good thing," he growls, kissing her heatedly, and inwardly smiling at the noise she lets out.

"You don't have to tell _me_ that," she muses.

"I love you, Peyton," he says softly, and she smiles against his lips before he moves to that spot just below her ear that she loves.

He says it all the time. Probably 10 times a day, not that she'll ever complain.

"Hey Luke?"

"Yeah?" he asks, pulling away from her to look into her eyes.

"Promise me you'll never stop saying my name like that," she says seriously, and he smiles and closes his eyes before he presses his lips to hers.

"I promise."

**----**


	4. Right as Rain

**A/N:** Remember this story? I know it's been a while. Months, in fact. But I had debated over posting this fourth part, and then when I actually finished it, I felt like I had to. So here it is. It's a little angsty... I hope you like it.

**----**

Lucas and Peyton have been married over four years when Brooke Davis comes out of hiding.

Well, at least that's how the media puts it.

She's been keeping a low profile for years, and while a few die hard fans cared, the media didn't. That's just the way it is with popularity - one minute you're the commodity, and the next, you're off the radar and someone else is hogging the attention.

Peyton's in line at the grocery store with Anna swinging her feet as she sits in the cart, and Lucas is running to grab something he insists they've forgotten, and that's when Peyton sees the photo of her former best friend on the front of_ Us Weekly_. Brooke's in a black trench coat and a pair of dark sunglasses, and the headline reads _'Why The Sad Face, B. Davis?'_

And Peyton can't find it in her to care.

Lucas comes up behind her and places his hand on the small of her back as he passes Anna the heart shaped cookie with pink and red frosting Peyton had told her she couldn't have. Even though she's standing right there, Lucas still holds his index finger up to his lips and then points to Peyton discreetly as he looks at Anna with wide eyes. The little girl just giggles and looks at Peyton with a devious smirk as she bites into the cookie. Lucas laughs at her, and Peyton shakes her head. Lucas lifts their daughter out of the cart and sets her on his hip.

"We'll be in the car, OK?" he says, looking at Anna with a furrowed brow as crumbs from her treat drop onto his black shirt.

"Sure. Then we'll go home and you can chase her around the yard to work off the sugar," Peyton says with a raised eyebrow and he rolls his eyes and nods his head. He winks at her before he turns away, and her heart races.

She smiles again after he's disappeared through the doors.

He didn't even notice his ex-girlfriend's face splashed on the cover of a magazine.

She breathes a sigh of relief; she has nothing to worry about and she knows that, but sometimes a reminder is nice.

It's hard to believe they're still just in their 20's sometimes. Lucas is the best-selling author of three novels, and his company has given him the option of taking his time with the fourth one. But they all know there will be a fourth one. He's the head coach of the reigning North Carolina High School State Champion basketball team.

He's an incredible husband and father.

But that's no surprise.

Deb and Karen decided to expand their business and open another club the next town over, and the two older women decided to take Peyton on as a partner. They essentially gave her control over everything to do with the new venue. She decided on location and decor and dealt with staffing from the start, but she hired a manager for the new club when the hours started wearing her too thin. She still books bands and puts out any fires, but she's really just the boss.

She's 25 years old and she's somebody's _boss_. Quite a few peoples' boss, actually.

She's an incredible wife and mother.

But that's no surprise.

She walks out into the parking lot with their cart full of food, and she sees Anna sitting on the trunk of the car, and Lucas with his arms on either side of her.

"Mommy!" she shouts. "Daddy ate half my cookie!"

"He'll do that," Peyton says with a chuckle. "And since you weren't supposed to have a cookie at all, I guess you should consider yourself pretty lucky."

"But I wanted a whole one," the little girl pouts.

"You mean you don't like sharing with Daddy?" Lucas says, sticking out his bottom lip teasingly.

"Sometimes," Anna says, trying not to smile. Lucas tickles her sides and picks her up as she giggles. He buckles her into her seat and then returns to help Peyton load the groceries into the trunk.

"You're such a sucker," she says, and he just smirks at her. "Seriously, Lucas, you're allowed to say no to her sometimes."

"Ahh, where's the fun in that?" he asks, laughing when she rolls her eyes. "And she's not the only one who always gets her way with me."

Peyton puts her hand on her hip and raises an eyebrow, and he challenges her right back. She sighs and turns away dramatically, because she knows he's right, and then she's giggling with Anna in the car until he takes his place next to her and they head home.

She holds his hand as he drives, just like she always does, and they wave to their neighbours as they pull into the driveway.

Their life is extraordinarily simple, and they wouldn't have it any other way.

As they all sit on the sofa that evening, Anna falls asleep with her head in her mother's lap, and when Peyton looks over to Lucas and sweetly asks how he feels about bringing her some ice cream, he just reminds her that he's never said no to her before.

He carries Anna to her bedroom and tucks her in. When he returns to the living room with his wife's snack, he leans down to speak into her ear and tells her that she can have her way with him any time she wants. He smirks when her cheeks turn pink. He always did love to make her blush.

_----_

"Did you see it?" Haley asks before any other greeting when she walks into the house and heads for the sofa where Peyton sits.

Peyton doesn't need to ask what her sister-in-law is talking about.

Haley's got she and Nathan's 6-month-old daughter, Leigha, in a baby bjorn, and her very stylish baby bag in her hand.

After a horribly unfortunate accident left Nathan unable to be drafted into the NBA, he and Haley moved back to Tree Hill, into a large home in a new subdivision. With Peyton's tough love, Lucas' gentle (or sometimes not-so-gentle) encouragement, and Haley's amazing strength, he's almost back to where he was before he was thrown through a glass window. Haley's teaching at Tree Hill High - well, when she's not on maternity leave.

"At the supermarket, yeah," Peyton says distractedly as she pulls her niece - and God daughter - into her arms. The little girl is has jet black hair and the deepest brown eyes Peyton's ever seen.

"What's up with that? She just disappears after that whole...thing, and then now..." Haley says, shaking her head.

"I don't know," Peyton sighs. "I just...Is it wrong that I don't care?"

"Not really," Haley says honestly. "I mean, it's not exactly like she kept in touch all these years. She hasn't been there for Jamie. She doesn't even know about Anna or this one." She points to Leigha as the little girl grabs onto Peyton's necklace. "Why should we be interested in her life just because it's on the front of a magazine, when she hasn't been interested in ours at all?"

"That's exactly what I was thinking," Peyton says with a smile, happy to have Haley on her side.

"Where is Anna anyway?" Haley asks, suddenly noticing how quiet the house is.

"Lucas took her to practice with him and Skills," Peyton explains, and both women laugh. Not only is Anna a daddy's girl, but she seems quite fond of the game her father grew up on. She's certainly a Scott.

Peyton and Haley spend the rest of their morning chatting about the affairs of the little town they love, and their husbands, and their children. They talk about music, and...everything they can. They've really become like sisters over the years, and neither would change that for a thing. The thing they both realize is that neither would trade the other for the brunette they both used to consider their best friend.

It's all really easy to believe that the emergence of Brooke Davis from wherever it is that she was doesn't change anything.

But it does.

A couple weeks after that original photo is printed, Brooke Davis is photographed with a child's hand tucked firmly into hers.

And that child has sandy blonde hair and blue eyes.

Peyton refuses to buy the magazine that has her heart stopping in her chest, but can't stop herself from doing a Google image search that brings up more photos of that little boy. They're all grainy and a little bit out of focus, but she can still do the math and the boy looks to be about the same age as her daughter, give or take a few months.

Peyton starts feeling like maybe their life is neither perfect nor simple anymore, and she's crying when Lucas rushes through the door and he just shakes his head when he sees her.

"Peyton..."

"Where's Anna?" she asks, wiping her eyes quickly and standing from her place at Lucas' desk.

"With Nathan and Jamie," Lucas says, placing his hands on her arms to stop her from leaving the room like he knows she's about to do. "Peyton, I'm...I don't know..."

"Me neither," she whispers.

She looks at him again, and there's uncertainty in his eyes that terrifies her. He's always the rock. He's always the strong one. That he's showing any weakness at all tells her he's just as scared as she is.

"What are we gonna do?" she asks.

"I don't know," he repeats. "I mean...I haven't heard from her since...I really don't know what to do, Peyton."

"OK. Well, did you...Were you...protected?" she asks, though it kills her to do it.

"With these genes? Of course," he says, and they both laugh despite the tears that are in their eyes.

"OK. Well...maybe...Maybe she was trying to numb the pain, you know? Maybe she just...had random sex with a bunch of guys who looked like you," Peyton says, pulling away from him to pace the floor of their bedroom. "Maybe...maybe she was already pregnant before you two even slept together. I mean...it's possible, right?"

"Peyton, honey," he says, pulling her against his chest, "I...we need to try to stay calm."

"Calm? Lucas, you might have another...another child," she says as more tears fall down her cheeks.

"We don't know that," he insists, shaking his head.

She closes her eyes and tries to pretend that it's not all happening and that it's still just the three of them, and there's not the possibility that her husband has a son he didn't know about from a one-night stand that he readily admits never should have happened.

But she knows Lucas, and if that child is his, their lives are about to change in a huge way. He won't abandon his son - not like his father abandoned him - and Peyton wouldn't expect him to. She wouldn't want him to, and she'd never ask him to. He's just not that man. That's one of the reasons she loves him so much.

"I'm...Maybe I'll go stay with Anna at Nathan and Haley's," she says, wiping her tears. She hides the way her heart breaks at the look he gives her. "You need...you need some time to sit with this."

"What is need is you," he says sincerely. But there's a hint of anger, or maybe disappointment, in his tone that she really wants to hate.

"I know," she says with a nod. "And I'm here for you, Lucas. You know I am. But...we both just need to..."

"OK," he says before she can finish.

He doesn't want her to leave. In fact, that's pretty much the las thing he wants. But he knows her, and while she's trying to act like all this uncertainty isn't killing her, he knows that it is. And he hates himself again for ever calling Brooke that night in New York.

"OK?" she asks skeptically.

"Whatever you need, Peyton," he says, shrugging his shoulders.

"I should be saying that to you," she laughs.

He wipes her tears and she wraps her arms around him, and they spend a few minutes like that, just embracing each other in the silence of their empty home.

She pulls away and pretends she doesn't see the broken look on his face as he sits on the bed and watches her drop a few things into a bag. She doesn't want to leave and he doesn't want her to go, but they each think that is what the other needs.

They're always trying to do right by each other, but those good intentions have never had them sleeping in separate beds before.

_----_

Peyton gets to Nathan and Haley's, and she insists to the both of them that she doesn't want to talk about it. She and Haley tuck Anna and Jamie into the single bed they're sharing for the night, and Haley acts like she doesn't see the tears in Peyton's eyes as she looks at the little boy that suddenly looks a lot like an older version of someone else.

Haley stands across from Nathan and Peyton as they sit at the counter in the kitchen. Both kids are asleep, and there's nothing but the silence around them, and Nathan just can't take it any more.

"Sooo," Nathan says in an attempt to break the tension.

"Nathan, I love you. But I swear to God, I'll knock your ass off this stool right now if you ask me how I am," Peyton says seriously.

"You need alcohol," he states firmly. "Tequila. Or...how do you feel about scotch?"

"Scotch is Luke's drink," she points out, for no reason other than it was the first thing that comes to mind.

"Tequila it is!" Haley says, and they all laugh.

Nathan and Peyton do one shot, but he won't drink any more than that, and Peyton won't drink alone, and Haley can't drink at all. They laugh at themselves and what their lives have become, but the look they share, and the quiet moment it exists within, tells them that they wouldn't change any of it.

They talk about Jamie's impressive basketball game from the day before, and Haley shows off a drawing Anna did that afternoon, and Nathan has to bite his tongue when Peyton starts to tear up at the piece of paper with three blonde stick figures on it. It's their family.

Just the three of them.

"Peyton," Haley says sympathetically, placing her hand over Peyton's.

"No," Peyton says, shaking her head as she hops off her stool. "If you start, then...I just can't."

"Why don't you get some sleep?" Nathan suggests.

"Yeah," she sighs. "I'm just...I'm gonna grab Anna. I need her right now."

"OK," Haley says with a nod. "Whatever you need, we're here."

"Thank you." Peyton offers as big a smile as she can manage, which isn't saying much, and heads up the stairs.

She picks Anna up from the bed and ensures Jamie's still covered up before leaving the room. She walks into the spare bedroom and lays down in her sweats with her daughter in her arms.

"Mommy?" Anna coos sleepily.

"Yeah, sweetie. Go back to sleep," Peyton says, kissing the girl's forehead.

"Where's daddy?"

Peyton's throat gets tight again upon hearing that word, and all she can think is that there might be another child out there calling her husband by the same name.

"Daddy's at our house," Peyton explains.

"How come he's not here with us?" Anna asks, twirling one of Peyton's curls, just like she always does when she's in her mother's arms.

"Mommy just wanted you all to herself," Peyton says, pulling her daughter a little closer.

Anna falls asleep a few moments later, but Peyton can't. In fact, it's long after she's heard Nathan and Haley close their bedroom door that she realizes that she can't sleep without her husband. She doesn't want to, and she shouldn't be trying, and she certainly shouldn't be trying right now.

She gathers Anna in her arms again and hastily writes a note in red crayon on construction paper and leaves it on the counter for Nathan and Haley, just to let them know not to worry when they wake up to find her gone.

Peyton's never been more thankful that her little girl sleeps as soundly as her father than she is that evening when she's trying to buckle Anna into her car seat. Anna doesn't stir the whole way home, and she still doesn't wake up as Peyton walks her down the hall of their home to her bedroom and lays her in bed. Peyton kisses her daughter's forehead one last time before stepping back into the hall.

She's a little surprised that Lucas hasn't come out to greet her yet. She knows if he's asleep, there's no waking him, but she really didn't think he would be.

She walks into the bedroom and sees him laying there, fast asleep, though the worried look she last saw on his face is still there. She pulls back the covers and crawls in next to him, and he instinctively pulls her closer to him.

This is what she's needed all night, and she was crazy to think otherwise.

"I love you," he whispers, and she moves closer to him still.

"I love you, too," she says. "I'm sorry I left."

"I understand," he insists. "Did Haley get through to you?"

"No," she says, shaking her head.

"Then what did?"

"Trying to sleep without you when I knew I didn't have to."

A tear falls from her eye, but it's a different kind. It's the comfort that she feels every time she's with Lucas, and just the way he holds her like he wants to save her.

He always does.

_----_

"Well," she says the next morning after dropping Anna off with Grandma Karen for the day, "we had a good few years with no drama."

"I guess we can be thankful for that," he says, taking her hand in his.

They drive to the café, and head straight for the roof. It's where they sometimes steal moments when they don't want to be found. It's where they watch the stars and drink hot cocoa before going home to an empty house when Anna spends the night with her aunt and uncle or grandmother.

And right now, it's where they'll go to rationally - and hopefully without tears - discuss the very real possibility that Lucas and Brooke have a child together.

"Where's your head?" she asks as she rests her head against his shoulder, sitting atop the picnic table.

"Kind of all over," he says. "It feels crazy to jump to conclusions, you know?"

"Yeah, because you were so great with the prospect of me being pregnant," she says teasingly, and he squints at her until she kisses him.

"I just...As much as Brooke kind of cut ties, I just can't see her not telling me," he points out.

He's right, she knows. And really, of all the people she used to know, Brooke really only kept in touch with Lucas. Well, she kept in touch with him more than anyone else, anyway. And just the thought of that has Peyton's blood boiling, wondering if there's a deeper reason for that.

"I wish I could say that you're right," Peyton says objectively. "But none of us really know her any more."

"I know." He kisses the top of her head, and plays idly with the rings on her finger, as he's known to do when they sit this way. "I guess I just want to believe the best of her."

"What?" Peyton asks, pulling away from him. She doesn't like the way that statement sounded.

"I just mean that she knows what I went through as a kid," he explains quickly. "One, I can't see her turning me into Dan. And two, I can't see her putting that on her child, you know? To not know his father."

She leans over and kisses him as an apology, and he'll forgive her every time.

"I hope you're right," she says softly. "I just...I'm going to be selfish and come right out and say that I want any child of yours to be mine, too."

How in the world she thinks that's selfish is mind-boggling to him. He only wants the same thing, and he really hates that there's a possibility that dream won't come true.

But he won't resent Brooke's child if it is his child, too. He won't do that, and both he and Peyton know it.

"That's not selfish," he insists quietly. "I'm so sorry you have to go through this."

"We," she corrects him, weaving her fingers through his. "Always we."

_----_

Apparently, Brooke Davis is not an easy woman to get ahold of.

They try every number, past and present, and they get nowhere. The cell number they have for her is, no surprise, not in service, and when they try Clothes Over Bros' head office, they catch attitude from the girl who answers the phone, saying that _'you can't just _call_ and talk to Miss Davis'_.

The only good thing about any of it is that Anna's too young to understand what's going on.

So they hire a lawyer. Well, Andy loans them his lawyer and generously foots the bill.

But after a week of work on his part, he hasn't gotten anywhere either.

Peyton has had enough.

The day Extra is on in the background and there's talk of Lucas Scott and those photos from years ago, and comparisons to the hair and eye colour of Brooke's son, Peyton breaks down.

"I just hate this!" she hisses at Lucas.

Anna's home, and colouring with Karen and Lily in the kitchen, and Peyton won't raise her voice in front of her daughter. She never does, or at least she tries not to. Anna doesn't need to feel anyone else's emotion.

And right now, Peyton can hardly keep hers in check.

"I'm sorry," Lucas says for the thousandth time.

"It's all...worse," Peyton says as the tears start to fall.

Lucas pushes her towards the bedroom and closes the door behind them, and he pulls her against his chest, wrapping his arms around her even tighter when she tries to pull away.

"I look like an idiot, Luke!" she says in exasperation, finally wrenching herself from his hold. "Everyone looks at me differently now. Like...like I'm the one keeping you from your son, or I'm the one who stole you from her."

"That's not true," he insists firmly, his icy eyes locking with her. If she didn't know better, she'd be scared of that look. She knows he's not mad _at her_. He's just _mad_.

"I hate this," she whispers again.

"Me too," he says. "I want to make this better for you, Peyton, but I can't. And it's _killing_ me."

"Why did you have to sleep with her?" she asks quietly, shaking her head with her eyes closed.

She's never asked. Not once in all the years since they got together, has she asked why. They hadn't talked about it much at all, in fact, until...everything. It was considered water under the bridge. A spot on their history that meant little in hindsight. But now that she's looking at it from a different perspective, that spot just keeps getting bigger and bigger.

"I'm sorry," he says shamefully.

"I know," she whispers. "I'm just not sure what that really means anymore."

_----_

He tries to kiss her before bed that night. Nothing too intimate or too forward, just their every day, standard goodnight kiss. It's the same kiss they've shared almost every night since they got married. She's on her side of the bed, and he's on his side of the bed, and right before he reaches over to turn out the light, they meet in the middle and share that little kiss.

But this night, she lays on her side with her back to him, and he feels his heart wrench in his chest.

He heaves a sigh and inwardly curses himself - and maybe Brooke - for the infinite time. He's an idiot, and he's drowning in self-loathing, and he really doesn't deserve the beautiful woman laying next to him.

Even when she is giving him the cold shoulder.

"Don't do that," she insists.

"What?"

"Sigh like_ I'm_ the one you're mad at," she says knowingly.

Dammit, he wishes she wasn't right all the time. Something in him doesn't want to admit she is.

So he says nothing, and he switches off the light and turns on his side so his back is to her.

They've never gone to bed angry, and though neither of them has really come out and said the words, it's all there, laying in the space between them on the bed that's never really existed before.

"Can we...Can this be over?" he says from his place.

"Why? Can you go back in time and _not_ screw your ex-girlfriend because you were mad at me?" she asks dryly, her back still to him.

"I wasn't mad at you!" he says adamantly, though they both know he was.

And lying about it now isn't going to get him anywhere.

"You were. You resented me because I didn't feed your little ego, so you found someone who would," she says. She feels the rustle of the sheets, then the light turns on again, and he's grabbing her shoulder to lay her on her back so she'll look at him.

"Stop it," he demands harshly. "None of this was about _ego_. I was in love with you, and you were ignoring the fact that you were in love with me, for a reason I _still_ don't understand."

"I loved you for two years before you even acknowledged it!" she reminds him. "And wow, _who_ came between us in the beginning, too?"

"Don't blame everything on Brooke," he says, shaking his head.

"Don't _defend_ her!" she shouts as she sits up in bed. "Everything I've _ever_ done has been out of love for you, and...with you, there's always something to do with Brooke."

"That's just a _little_ bit of an exaggeration, don't you think?" he asks incredulously.

"No. I don't," she says with tears in her eyes.

"How do you not get that I love _you_?" he asks in frustration.

She stands from the bed and walks to the door, and he's almost in tears himself, wondering why she won't just lay down with him and let them heal each other.

"Because there's a kid out there who might be the product of a night where you were running _so_ fast in the opposite direction of our love, that you just...you forgot all about me," she says brokenly.

As soon as she's in the hallway, she feels like the wind has been knocked out of her. She just said things she didn't really mean, and things she didn't really believe, and she walked away from her husband when he needed her most. She's being selfish an horrible, but she thinks that just maybe she has the right to be. She's put on a brave face up to this point, and she can't do it any more.

She walks down the hall to check on Anna, who's asleep in her bed with her angelfish night-light glowing, and as she looks at her daughter - their daughter - she realizes that he doesn't deserve it.

He doesn't deserve her animosity or her anger, as justifiable as it is. A marriage isn't about placing blame and shifting around the hurt; it's about compromise and a constant shoulder to lean on and a unified front against anything that comes at you.

So she rushes back into the bedroom and starts crying a little harder when she sees him wiping a tear from his eye. She lays on top of him and they hold each other that way for what feels like forever.

"I'm sorry."

This time, it's her saying it.

This time, he knows exactly what it means.

This time, when he leans in to kiss her, she kisses him back, and she curls herself into his side like she's done almost every night since they've been married.

And he realizes that no matter what they do, they always do seem to meet in the middle.

_----_

It's a Wednesday morning when Brooke Davis comes back to Tree Hill. Nathan is the first to see her, and tells everyone immediately. She appears to be alone and staying at the nicest of the hotels in town, or so he assumed as he drove past and saw her stepping out of a cab.

"I'm not going," Peyton says, crossing her arms over her chest.

The four of them are standing in the kitchen at Nathan and Haley's house, and Lucas just got off the phone with their lawyer, letting him know what's going on. It was suggested that Lucas and Peyton seek Brooke out and get things underway and have a long discussion to see where things stand, or if she has an explanation for anything.

"Peyton," Haley says, shaking her head.

"No!" she insists. "I'm not. I have nothing to say to her." She turns to Lucas and places her hand on his arm, and she sees understanding in his eyes before she's even explained herself. "You know that I am here for you, no matter what. I just can't...I can't see her."

"OK," he says softly. "But you stay here with Anna."

"Where else would I be?" she asks with a smile.

"Uh...your house, pacing the hall and getting yourself all scary about everything?" Nathan suggests, and Peyton hits his arm while Lucas and Haley laugh.

They laugh because he's right.

"I'll be here," she says after turning back to her husband. "But don't...don't tell her about Anna."

"Or Leigha," Haley adds. Both Scott men have confused looks on their faces.

"Why?" Lucas asks.

"Because she doesn't deserve to know," Haley says rationally. "She didn't ask, so it's not her information to know."

"OK," Lucas says softly.

Neither Nathan or Haley says anything as Lucas and Peyton walk to the door, they just share a look and Nathan wraps his arm around his wife's shoulder. As much as they love that the drama isn't about them, they don't want Lucas and Peyton to have to deal with it either.

"I wish I could promise you that it'd be OK," Peyton says once they're outside. Her hands are tucked firmly in his, and that action still brings all the comfort it always has.

"You don't have to. And I should be saying that to you," he says, smiling at her as she shakes her head at the familiarity of those words.

"_We're_ going to be OK, no matter what," she insists. "You and me and Anna. That's not changing."

"Nothing could change that," he agrees, kissing her gently as he lets go of her hands to reach for his keys. "I'll come pick you guys up in a bit. I love you."

"Love you, too," she says, winking as he gets into their car and turns the key.

And he really wants to believe that everything's going to be OK. But there's a knot in his stomach that's just about making him sick, constantly reminding him that maybe it won't be.

_----_

Apparently, once she's in Tree Hill, Brooke Davis isn't as important as she is anywhere else in the world. Or so it would seem. Lucas asks at the front desk which room she's in, and he has no trouble getting that information.

He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly before he knocks on her door, and she actually looks surprised to see him when she answers.

He's instantly angry.

Why the hell would she think that he wouldn't come to her? No, on second thought, why the hell wouldn't _she_ seek _him_ out? Sure, she came to Tree Hill, but she shouldn't be wasting any time either.

"Lucas," she breathes out.

"We need to talk," he says. His tone is steady, though he feels anything but.

"Yeah. Come in," she says, pulling the door open a little wider.

He paces the floor until he hears the door click shut, then turns to her again. "Is he mine?"

He figures he's not going to beat around the bush or exchange pleasantries. They both know she's in Tree Hill for a reason, and he's in her hotel room for a reason, and so he's going to get straight to the point.

"I...don't know," Brooke says softly.

"You don't know," Lucas repeats, almost in disbelief. "We're doing a paternity test."

"Lucas..."

"Don't," he says, his voice low and probably a little scary, he realizes. "I...You should have called me."

"It's not like we parted on good terms!" she reminds him.

"So!" he shouts. "So you want to punish your son because you were angry with me? Good parenting."

"That's a little unfair," she says, putting a hand on her hip.

"No, not really," he tells her. "Unfair is that four years later, I get blind-sided by the fact that you have a son who looks shockingly similar to me."

He's gesturing with his left hand, and when he runs it through his hair in frustration, he notices her eyes fall on his wedding band.

And he now understands exactly why Peyton and Haley didn't want to share information. He doesn't even want to tell Brooke that he and Peyton are married. He doesn't want her to know anything other than what she already knows.

"You're..." she starts.

"Did you bring him?" he asks before she can finish what he knows she was about to say.

"Do you _see_ a child here, Lucas?" she asks, suddenly angry that he's being so short with her.

"We're doing the test," he repeats, making his way to the door. "My lawyer will call you."

"Lucas," she calls out, stopping him from leaving. "I have...I brought what we need. Make the appointment, and we'll get this settled."

"Settled," he says, letting out a bitter laugh as he reaches for the door knob. "You know, I really don't understand how you can make light of this, Brooke."

"I'm not making light of anything! I'm protecting my son," she tells him.

"Protecting him," Lucas states incredulously. "Whatever you need to tell yourself."

He's out the door and walking down the hall, and he's in the elevator before he lets himself stop and really take a breath. He puts his hands on his knees and closes his eyes, taking solace in the fact that they'll soon know either way.

And he wonders if it makes him a horrible person to hope the child isn't his.

_----_

Peyton fully expects Brooke to keep a low profile. They know she'll be in town for a week at least, since the test is in two days, and the results will take a few days to process. But Peyton doesn't want to see her ex supposed best friend, and she's perfectly OK if their paths never cross.

"Mommy?" Anna asks one morning.

She's hopped up into Lucas and Peyton's bed like she likes to do sometimes when she's up before them. Lucas has a morning practice, but Peyton's taking the day off, so the girls lay in bed beneath the covers as Lucas gets ready to go.

"Yeah, baby?" Peyton says, catching the wink Lucas gives her when he pulls on her favourite shirt of his.

"How come I can't go with daddy today?"

"Because you and I are going to stay here and make cookies," Peyton says enthusiastically.

"Chocolate chip?" Anna asks, her eyes wide.

"If that's the kind you want to make," Peyton says.

"Yeah," Anna says, smiling that bright smile that brings out her dimples.

Peyton falls in love with her daughter a little bit more every time she sees that smile.

"Jealous, daddy?" Peyton asks teasingly.

"That my girls get to stay home today and I have to leave you and go to work? Definitely," Lucas says as he reaches for his keys.

"Can uncle Nathan come over?" Anna asks.

"What?" Lucas asks in mock awe. "You want uncle Nathan instead of me?"

"No," she giggles. "But he always sneaks cookies when mommy isn't looking, so me and Jamie get to eat more."

"You sneaky little girl," Lucas teases, tickling her sides as he leans over and kisses her forehead. He presses his lips to Peyton's, and she fixes the collar of his shirt for him. "I'll see you later."

"Love you, daddy," Anna says. Peyton and Lucas share a look of absolute adoration for their little girl, and Peyton pulls Anna closer and drops a kiss to her hair.

"Love you, too, honey." Peyton raises her eyebrow expectantly and he just chuckles. "You too, wifey."

Peyton lays back against the pillows and closes her eyes, but Anna's having none of it. She stands up on the bed and puts her hands on her hips, looking down at her mother.

"Mommy! Call Nathan!"

"OK, OK!" Peyton laughs, standing from the bed and picking Anna up to set her on the floor.

They're halfway through their second batch of cookies, with Jamie and Anna giggling wildly each time Nathan swipes a cookie for either of them. He makes a big show of it and isn't discrete at all, and Peyton knows exactly what's going on, but she can't tell him to stop because the sound of those two little kids' laughter melts her heart.

There's a knock at the front door mid-morning, and Peyton wipes her hands on her apron as she walks to the door. Nathan, always the protector, stands in the hallway just outside the kitchen until he can see who's at the door.

Neither he nor Peyton expect to see Brooke.

Peyton's speechless as soon as she opens the door, and Nathan looks to the kitchen to make sure the kids are still occupied and not going anywhere near the door. Brooke looks from Peyton to Nathan, and for a split second, she wonders what they're doing in Lucas' house, though in her heart she knows the answer.

"Hi," Brooke says timidly.

"Hi," Peyton echoes.

"I was looking for Lucas, but..."

"Hang on," Peyton demands, stepping into the house and shutting the door.

Nathan peeks into the kitchen once more before joining Peyton by the doorway, and he doesn't like the frantic look on her face one bit.

"Hey," he says, placing his hand on her shoulder, "go on. Just talk to her, Peyton. I'll watch the kids."

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, then takes off her apron and hands it to him.

"Don't let Anna near the door," she warns needlessly, and Nathan nods his head and smiles reassuringly.

As soon as Peyton steps outside, Brooke spins around from where she was standing and looking out onto the street.

"Can I help you?" Peyton asks, showing no emotion as she crosses her arms on her chest.

"I was just...I didn't know you and Lucas..." Brooke starts, though she had known from the moment she saw Lucas' wedding band a couple days earlier that he must have married Peyton.

"Got married? Yeah," Peyton says. She sees Brooke look to the rings on her left hand, but she doesn't hold her hand up or make it obvious in the least. "What did you need to talk to Luke about?"

"Peyton, come on," Brooke says pleadingly. "Can we...have a normal conversation?"

"You're about 5 years too late for a normal conversation, Brooke, considering this is the first time you and I have spoken since you moved to New York," Peyton says coolly.

"OK, and I suck for that, but we should make an effort," Brooke insists, and Peyton just shakes her head.

"I don't think that's necessary until we know one way or another," Peyton says. She wants to make it perfectly clear that they really aren't friends any more, and she thinks that just maybe Brooke's getting the message.

"Look, you can hate me if you want to, but if Braeden turns out to be Lucas' son, don't keep them apart," Brooke says sincerely.

And that sincerity only serves to make Peyton more angry.

"Well, the big word in there is '_if_', isn't it?" Peyton reminds Brooke. "And even though we haven't spoken in years, you know better than to think I'd keep Lucas from his child." Her tone is calm, but her nerves are anything but. "Actually I really think it's kind of hypocritical of you to come here and say that to me, when _you're_ the one who's waited four and a half years to even mention the fact that your son might be Lucas'. And you know what? I get the feeling you wouldn't have said anything unless those photos came out. So forgive me if I'm not exactly welcoming you into my home."

After Peyton's rant, it's very clear that Brooke really doesn't know what to say. The women just stare at each other for a moment, and they both know damn well that Peyton won't back down.

"Will you just...tell him I stopped by?" Brooke requests quietly. She knows that everything Peyton has just said is true; she can't deny any of it.

"OK," Peyton says simply.

Brooke catches sight of a kite and a small purple bike at the other end of the porch, and Peyton follows her gaze until their eyes meet again.

"You have...? You and Lucas?" Brooke stutters.

"She's three," Peyton says softly, and Brooke flashes a weak smile.

"OK. I'll...I'm going to go," Brooke says. Peyton doesn't say a word while Brooke turns around and walks back to her car.

And nowhere in that whole conversation, did Peyton hear an apology.

_----_

"Hey, listen to this," Lucas says as they lay in bed one night. "You know how easily and suddenly these things happen, beginning in playful teasing and ending in something a little warmer than friendship. You squeeze the slender arm which is passed through yours, you venture to take the little gloved hand, you say good night at absurd length in the shadow of the door. It is innocent and very interesting, love trying his wings in a first little flutter."

Peyton takes a shuddering breath as she looks over at him and kinks her brow. She knows that he knows how much she loves it when he reads passages from whatever book he's reading. He knows that if there's one thing he can do that'll make her lean over in bed, pluck the book from his hands, and make him touch her instead, it's reading out loud.

"Who is that?" she asks.

"Arthur Conan Doyle," he says, turning back to his book. "I think that kind of describes us."

"Yeah, it kind of does," she says before going back to her own book.

And something about that isn't quite right, he realizes.

The paternity test had been administered that morning, and the two of them had a brief talk about it, though they both knew that it was just another step in the process, so there was no sense making a big fuss over anything. Peyton was still weary, and Lucas requested that he and Brooke not be at the doctor's office at the same time, which wasn't a problem.

"You OK?" he asks.

"Uh huh," she says absently.

"But...but you're not...kissing me," he says, making her laugh as she sets her book on her lap.

"Honey, I know you think that's a foolproof technique..."

"It is," he laughs. "You've never, not once, turned it down." She laughs and shakes her head at him. "And I even related this one to us! What's going on?"

"I love that your signature move is to read from a book, and I'm putty in your hands," she says with a smile, and he beams. "I'm just...not in the mood."

"But we haven't been together in a few days," he says, almost pouting, she notices. "I know with everything that's going on..."

"Lucas," she says softly, "it's fine. I'm just..."

"You're pulling away," he states. It's not an accusation, it's just acknowledgment of the truth they both know.

"I'm sorry." She takes his hand in hers, and he offers a smile. She knows he feels horrible about everything already, and she certainly doesn't want to add to that.

"I understand. I just love you," he says with a shrug, leaning over to kiss her gently.

"I love you, too," she promises. "You know, before all this...stuff...I was thinking about our life."

"OK?"

"And how Anna's three, and how we always said that when she was three..."

"We'd have another one," Lucas finishes, and Peyton smiles at him. "Well, I don't know if you need a sex-ed refresher, but you can't get pregnant it we don't have sex."

"OK, smart ass," she says, swatting his arm and making him laugh.

"What's wrong, Peyton?" he asks delicately, weaving his fingers through hers.

"Just with everything going on, I want to wait," she says softly. "This is like, the hardest thing we've ever gone through, Lucas, and I...we need to get through this before we make any decisions."

"What are you saying?" he asks, trying his hardest to mask his anger. "Are you saying you don't think we'll get through this?"

"No!" she answers quickly. "No. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying...Nothing is guaranteed, and if Braeden is your son, then there's going to be a lot of uncertainty. I mean, would you go to New York to visit him? Would Brooke move here? Or bring him here to see you? You'd have to build a relationship with him, and...I can't...I won't have another baby if all that's going on."

"So you're not going to have sex with me until we get the results?" he asks in surprise.

"OK, Mr. One Track Mind," she giggles. "I just laid all that out, and..."

"No, I know," he says sincerely. "And I understand. Really. It's smart."

"But?"

"But...I want you," he says, locking eyes with her.

He really always does say the right things.

He smiles at her and his thumb toys with her wedding band, and she's giving in within seconds.

_----_

Anna begs to go to the park and play, and neither Peyton nor Lucas will say no. It's their favourite little family activity. In the winter, they'll go to the café for hot cocoa, and in the summer, they'll stop in for sweet tea.

It's a rare day of sunshine in the rainy season, so they walk to the park with Anna between her parents and holding both their hands. They lift her up over puddles and swing her between them. She's got her little gum boots on, and she laughs in delight when she jumps in a puddle and splashes Lucas' pants. He scowls at her playfully, and she squeals when he chases after her and hoists her up in the air.

Anna is sitting on Lucas' shoulders and Peyton has her arm linked through her husband's as they walk through their little town to see Grandma for some hot chocolate.

Peyton tightens her hold on Lucas when she sees a familiar brunette walking straight towards them. Lucas squeezes Peyton's hand reassuringly as Brooke stands in front of them.

"Hi," Brooke says nervously.

"Lucas, give her to me," Peyton says calmly, turning to him.

"Peyton..."

"Luke." Her tone is pleading, so he pulls Anna down off his shoulders and hands her to Peyton. She smiles at him before she puts their daughter on her hip and starts towards the café, walking right past Brooke in the process.

Brooke can hear the little girl's voice as they walk away.

"Mommy, who's that lady?"

"Just...someone mommy and daddy used to know," Peyton answers. It's the most honest answer she could think of.

"What do you need, Brooke?" Lucas asks once Peyton and Anna are inside the café.

"I think we need to talk, Lucas," she states firmly.

"Do we?" he asks. "Because until I get the phone call, I don't really have anything to say to you."

"OK, I don't know why you have _such_ animosity towards me, but..."

"You're kidding me, right?" he asks, laughing incredulously. She keeps the same stubborn look on her face, and he shakes his head. "Then you need to open your eyes, because it's not like it's a secret, Brooke. I'm going to spend time with my family. We'll talk if and when we need to."

She rolls her eyes and sighs as he walks past her, but she calls his name and he stops, but doesn't turn around.

"Your daughter is beautiful," she says sincerely.

He turns his head slightly, gives her a nod, and keeps on walking. If she thinks that telling him what he already knows will help her cause, she's wrong.

He steps into the café and catches a sympathetic smile from his mother, and Peyton sits Anna down at the table in the corner with Lily so the girls can colour.

"Well?" Peyton asks as he takes the stool next to her at the counter.

"She just said she thinks we should talk," he says with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Must have been a short conversation," Karen says as she pours a few cups of coffee.

"There wasn't one," he tells them. "Is it horrible that I want to wait until we know before I really let her into our lives?"

"No," Peyton insists firmly. "Not at all."

"She said Anna's beautiful," he says, and Karen smiles before walking over to give the girls their cocoa. "And of course she's beautiful. She's your daughter."

"Honey, she's like your clone," Peyton laughs, dropping her hand onto his thigh.

"Well yeah, but I figure I need to sweet talk you as much as possible these days," he teases, and she glares at him teasingly before leaning over and kissing him gently. "Are you ever going to talk to her?"

"Brooke?" she asks and he nods. Who else would he be talking about? "Let me ask you. Has she sought out Haley or Nathan, or even me? No. She's sought _you_ out. That leads me to believe that she doesn't really care about anything but herself."

"Peyton..."

"Lucas, seriously?" she asks incredulously. "She's been in town for a week and she doesn't even know that Nathan and Haley have a daughter. She hasn't even tried to _see_ Haley. So...no. I'm not going to talk to her."

"OK."

"OK," she says, indicating that that's the end of the conversation and he shouldn't bring it up again. She turns to her coffee cup and he leans over, placing his hand at the small of her back, and whispers that he loves her into her ear before he kisses her cheek.

"Mommy, come see," Anna says happily, holding up her drawing. Peyton walks over, and Lucas watches as his wife kneels next to their daughter at the table, taking the page in her hands. "You like it?"

"I love it, honey," Peyton says honestly. It's just a page torn out of a colouring book, with a puppy coloured in with shades of brown, and a gold medallion hanging from the collar around his neck.

"Can we get a puppy?" Anna asks in that innocent, childish way.

"Yeah!" Lily says excitedly. Karen laughs and shakes her head. There's no way _she's_ getting a dog.

"We'll see, Anna," Peyton says diplomatically. She's thankful that Anna hasn't yet figured out that 'we'll see' usually means 'no'.

They're walking home later with Anna running ahead a little bit, skipping over cracks in the sidewalks and running around puddles, always peeking to see if her parents are watching or if she can jump into them without them noticing. They're always looking.

"We could get one," Lucas says.

"One what?" Peyton asks, taking a sip of her hot chocolate from the paper cup in her hands.

"A dog. She'd love it."

"She would, or you would?" she inquires knowingly. She sees Anna with her foot raised, ready to step into a puddle. "Anna Haley! Don't you dare!"

"No fun!" Anna cries. Lucas laughs and shakes his head, and Peyton just rolls her eyes. He's such a softie; the girl could get away with anything.

"Lucas, we aren't getting a dog," Peyton says firmly.

"How come?" he says boyishly.

"Because we don't need a dog." She looks at him and he's squinting like he does when he doesn't get his way. "And because as soon as we find out that Braeden's not your son, we're having another baby."

She hands him her cup before he can find the words to say, and she's chasing after a giggling Anna. The girl jumps right into the center of a puddle and Peyton is shouting, but it's all in good fun. She knew they couldn't make it home without Anna getting her clothes wet or muddy. She's a kid; that's what they're supposed to do.

Lucas wants them to have another baby right now. He wishes he were as confident as Peyton is about the results of that test.

_----_

Lucas gives in one morning and takes Anna to practice with him. It didn't take much. She rushed into the bedroom before her parents were even awake and sat herself down right on his stomach, telling him as sternly as a three year old could, that he was taking her with him. Peyton could only laugh.

"She's _your_ daughter," Peyton says. Anna's all dressed in her little Ravens polo shirt - Nathan thought it was funny to get the kids shirts like he, Skills and Lucas have - and she's holding her sippy-cup of juice like Lucas holds his travel mug of coffee.

"You kidding me?" Lucas asks. "_I'm_ not the bossy one."

"I am not bossy!" Peyton cries, her eyes wide. She swats his arm with the back of her hand when he laughs, and he leans over to kiss her. "You are on thin ice, mister," she murmurs between kisses.

"I'll make it up to you," he whispers. He kisses her temple before looking over to Anna, who's waiting patiently by the front door for her dad. "We have to go. Right, sweetie?"

"Uh huh," Anna chirps. "Bye mommy."

"Bye, love," Peyton says, kneeling down to kiss her daughter's cheek. "Be good."

"I'm always good. That's what daddy says," Anna insists.

"Well, your daddy doesn't lie," Peyton says quietly. She stands and Lucas just has to kiss her after that.

She'd decided the night before that she didn't have to go to the club that day, so after she watches Lucas and Anna drive away, she heads into the living room to set up her laptop and starts on what work she has to do. Haley calls and the two chat for a while. Apparently Leigha has a cough, and Haley wanted the name of the prescription Peyton got when Anna got bronchitis as a baby. Peyton is reminded once again that she loves her family, and that she has a new best friends. Little moments like that make her feel better about not reconnecting at all with Brooke.

And it's not that she feels guilty. There has just been a little part of her that's wondered if maybe she should have been just a little more inviting. That thought usually leaves as quickly as it enters her mind.

The phone rings again, and it's a number she doesn't recognize. She seriously considers not answering, but she can never seem to ignore those numbers, just in case.

"Hello?"

"Good morning. This is Dr. McBride. I'm calling for Lucas Scott."

"He's not in right now. Can I help you?" she asks, trying to hide her nerves. She knows what this call is, and it could change her life.

"I should really speak directly with Mr. Scott," he says regrettably.

"This is his wife," Peyton says. She doesn't want to sound defensive, but she's getting really sick of doubting her relationship. Actually, she's getting really sick of the reminders that she has any reason to doubt it. She doesn't. She knows that. She wants everyone else to know that too.

"Oh," Dr. McBride says, "in that case, I have the results of the paternity test for the child...Braeden Davis."

"Yes?" Peyton breathes out, doing her best not to hyperventilate.

"This is an interesting situation, Mrs. Scott. It appears that the child is no relation to Lucas Scott," he says, and Peyton sighs her relief and feels the tears fill her eyes.

"So...what's interesting?" she asks.

"Well, the child is no relation to Brooke Davis, either," he explains.

"Wha...What? How is that possible?" Peyton asks hurriedly.

"I wondered the same thing," Dr. McBride says. "So I did a little research. The records were sealed almost suspiciously tightly, but it appears that Braeden Davis was adopted by Miss Davis shortly after he was born. This was all done out of the country. In Switzerland, actually."

"What?" Peyton asks, far louder than she intends.

"I'm not sure why she would request a paternity test, but...there you have it," he says. He sounds just as perplexed as Peyton is.

The only difference is that now Peyton is also really, really angry.

"Thank you," she says. "Thank you for telling me."

"You're welcome, Mrs. Scott. Take care," he says politely.

Peyton has no sooner hung up the phone than she's grabbing her purse and keys. She can't believe Brooke would do something like this; turn their lives upside down and wedged herself in the middle of their world, uninvited. She wants to think Brooke has a reason, but Peyton can't, for the life of her, think of what the hell that might be.

She doesn't really remember the drive to Brooke's hotel. She knows she was listening to some angry music, which ironically served to calm her a little bit instead of getting her even more riled up.

She knocks on the door to Brooke's room as calmly as she can, which isn't saying much. She holds her breath while she waits for the door to open, and then Brooke's standing there in front of her with a shocked look on her face.

"Hi," Brooke says quietly. "Come in."

Peyton brushes past her, and as soon as the door has clicked shut, she starts talking. "What did you _think_ was going to happen, Brooke?"

"Peyton..."

"Adopted!? He's _adopted_, and you tried to...What _were_ you trying to do?" Peyton asks, turning so she's facing Brooke again.

"It was...those pictures came out, and..."

"And what? Instead of telling people the real story, you thought you'd create some drama? Keep yourself in the press a little longer?"

"That's not it at all," Brooke said defensively.

"Then _what_? Why would you do that!?" Peyton shouts. She's doing her best not to cry, but it's really hard not to cry. "What explanation could you _possibly_ have?"

There's a look on Brooke's face that Peyton has seen before. A lot, actually. Junior and senior years, specifically. It's a little bit of a pout; a hopeless look in her eye that always meant one thing.

She wanted Lucas. At least on some level.

"I miss you!" Brooke cries. "I miss you guys. I miss...I miss Lucas."

"Don't you dare," Peyton says, speaking at a dangerously low level as she shakes her head. All the pieces are in place now, and she's a mother. She'll do anything to protect her family. The gloves are off. "Don't say his name."

"Come on, Peyton," Brooke says, putting a hand on her hip. "Like you're really in a position to judge."

"Don't push me, Brooke," Peyton warns.

"What? You think none of us remember how everything happened in high school?"

"In _high school_!" Peyton yells irately, throwing her hands up. "High school, Brooke. Years and years ago! Lucas and I...we have a child now. We're married. That means a little bit more than your school girl crush."

"Lucas and I were in love!" Brooke yells back.

"_Were_. _Were_ in love," Peyton says, smiling bitterly. "And you know what? You want to talk about missing people? Where the hell have _you_ been, Brooke? For _years_. And you think you had to come up with some...some _ploy_ to come back to town?"

"Well, you wouldn't have welcomed me back with open arms," Brooke insists. "It's not like you've really ever been great with the people who've come back into your life, Peyton."

There's an accusation in there that has no business people there, as far as Peyton's concerned, and all she wants is for Brooke to go back to New York or Switzerland or wherever the hell she's been, and _stay there_.

"You know what?" she asks, turning on her heel and heading towards the door. "I'm not doing this."

"And there's Peyton Sawyer," Brooke says with fake cheeriness, gesturing wildly with her arms. "Walking away every time something gets a little difficult."

Peyton turns around with her fist clenched at her side, and she's _this_ close to yelling something horrible. To reminding Brooke that _she's_ the one who walked away and cut ties with her friends. She wants to say that Brooke has made some stupid choices in her life, but this latest plot is definitely the stupidest.

And if she's being honest, she's probably _this_ close to throwing a punch or two.

But instead, she does the one thing that she knows will sting harder than any slap to the face.

"It's Peyton Scott," she says, smiling before she walks out the door.

And Peyton Scott _loves_ having the last word.

----

She calls Nathan on the way home and asks him if he'll take Anna home with him. He sounds confused, but she doesn't explain anything. She just tells him to have Lucas come straight home. After she assures him that she's alright, he agrees, and she hangs up.

She manages to make it home, and she's doing the dishes, just for something to do, when she finally lets herself cry. She's not entirely sure what she's crying for. She's essentially gotten what she wanted. Her family will stay just the way it is, and Brooke will leave town, and everything will go back to normal. She thinks she might be crying because until now, she didn't really want to believe that her friendship with Brooke was truly over. It's very evident that the two will never speak again.

And she cries for the little boy she's ever even met, for having been used as a pawn for his mother's scheme, one that she knew from the start would fail. Peyton still can't wrap her head around Brooke's logic. Or lack thereof.

"Peyton?" Lucas calls from the bedroom. She shuts off the tap and walks into their room, and he looks a little worried. She remembers she's been crying for the last 20 minutes, and she tries to smile. "What's wrong?"

"He's not your son," she says. Sure, she could have broached the subject a little more gently, but she's had enough of people being misleading. She just wants to tell him the truth already. "Nothing's wrong."

He doesn't know what to do. There's a big part of him that wants to shout and smile and pull her into his arms and just be relieved. But until he knows what she's crying about, he can't let himself be happy about anything.

"That's...amazing," he manages, letting himself sigh and step closer to her. "So why are you...what's got you upset?"

"That's not everything," she says. She sits at the end of the bed and reaches for his hand so he'll sit next to her. "Braeden is adopted."

There's a puzzled look on his face, and he closes his eyes and shakes his head quickly. "I'm sorry. _What_?"

"He's adopted. She adopted him after he was born," Peyton explains.

"So what...What the hell was all this _for_, then?" he asks, his anger growing.

"By the sounds of it, she wanted us back in her life. Well...she wanted _you_ back in her life."

"So she decided to start off by _lying_?" he says with disdain. Then his face changes and he turns towards her a little more. "Wait. You talked to her?"

"I...yeah," she says quietly, looking a little sheepish. "I was mad, and I wanted answers."

"Peyton." He laughs quietly. That's his girl. "What'd you say."

"A lot of stuff. I reminded her that you're my husband."

He kisses her because he feels like he needs to. He _is_ her husband. He doesn't need a reminder of that. He does love those reminders though.

"I'm...I can't believe she'd do that to me," he says, still in shock as he sits there with her hand in his. "No. You know what? I can't believe she'd do that to _you_."

"Luke, I'm just the bitch who stole her boyfriend," she says with a smirk, though she has to admit that since talking to Brooke, there's a small, tiny little part of her that has been feeling that way.

"You didn't _steal_ anything," he insists sternly. "Peyton...I'm...You and I..."

"I know," she whispers, moving to sit on his lap. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

"This...this almost tore us apart, Peyton," he says softly, shaking his head as he toys with the zipper of her sweater. "I can't believe her."

"Hey," she says seriously, taking his face in her hands. "Nothing's gonna tear us apart. OK? _Nothing_."

"You promise?" There's a smirk on his lips, because he already knows the answer.

"I promised you years ago," she says with a smile.

She brushes her lips against his, and when she tries to pull away, he won't let her. She can't complain. He tugs that zipper down and sinks into the kiss as he pushes the sweater off her shoulders. God, he loves her. He loves that they're strong enough to get through something like all this. He loves that it's over. He definitely loves the way she's feathering her fingers through his hair.

"Anna's at Nathan and Haley's," he says, though he already knows she knows where their daughter is. He's looking at her with _that_ look. Dark eyes and a hint of a smirk. She doesn't think she'll ever get sick of that look.

"Mhmm," Peyton murmurs.

She slides off his lap and lays back against the pillows, and she watches as he tugs his shirt over his head and moves to lay on top of her. If there was ever a time to make love to his gorgeous wife, this would be it. Well, if you ask him, there are a lot of times. All the time, if he were able.

He's just pulled her jeans down off her legs when there's a knock at the front door, and he turns his head a little, curious as to who would be there. Peyton, however, doesn't seem to care. She pulls him back into a fierce kiss and he stops caring pretty much right away. When she locks her legs around his waist, she's the only thing in the world that exists to him.

"Peyton!? It's Brooke. Open the door!" Her voice is angry, and it makes Peyton laugh.

"What?" Lucas asks quietly.

"It'd almost be worth it," Peyton says deviously. "She might finally get the idea if she saw us like this."

"Baby, I'm the only one who gets to see you like this," he says, his voice low as he looks at as much of her as their position will allow.

There are a couple more knocks on the door, but then they hear harsh steps walking down the steps and a car driving away. Peyton's pretty sure that's the last they'll be seeing of Brooke in Tree Hill. She's glad.

She just wants her life back. Stealing a couple hours to spend time alone in bed with her husband seems like a pretty good way to do that.

----

Haley laughs when she hears the full story. She actually laughs. She's red in the face and there are tears trailing down her cheeks, she's laughing so hard. Nathan's a little angry, and a little annoyed, but he's otherwise unaffected. "No one messes with the Scotts," he says, and they all nod their heads. That's the way it has always been, and it's the way it'll always be, and they certainly didn't need those words to be spoken to know they're true.

----

"Mommy, I don't _want to_," Anna insists childishly. Well, she is a child, but Peyton has had enough.

"Anna, _please_ just get dressed," Peyton says for what feels like the hundredth time.

"No!"

"Anna Scott," Peyton says sternly.

Rarely does Anna act this way. She's a good kid, and she usually does as she's told. She doesn't talk back or resist things she knows she should do, like get dressed. Peyton doesn't know what's going on this morning, but when her little girl crosses her arms over her chest dramatically and puts a pout on, Peyton has to leave the room before she really loses her temper.

"Lucas, can you please deal with your daughter?" she says in defeat as she breezes past where he's standing at the counter. She grabs a bottle of water from the fridge, and when she swings the door shut, he's still standing there and looking at her quizzically. "Did I stutter? Go!"

He wants to laugh. He kind of likes it when she gets all worked up. She puts one hand on her hip, and she brushes the hair from her face using the back of her hand, and that's the only time she ever does it that way. Not to mention, there's a little fire in her green eyes that he kind of loves.

He leans over, resting his hand on her waist momentarily, and he kisses her cheek. She closes her eyes, immediately soothed by his presence. She loves that he can do that. One simple touch (alright, two simple touches) and she can feel herself calming.

Anna trots out 10 minutes later with her jeans and tee shirt on and her father trailing behind her, and Peyton locks eyes with Lucas.

"That's not what I wanted her to wear," she tells him.

"Well, it's better than pajamas, isn't it?" he says. He's right and they both know it, but she's in a mood and she just rolls her eyes and shakes her head. "And we had a little talk about doing what we're told." Lucas shoots a look to Anna and she nods her head dutifully as she gets up onto the chair at the table where her breakfast is waiting.

"Maybe someone should have that talk with you," Peyton mumbles when her back is to him.

Lucas eyes her as she stands there, fussing with the coffee pot, and he knows something's up. He pours milk over Anna's cereal, then he walks up behind Peyton and rests his hands on her hips.

"Are you alright?" he asks quietly.

"I'm fine," she sighs. "I'm just tired or something. I'm sorry."

"It's OK," he insists. He means it, and she can tell. He kisses her cheek again, then moves to sit next to Anna at the table.

Peyton sits down and reaches for the cereal and she can see that Anna's thinking about something. She's about to ask when the girl starts talking.

"I'm sorry mommy."

Lucas smiles and Peyton's heart swells in her chest. She looks at Lucas, but he holds his hands up.

"I didn't tell her to say it," he promises.

"It's OK, sweetie," Peyton says, leaning over to kiss Anna's forehead. "Thank you for saying sorry."

There's a tightness in her throat and she feels like she's on the verge of tears. She starts to question what the hell has her in such a state.

Then she starts thinking.

There was only one other time she felt this way, and it was just about four years ago. She's actually almost surprised that Lucas hasn't mentioned it. She starts doing the math, and she's only a couple days late, but that could very well mean something. She and Lucas haven't been '_trying_, trying', he says, but they've stopped using birth control. She's not surprised that it hasn't taken any time at all. Maybe.

"Do you want to see if maybe Nathan and Jamie want to go to the River Court with you?" she asks Anna. Lucas' bewildered look only intensifies.

"Yeah!" Anna replies excitedly.

Peyton makes the call and sets it all up, and she's so busy getting Anna ready and packing a couple snacks for the kids that Lucas doesn't have a chance to ask her what she's scheming. It's not until after Nathan has picked up their daughter that Lucas corners her in their bedroom.

Apparently, he's been doing some thinking of his own.

"You're pregnant, aren't you?" he asks, unable to hide his smile. She closes her eyes and lets out a soft laugh as he walks over to her. "You are."

"I think I could be," she admits. "I thought we could find out together this time."

He wraps her all up in his arms and she smiles at that feeling that she'll never ever get sick of.

"That sounds good," he says, because he can't think of anything else, and it's the truth. "I love you."

"And hey," she says, pulling away from him a little. "Even if we aren't, Nathan's got Anna, so we _do_ have a little time to ourselves."

"We could do that before we go get the test," he suggests, using that tone of voice and flashing her those eyes.

"Test? Luke, we're going to the doctor's. I want a medical result," she insists. She moves away, grabbing her bag and pulling on her jacket. He's still standing in the same place. "You coming or what?"

"Why the rush?" he asks, though he definitely wants to know, too. This is them, though. He likes to sit with news and learn things a little more gradually; process the information. Peyton likes her answers right away. He can't really say he blames her on this one.

"Hey Luke?"

"Yeah, babe?" They're standing right by the door, and she reaches up and toys with one of the buttons on his shirt.

"Promise me you won't freak out this time?" she says, unable to keep herself from laughing.

"Wow. I honestly thought we were going to have a little moment there," he says, following the sound of her laughter out the door and towards the car.

"Aww. You know I love you," she says as he pulls the car door open for her.

"Yes, I do," he says softly. "And I love you."

----

Their second daughter is born that fall, and while Anna inherited her father's sandy blonde hair, Erin is all Peyton. Light blonde curls and eyes that Lucas insists will turn green.

Anna is a great big sister, and it's a role she takes seriously. She helps Peyton as much as she can, and she certainly loves her mother being home all the time. And she definitely loves her baby sister.

Lucas is surrounded by girls. They've all got blonde hair and tempers that flare - usually at him, for some reason - and they command his attention, which he willingly gives. They also love him unconditionally, and they, well, the two of them who can talk, are always eager to remind him of that. He's got his hands full, and everyone who knows them, knows it.

Truthfully? He can't see himself living any other life.

_**-Fin-**_


End file.
